Page 48 of He Thugged Me First

LOVE

I just didn’t want to lose myself or him.

I loved my daughter with everything in me, but my biggest fear was that we’d forget us and become this traditional man and woman who only conspire for marriage and kids.

We were too young for that and that was my biggest fear.

I smiled glancing down at Sophia, she was the most giddy and happiest child I’d ever encountered.

“Why do you worry?” My sister’s voice filled the air around me. She’d stopped by with my niece.

“What do you mean?” I glanced her way before focusing on Sophia’s deep dimples that she inherited from her father.

“You’re pouting into thin air. Are you unhappy?”

“No, never that.” I shook my head incredulously.

“Then what?”

I looked around the living room then back at my baby girl. “I think too much, I fear that we won’t be us once we settle into roles as parents. That somehow things will change and we will?—”

“Quari isn’t dad and you aren’t mom. You and that angry ass man share one of the most purest loves I’ve ever seen. Your fear that things will get old and die out is normal, but it’s not really your circumstances. You know that, you just have that little overthinking thing that you do.”

I laughed. “Compared to Cass, Quari is the least angriest man. I hear you, though and you’re right. My brain just?—”

“Overthink and then that becomes doubt. I can tell by the way your smile grows so tight. It’s like you wait for the bad shit to happen when you should really take things for how they are. As people we get so caught up in preparing for what’s to come and we forget what’s right in front of us.”

I just looked at her because she was right and I knew that, I just needed to stop doubting and over thinking everything.

Quari and I will be great parents as we are great lovers.

Nothing would change and become horrible after a while.

I had to force myself to get it together and realize that Lola was right, I wasn’t my mother and Quari wasn’t my father.

We were nothing like them, so there was no indication that we’d end up like them.

“Anyways, you’re too damn young to be out here worried about that.

Y’all are hot and you’re even hotter with that beautiful ass little girl.

Now gimme my niece and stop hogging her.

” My sister giggled and walked over grabbing Sophia from my arms. For a moment she cooed at her, then she looked up at me. “I mean she looks nothing like you.”

I was hearing that from everywhere, my daughter looked so much like her father that it baffled me. “I hear that too much, I didn’t expect it from you though. Especially because you should feel my pain.”

She giggled. “I do, our genes are weak as fuck. I’ve already made peace with it.”

“How did you feel about when Kasair was in the streets?” I asked, glancing over at her. That was also something on my mind. Though Quari told me not to worry, I couldn’t. I always would, shit in this day and age I worried every time he walked out of our front door.

“Of course I hated it, but I couldn’t tell him not to.

” She glanced at my niece. She was sitting on the floor eating gummy bears entranced by the program, she wasn’t paying us any attention.

“Also I knew that Cassius was from a different world than I was. So I couldn’t just prance into his world and expect anything different from him than he gave me.

Honestly when I first met him, and I first allowed him between my legs, I had already vowed to love and accept him for all he came with.

Believe it or not, you did the same thing. ”

I nodded my head because I knew exactly when I did.

We both sat in the middle of his bed. I was straddling him while he sat up with his arms around me, kissing my neck and face. “We’re so different, but you were created for me. ,” he said the words into my neck between kisses.

I smiled resting in his embrace.

“Promise me yeen never gonna leave me, that this shit is for eternity.” He pulled back and his serious eyes were on me. It felt like he was staring through my soul.

Moving my hands from his neck to the sides of his face, I looked him in his eyes and said exactly what he asked. It wasn’t a force or some type of empty promise. The moment I got into the car with him, I knew this was different.

“Did you hear me, Love?” Lola’s voice pulled me from the beautiful flashback holding me hostage in my head.

“No, I got stuck in my head.”

“I said she’s four months, right?” she asked, holding my baby up.

“Yeah.”

“And you haven’t had any time to be, you know.” She craned her neck attempting not to say what she wanted to because now my niece was standing in front of her.

“Not much but?—”

“Get some, have some fun and let me keep my niece. Have you pumped?” She peered over at me.

“No, I mean yes, but you don?—”

“Yes I do. You’ve watched all of my Crum snatchers when I just needed a moment with my husband, now I wanna give you some time with your fiancé.

I’m talking about that time where you feel like the center of attention and you not have to worry about that crying in the other room or the freaking baby monitor. ”

I laughed at her terms but I understood what she was saying. The problem was that I’d never been away from her so I felt like my brain was panicking. “I’ve never?—”

“Oh, I know and she’s your first so you probably have separation anxiety. So, I gonna give you three calls and then you leave us the fuck alone for the night. Now do me a favor and pack her a bag.”

Somehow I allowed Lola to talk me into letting her take my baby. I missed her the moment she drove off, but I knew I kind of needed this time. Instead of doing what I usually did and pulling out a book, I texted Quari.

Me: When will u be home?

Him: OMW now, why?

Me: No reason

I saw that he was texting because the little bubbles showed up at the bottom of the screen.

Instead of waiting to see his response, I pressed the side button on my phone and tossed it on the sofa.

I had just gotten an idea, but since he was on his way home I didn’t have much time.

Knowing him, he was probably just leaving Ozzi’s or whatever so I had about an hour.

I rushed into our bedroom while stripping from my clothes.

Seconds later I hopped into the shower and began to wash my body with my favorite lemon whipped body soap.

Minutes later I was hopping out and walking toward my closet to moisturize and grab what I planned on wearing for him when he walked in the door When I was finished, I picked out a peach two-piece panty and bralette set and rushed back to the living room.

Before I could sit, I grabbed my favorite faux fur and wrapped it around my body.

Quari kept the furnace cold as hell so I always kept throws in every little space.

Once I took a seat, I allowed the throw to fall slightly around my shoulders while I picked my phone up. I saw that he’d texted me twenty minutes ago.

Him: Why? You must want me to stop and get sum.

It was cute that he thought I wanted him to stop for one of my cravings, but I didn’t. If only he knew I didn’t give a damn about the food tonight. Seconds later, I heard his keys in the door and then him walking in calling my name.

“In here.” I never turned around to meet his gaze. Instead I continued to look ahead with a devious smirk on my face.

“Fuck you sitting in the dark looking all…” His voice trailed off once he walked into the living room and saw what I was wearing. I looked up at him and a smirk covered his handsome face. “Demon time.”

I giggled before standing. “I thought we could have a little us time and we could?—”

“Where’s Soph?” he asked as he pulled me into him.

“With her auntie. Now back onto the subject.” I peered at him as I pushed him backward onto the sofa. Then I climbed onto his lap straddling him. “I thought maybe you and I could have some fun.” I smiled.

He didn’t even speak, instead he gripped my neck firmly and pulled my face toward his. He licked my lips before mashing his against mine. Then he pulled back and just looked at me. “You are just beautiful, in this moment and every other.”

I craned my neck forward, locking lips with him again. I craved him in a way I couldn’t even explain. Quari had me mentally physically and emotionally belonging to him in ways I’d never be able to articulate.

Without another word he stood up with me in his arms and carried me toward the kitchen where he sat me at the island and stepped between my legs.

I reached for the hem of his hoodie making sure to his shirt underneath too.

Once it was removed and tossed across the room, he looked at me before allowing his hands to travel all over my exposed skin.

“Ya beautiful.” He allowed his hands to travel further down until he had them looped in the band of my lace underwear.

Instead of pulling them down, his hands followed the hem of them until he reached the seat and used his index finger to pull it to the side before he spoke, “Lay back, let me taste you.”

He didn’t have to do anything else because I did as he asked as I heard him pulling one of the stools up so he could sit.

This nutty ass man was about to sit while he ate the life out of me.

I didn’t know a soul more meticulous than him.

The first lick across my flesh had me ready to cry.

With my eyes tightly closed, my hands rested in his curly hair as he continued to work his tongue in ways that helped me end up pregnant in the first place.

KASAIR

This morning I was up early. Yesterday Quari and I had already agreed to get this shit out of the way early. Hell, even Mazz was going along with us so of course we needed to handle this shit. I wanted whatever this dark cloud we had been living with these last few months to be over.