Page 33 of His Retribution

"I got a few pairs of jeans, basic t-shirts, as requested, but I went for form fitting on everything to showcase your bulging muscles."

I roll my eyes again as Posey begins unpacking her haul.

"Socks. Tank tops. A couple pairs of sneakers. One pair of nice dress shoes. Slacks and two different button downs. I also grabbed some basketball shorts, hoodies, and a couple pairs of sweatpants." She looks at me and wags her eyebrows. "Girls are suckers for a hot guy in gray sweats."

"Women find joggers attractive?" This is news to me.

And the queen nods emphatically. "Absolutely! The way they sit low on narrow hips, show off that Adonis belt. It's all about the dick outline, baby."

My eyes widen to the size of dinner plates before I laugh harder than I have in ages.

"I somehow doubt my light will be seeing mydick outlinein the near future." I chuckle as I take in the spread on my bed. "Too many other obstacles to tackle first."

Posey nods. "I can imagine." Then, because she is slightly psychic, honest, and totally forward, she asks. "Have you been with anyone else since her?"

I smirk and cross my arms over my chest. "I believe you called me a bum not that long ago. What makes you think anyone would find that appealing?"

Yes, I know I'm avoiding the question but I do not wish to engage in this sort of conversation.

The only one that understands is Henrich and that is purely from a clinical standpoint.

Sex is different for vampires.

One can achieve orgasm through feeding alone, so sex is not something we generally need to have prior to mating. And if you are as privileged as I was to feed from your mate, well, mind blowing climax is unavoidable for both of you even without sex.

Not actual sex anyway.

Oral is different.

The act of sex, actual penetration, is the act of mating for vampires. There are similarities between our process and a shifter’s, a scent is left as a mark of territory, a bite is delivered and received. But if we engage in the act of intercourse then we are in fact mating with our partner. It is in the way one body receives the other, the way our genetics actually alter during the process, the way the blood-bond locks in on our DNA and embeds itself into our very souls as it links them for all of eternity. It is sacred and beautiful, something to be cherished and not given so freely to just anyone willing. And quite honestly, it leaves a little black mark on the participants sanity if one has sex with a partner that is not their fated mate.

It can lead to obsession, instability. Lack of purpose. Insanity. All things I was able to achieve on my own without trying to find warm bodies to replace my love in the interim.

Many vampires disregard this and screw like rabbits though.

Just not me.

Especially now that I know what it is like to be in love, to love so deeply and be loved the same in return.

Before my light I'd only ever found release at my own hand or while feeding, but even that was rare because it never seemed right. And though we wanted to, desperately wanted to, my light and I were never able to complete the act and solidify our bond.

So in short, I am essentially a five-hundred and eight year old, sort of virgin.

Sort of because virginity is not quite a thing amongst my kind due to the whole feeding ordeal, and just because my light and I never actually mated does not mean we did not engage in other things.

We engaged inlotsof other things.

"Oh, come on, Vok. Despite the hair on your face and horrible wardrobe I can tell there is one sexy man under there. Women would be all over you if you put yourself out there."

"Which I have not."

She gives me a dreamy smile. "I kind of love that. Saving yourself for your one true love, not tarnishing what you two shared by bed hopping until you could be together again." Posey sighs. "I get the impression Gypsy is in the same position."

Now this is something I've secretly been freaking the fuck out over for years.

What if my mate is reincarnated and finds someone else before she finds me? What if she gives what belongs to me away, gives it to someone more worthy, or worse yet, less worthy than I? What if my blue light gave up what she promised to me all those years ago just because she could not find me?

I did not care if my mate was a virgin or not, but when I found out my angel had been completely untouched, had never even been kissed before I came along, the fiercest level of possession came over me and I'd be damned to be ungrateful for such a beautiful way to solidify our bond.