Page 19 of His Flawed Ride (Sons of Lost Souls MC #16)

Chapter Seventeen

Lily

I have been driving for hours, but it feels like days.

Hopper is keen to get home and only stops when the club needs to refill their tanks or when they force Hopper to stop for a break.

He rides out of formation, staying close beside my car, not wanting to let me out of his sight.

We still have miles to go before we reach home, but I already know my chances of achieving another escape are next to none.

Even if I could escape, I could never return to Willow’s Peak.

This is my karma. I’ve bulldozed my way through life, getting away with fuck up after fuck up.

I’ve ran out of luck and now I have to deal with the consequences. Maybe I deserve to live this life.

Hopper signals to pull over and I park where he points off to on the side of the road.

“Set up for the night, we leave at first light,” he orders, and I sit in my car while the brothers set up their tents.

I should call Harper but at this point, I’m certain she wouldn’t pick up. The door to the passenger side opens and Hopper slides into the seat.

I know he’s going to shut the door, but I still flinch when it slams closed. I curl into my seat, wishing I could sink into it fully and disappear.

“No bullshit, tell me why you really left me, baby.”

His tone is soft, but I know how quickly it can change. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” I lie.

“What have I told you? You don’t think, I do.”

He leans across and holds my cheek, his thumb adding pressure to the bruise he gave me yesterday.

“So fuckin’ beautiful.”

His kisses are slow and tender. I’m so tired but I stay on edge. I’m ready when his hand slides around the back of my neck, his fingers latching into my hair. I’m ready when he yanks my head back and his soft kisses turn brutally hard.

“The next time you think and then try to leave me, I will kill you.” He bites down on my lip. “I’ll kill you, then I’ll kill everyone you love. Don’t fuckin’ doubt me, baby.”

He leans back into his seat, but his heavy gaze continues to suffocate me.

“When we get home, you’ve got some making up to do.”

I nod. It’s all I can do.

“And stop acting like you’re in danger. Act right and you’re fine.”

That’s a joke. His opinion on how I should act right changes like the wind. I could strive to be perfect and there would be something that would set him off. I don’t bother crying for the situation I’m now in.

I stare up at the stars as Hopper sits beside me, throwing back a beer.

Half of the brothers are already asleep and all I can think about is how my body still hurts from Hopper throwing me around yesterday.

Sleeping on the ground with Hopper beside me is enough for my stomach to tighten and a weight of nausea to sink.

While he talks with his vice president, I fall into my imagination.

I wonder what my life would have been like if I had have told Cas he was Harper’s father from the beginning.

I wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed in Willow’s Peak.

I don’t believe for one second that I would’ve made a life with Cas.

Nothing and no one would have gotten between him and Alannah.

But I would have had his and her support raising Harper.

Not only would I have had a different life if we had stayed, but Harper would also.

But I always knew better, when all along, I knew nothing.

Hopper takes my hand and wordlessly I follow him to his tent. Traffic whizzes by twenty feet from where I’ll be sleeping tonight, and I wish I were in any one of those vehicles. It doesn’t matter where they’re going, I’d go anywhere as long as it meant I wouldn’t be with Hopper or his men.

“Undress,” he commands zipping up the tent.

“It’s cold.”

“Am I not enough to keep you warm? And do I have to repeat myself?”

I slowly unzip my jacket, hoping one of the brothers calls for his attention and he leaves me alone. No such luck. The sound of his metal belt buckle opening, and the brush of his jeans being pushed down his thighs recoils in my stomach.

Time to return to my happy place.

The Hades Hogs clubhouse is still as cold and depressing as it was before I left.

I have to force myself to undo my belt and push open the door.

The gates to their compound slam shut and I can’t be sure, but I swear there are more locks.

The firepits are still where they were when I left.

The fighting ring is still a faded blue from sitting in the sun.

The block of apartments is still as run down as ever and smeared in come and beer stains on the inside.

Nothing has changed but I have. I’m now going to do my best to make the most out of the shit pile I have landed in.

Hopper breaks the spell of depression surrounding me. He’s holding his hand out and I frown. I must’ve missed what he said.

“Phone, baby. Give it to me.”

I retrieve it from my purse and hand it over. It ran out of battery two days ago.

“If you behave, I’ll let you have it once a week to text your daughter.”

My first instinct is to snort. Harper won’t respond.

She most likely wouldn’t open the message or read it.

But for once, I keep my snort to myself and nod.

I make myself meek and mild. Not that I have any energy to argue with him until I’ve slept in a real bed for a few hours.

Even then, I dare not argue with him. I need to stay alive and to do that, I need to be on my best game.

Days pass and life back with Hopper is worse than before.

If it’s not him watching me like a hawk, it’s the brothers.

Even the club whores half my age keep me in their sights, when they’re not busy laughing at me.

It’s no secret Hopper is either angry with me or avoiding me.

I’m the leper that no one wants to be around.

It’s not even like I used to enjoy hanging out with them.

But I did have a level of respect as Hopper’s old lady.

Making my way across to the bar, Hopper isn’t with his VP or Road Chief.

I continue on with the knot in my stomach tightening its vice like grip with every step I take.

His office is just past the bathroom, and I knock on his door, waiting to be invited in.

I’ve only made the mistake of walking in without knocking the once.

I received a busted lip from a backhanded slap. After that, I learned quickly.

“Yeah?” he barks.

Opening the door, I’m met with him sat behind his desk scattered with empty beer bottles and an overflowing ashtray, and a club whore on her knees with his dick in her mouth.

She goes to stop but he fists his hand in her hair and forces her to continue while he sets his death glare on me.

“What the fuck do you want?” he barks.

“I need to go to the store.”

“What for?”

The last thing I want to do is stutter, and give him the satisfaction of knowing he affects me so.

“Ladies products.”

He snorts. “You ain’t no fuckin’ lady.”

Inhaling deeply, I keep my retort safely in the back of my throat. He sighs and jerks his chin toward his wallet on his desk. The whore gags and Hopper bites his lower lip in pleasure.

“Take what you need, but don’t take liberties. I want you back within the hour. If you make me come lookin’ for ya, you’ll regret it.”

“I won’t be long.”

I go to turn when the whore’s eyes meet mine and she smirks at me before going back down on Hopper.

“I don’t know why you’re smirking. You’re sucking the dick that was up my ass a few hours ago. Enjoy the taste of me, sweetheart.”

There’s just enough time to see her face redden with anger before I close the door and pick up the pace until I’m outside. The brother on the gate would usually jump up and open the gate for me but now, he arches his brow and remains on his ass.

“Turn your ass around, you know Hopper has forbidden you from leaving.”

“I have his permission.” I hold up the cash. “I’ve got an hour.”

Still disbelieving me, he pulls out his phone. The conversation is brief but when he hangs up, he stands and opens the gate.

“Hop says that if you’re not back in an hour, it’ll be me who comes finds you. Please, make it so I get the chance to chase your ass.”

His smirk is vile with his broken tooth, no doubt from a fight, and his straggly beard.

Out on the street, I blend into the people milling around and head straight for the store. I’ll make it back before the hour is up and bide my time. If I give it enough patience, Hopper will relax with me.

I never thought I’d bask in the fresh air, not that the city’s air is that fresh. But for the next fifty-seven minutes, I’m free and it’s as fresh as fresh can be.

I take the first corner, eyes everywhere, taking in the buildings and people like I haven’t bothered to take notice of before.

I’m too distracted with the clouds rolling above me I don’t see who slams a hand over my mouth and shoves me into the alley.

In the brief seconds of unknown, it occurs to me I should still try to scream for help, but there’s nothing in me to care. Who could be worse than Hopper.

I’m spun around and enveloped in my brother’s arms. I don’t need to see his face, I’d recognise his scent anywhere. My instinct is to fall into his hug, but I shove at him and demand, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Behind Slade stands my nephew and Myles, and behind him is Shane. He offers a small smile but then I focus on Slade.

“We’ve been waiting for you to leave their compound.”

“Hopper hasn’t let me leave on my own till now. Seriously, what are you doing here?”

My last memories of Willow’s Peak were Leo making it clear the Lost Souls were not going to help me. Hell, Slade made it clear he was done with me.

“What the fuck do you think we’re here for?” Myles snaps. “We’re here for you, to take you home.”

I shake my head. “If I go back with you now, Hopper will only come after me again and this time he won’t play fair.”

“Your lack of faith in us is insulting,” Zachery grunts.

“It’s not that,” I assure him. “You were all right. I bring trouble everywhere I go. If I stay, it keeps Hopper far from home.”

“Listen to yourself! You’re talking crazy, Lily,” Slade barks losing patience.

Glancing at my watch, I’ve wasted eight minutes. “I have to go.”

“I’ll throw you over my shoulder if you force me,” my brother threatens, and I smile.

“I love you, but I have to do this. I’ve brought it on myself, and this is how I try to mend it.”

“We don’t have much time, grab her, and let’s get out of here!” Myles chimes in.

“Slade. Listen to me. I’m safe here, I keep my head down, and it’s not that bad. I love that you came all this way for me, but if I run with you, he’ll kill everyone, and I don’t want any deaths on my conscience. Go, I’ll get myself away one day, but it isn’t today.”

I push past him to get to the store when Shane blocks me. “Listen to your brother, Lily. You’ll end up dead if you stay.”

“It’s a chance I’ll take for the club.”

He glances over my shoulder and Slade must give him the go ahead, he steps to the side.

It takes me sixteen minutes to get what I need and be on my way back to the club.

Before taking the last corner, I pause and exhale long and hard.

Clearing any and every emotion from my face, I walk back into the club and take my haul up to the room I share with Hopper.

Setting my toiletries on the dresser I hear the creak of the floorboards just outside our room.

“I’m shocked as shit you came back.”

“I told you I would.”

“Yeah, but with your brother in town, it’s surprising you didn’t cling to him while he took you home.”

A ball of tight tension drops in my stomach, and I turn to see Hopper isn’t as cool as his tone first implied.