Page 13 of His Flawed Ride (Sons of Lost Souls MC #16)

Chapter Eleven

Lily

L eo warned me to get my ass to the club and that if he had to come look for me, I wouldn’t fucking like it.

Pissing off one motorcycle club is bad enough, if I listen to my instincts and leave town, I’ll have two clubs after me.

I don’t have the energy to deal with one club, so I’ve been pacing the bar for the last two and a half hours.

I’m not sure if it’s the pounding in my chest or in my head that’s muting everything around me.

In no scenario does this work out for me. I’ve managed to prove everyone right and there’s no satisfaction to be taken from it.

The roar of motorcycles drowns out the pounding and I rush to the door to make sure it’s the Lost Souls returning.

Leo zeros in on me the second he parks, and I shrink away from the door. It won’t help but the darkness around the club’s president has me regretting every shitty decision I’ve ever made, even the ones before he was born.

He points his finger at me, threatening, “Don’t fuckin’ move.”

I don’t think I could if I tried. The closer he gets, I grow numb. I’m pretty sure my shoes have become stitched into the floor.

He grabs onto my arm and shoves me until my back hits the wall.

“Talk! And if you lie or leave anything out, I’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out.”

“I... I… After I left Willow’s Peak, I…”

“Get to the fuckin’ part where you became the Hades Hogs president’s old lady!”

“I met him in a bar and that was that. He treated me good in the beginning but then he turned out to be like every other man I’ve met. I waited for an opportunity and then I left and came home.”

“What about the money he was banging on about?”

“Oh yeah, that. I took a bag of his cash on my way out.”

“How much?”

“Forty grand.”

“Fuck, Lily!” He slams his fist into the wall beside my head and I flinch. “When you said you overheard strangers, you were really talking about Hopper, weren’t ya.”

“Yes,” I finally admit.

“You know the club, you knew what would happen if you came back and they followed.”

I say nothing. At this point, nothing I say will help my cause.

“But you thought the club would protect you, didn’t you? You’ve got your brother and nephew wearing the patch, your daughter’s married to the VP…”

My son-in-law cuts in, “Don’t be so quick to add me to her list of people who give a shit.”

I scowl his way, but it hits his asshole wall.

“Leo, I’ve been wanting to come home since I left.”

“There has been peace around here and if that’s changed because of you, I will personally help Luca end your life and dig your grave.” He turns his back to me, adding, “I don’t care where you go but you’re gonna leave town. Get the fuck outta here.”

I step around him and stop short in front of my brother. For the first time in my life, he looks at me like I’m the enemy.

“That’s the fourth time Luca’s been brought up with you. What the fuck is going on?”

I glance at Leo, and he doesn’t tell me to keep my mouth shut.

“Luca was the reason I left town. He said if I didn’t, he’d kill me.”

I wait for his anger, but all he says is, “It seems the kid got you from the start. You should’ve stayed away.”

He storms out and I go to follow when I’m faced with Harper. Her disappointment chokes me.

“I knew better, but like a damn fool, I still let you in. I let you into my son’s life, though everyone warned me not to!”

“No-No! The reason I came back was dodgy, but it’s the truth when I say there is nowhere I’d rather be than here with you and Gunner.”

“It’s laughable. I see your mouth moving but all I hear are lies.

All I smell is bullshit, and trust me, I’m well familiar to the stink.

You forget, I’m the one who knows you as well as yourself.

I know how you think. I know how you react in different situations.

I know how after you’ve taken as much as you can, you run and pretend that life somewhere else will make your miserable life better.

But it never does, does it? No matter where you go, it’s you who’s the fuck up. ”

A hot tear rolls down my cheek. They say the truth hurts and boy, don’t it just fucking sting like a bitch.

“Harper, please, we can move past this. I meant it when I said I’m not going to mess my last chance up.”

“I don’t know all that’s gone on today, but I know enough that I don’t want you anywhere near my son. You’ve proven time and time again that you won’t ever change, and frankly, it’s kinda pathetic to see you try.”

All I can do is watch her walk away. There will be no words or actions to make up for this. Not now. I turn around and Slade is right behind me.

“This ain’t a usual Lily fuck up. This goes beyond anything I believed you capable of doing.”

“Slade, please. I know I’ve…”

“You knew exactly what you were doing and what could happen rolling with another club. Because of you my wife, my niece, and my great-nephew were in danger. My family, Lil!”

“I’m family too.” It’s weak but I still say it.

“Only when it suits you!” he bellows. “From now on, stay the fuck away! You see something good, you go in the opposite direction cause you’ll only find a way to fuck it up. I’m done.”

“Slade…”

“I’m done, Lily. I’m fuckin’ done with you and all your bullshit. Harper’s right, you’re never gonna change and I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life bailing you out.”

One moment he’s purging years of all the ways my life has been an annoyance to him and then he’s gone. The tears come hot and heavy, and I have to dig my nails into my palms to feel anything.

Warmth circles my arms and then I’m watching the town whizz by me. I glance across the truck and Shane is driving.

“I now live on Ceder Drive,” I mumble.

For all my trying I’ve still ruined everything. Harper is never going to give me another chance and I don’t have the first clue how to repair my relationship with Slade.

“I’m sure if you give it time, you’ll be able to fix this shit with your family.”

“Not this time. I’ve spent the last thirty years on thin ice, I’ve gone too far for the last time.”

He pulls up outside my apartment building and the thought of him driving away and me being left alone is terrifyingly depressing. When he doesn’t kill the engine, I lean across and turn the key myself.

“Come in, stay for a while.”

“I should get back to the club, Lily.”

It’s not the first time a man has said something I didn’t want to hear, and it’s not the first time I’ll have to change their mind. This is something I am good at.

I climb onto his lap and make sure to grind against him hard enough he begins to forget about leaving or even thinking at all.

“Lily, we shouldn’t do this.”

“Why? Are you worried about what the club will think?”

“It has nothing to do with the club. You’re not in a good place.”

I snort. “You think you’ll be taking advantage?”

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. It’s exactly what he thinks. Once the first tear falls, another quickly follows and then it’s a flood.

Shane wraps his arms around me and holds me while I cry. “It’s gonna be okay, Lil. Shit always has a habit of working out.”

Sitting up straight, I use my sleeve to wipe my eyes. “I’ve been waiting all my life for it to work out. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m not going to be the person who has it all.”

“No one has it all.”

“Yeah, they do. The house, kids, a good man, no debts, no running in the middle of the night.” I open his door and climb off of his lap as I slip out of his truck. “I’m better off alone.”

I slam his door shut before he can offer sentimental bullshit.

I make it to the main door before he calls out my name.

“Go back to the club, Shane.”

“What are you going to do?” he asks and I frown. “If Hopper comes looking for you.”

“He doesn’t know where I live.”

“I reckon I should stay a while, make sure he doesn’t show up.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Turning my back to unlock the door, I smile. I’ll be alone at some point but not yet.

I wait at the bottom of the communal stairs and wait for him before heading up to my apartment. I hate that I need a man to feel anything but as usual, I’m going to pretend I’ve found Mr. Perfect until it becomes obvious he’s not.