Page 13 of He Thugged Me First

“The violence, Kasair. Must you be so brute?” I set my vibrating phone on the coffee table and turned back around in his arms. Somehow, I had found comfort and peace inhaling his scent and being under him.

At first, I hated it, but then it was this.

Exactly three days ago, he’d professed his love.

Seventy-two hours ago, he was there in all the right ways.

No matter the reason behind it, I saw the sincerity, the fear, and even the anger brewing within.

He thought I’d chosen another over him. He believed that I was done, when in reality I could never be such.

I just hoped this was a milestone and not just the end of something.

“Don’t, Mecca.”

I giggled before, kissing his chest. “Oh, I get it. You’re selfish, and you want me all to yourself?”

“If that shit ain’t obvious, I don’t know what is.” He had such a hard time talking about his feelings, but I knew him enough to know what he was feeling. At least I hoped I did.

Exactly four thousand three hundred and twenty minutes ago, we had embarked on this journey.

In no way was it physical, but it was mental.

I had known this man my whole life, but I’d never felt like such a stranger to him.

This side of him was different. The way he held me was even different.

It was like he was afraid I’d leave him.

“Sarcastic ass, I’ll tell him when he gets back into town. Exactly what am I telling him? That I’m entangled or?—”

“Keep playing with me, Mecca.”

I giggled even louder because he really wasn’t playing. “Oh, you my boyfriend -boyfriend?”

“I’m glad you’re on bullshit. Now watch that nigga come up missing because you wanna be funny and shit.”

“Nope. I’mma have fun with this. There’s no reason for that man to come up missing if I’m laid up in my intimates under you, right?” I asked.

“Nigga still calling ya phone.”

“So? It’s a free country.” I shrugged and kissed his chest again. Having him here like this had me thinking of all the wrong things, especially because my sister was in the room next to us. I could hear her toys hitting the toy box, so yeah, she was still up.

“You telling me if a bitch hit me up right now, you woul?—”

“There is a difference. Only one of us is actually a ho. I, on the other hand, have no problem letting him know.”

“Don’t speak educated to me, shorty. You fucking stuck, so do me a favor and handle ya shit before I lose my shit.”

“Good talk. Now can I have some?—”

“No.” He shook his head like he was my father or something.

“Why not?” I found myself whining with a pout.

“You hear Mel throwing them damn toys around in that room. If I slide up in you and she comes running out here because you’re screaming, how are you gonna explain that to her?”

He had a point, so I rested back in his arms and settled for the cuddling.

“Why did you drag me here?” I mugged Kasair as he made sure my protective vest was tight enough. I couldn’t believe I had allowed this nigga to drag me paintball shooting with him Mazz, Quari and Gayze. Of course, Love was here, but she was out for obvious reasons.

“This is teamwork. This is how I’mma know you got my back for real.

” He looked at me like we were actually going to war.

The last time I was shot with a paintball was Halloween of ’07.

Somebody was driving past and shot me right in the thigh.

My bitch ass cried all the way home. Now I was petrified of those damn things.

I swear I didn’t know why I let him bring me here.

He made it seem like it was fun, but getting shot couldn’t be fun, and I was pretty fucking sure Mazz shouldn’t have even been here.

“Y’all ready?” Quari walked around the corner, strapped up like he was in Iraq. I mean, literally his outfit was like some shit out of a hunting magazine.

“Hell nah. Let me go sit by Love. This is not my sport.” I shook my head.

“Fuck outta here. Just aim and shoot.” Kasair mugged me.

I side eyed him while Gayze walked up with my brother in tow. He smirked and looked at me before he shook his head. He knew I didn’t do shit like this.

Before I knew it, a horn blared and Kasair had dragged me in a different direction from my brother and the group. It was like we were in a maze. I didn’t even know how this was considered fun. I wasn’t able to speak because all I heard was clicks whiz past me.

“Get yo’ ass down!” Kasair whispered harshly.

Of course, I did what I was told before glaring at him. I had half a mind to shoot his ass because he had me in this predicament.

He put up two fingers and silently pointed at the opposite direction.

“Negro, we ain’t in one of ya fucking games. You betta speak.”

“Yo, you gonna get us shot. Move yo’ slow ass over there.” He pointed.

I tilted my head to the side. “Nah, you first.”

He looked at me like he hated my ass before shuffling to the side opposite of where I was. Hearing footsteps, I turned around and did what I remembered Kasair saying. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

“Thank you!” Gayze rejoiced and skipped off the course.

“Good fucking job, but don’t close them big ass eyes no more.” Kasair mugged me just as a few shots whizzed by his shoulder. It barely missed him, but you could tell somebody was higher up with some good ass aim.

“This motherfucker done got a vantage point,” he whispered. “We ain’t on that super soldier shit, Quari!” he yelled out as we eased along the wooden barrier.

“Stop moving so fast.”

“Stop moving so fucking slow,” he countered as he continued to move.

“My bad, Mec!” I heard Quari yell out before three shots rang out and I felt pressure on my shoulder.”

I fell to the ground, dropping everything like I was actually shot. This nigga had shot me, and I didn’t even know what direction he was coming from.

“Yo, you shot my bitch.” Kasair yelled out, which brought me back to my senses and I picked my gun up and aimed at him, hitting him in the back. He knew I didn’t play about that bitch word.

“No friendly fire! The bullhorn blared throughout the course.

“Get yo’ ass on, we’ll deal with this at the crib.” I laughed and skipped off, hurt shoulder and all. When I entered the space where Love and Gayze stood, they were giggling at something.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“I was just saying I don’t know why y’all even did this with him. He’s too good.” Love pointed to the top of a tree. I squinted my eyes, and after a few seconds I saw Quari. I wondered why his outfit looked like it was from Rednecks anonymous.

“Well I’ll be damned. They don’t even have a chance.” I shook my head because from where he was, he had eyes on both of them. “They do this every year, and he always wins, and they still don’t know?” I asked.

“From the looks of it, nope. Look at Kasair crawling on the ground like a snake.” Love pointed at the monitor.

We all busted up laughing right before Quari’s voice blared. “One!” Then we heard two clacks. Then he yelled again. “Two!” That was right before we heard another two clacks.

“Nigga, that ain’t fucking fair. You do this shit every year.

You come out here and use us like we target practice.

” Kasair yelled while Mazzier was cracking up laughing.

I really didn’t understand why they even did this with Quari.

I didn’t think about it at first, but it was no secret that Quari was good with a gun, so why the hell would either of these fools set themselves up for such failure?

I think we spent over five hours at this place, and each time, Quari used them as target practice because Gayze and I refused to get back in.

GAYZE

Today was a day, but the sky was blue, and everything seemed so beautiful.

I had been spending more and more time with Mazz, and it was beautiful.

Since that night at the restaurant, things with us became deeper.

I mean, it was like I’d been living so colorless and dull, and then he came.

He gave me a different air to breathe. That night at his house, all we did was talk back and forth.

A few pecks and even feels later, he still hadn’t taken it there.

I felt like he was trying to be respectful and show me it was something different.

The thing is, I wanted him to be straight up disrespectful.

Of course, Chase and I had barely spoken, and I could tell he was avoiding me like he always did.

This time was different of course, because the past week I had been all over Chicago and spent more time at Mazz’s home than my own.

“What’s different?” Kenya asked with her legs crossed and pen ready to write down all of my thoughts.

Everything. “Nothing.”

Something is with you. You seem to be breathing differently. You’re less wound and more loose.

Bullshit! I giggled aloud. “Now I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“When was the last time you saw Mr. Carson?” she asked.

Fuck! Caught. “Last night.” I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see her expression. “We’ve been hanging out lately.” I couldn’t control the smile that was plastered on my face.

“And how does that feel?”

“Like I’m floating, and I’m not ready to come down,” I responded honestly.

“Then don’t. When we find that thing that makes us float, none of us want to come down. Who wants to walk when they can float?” she asked. That was one of her trick questions because she was about to flip it on my ass. “However, how can you float when you have a situation you refuse to deal with?”

By pushing it to the back of my skull . “I don’t. Chase and I are merely roommates at this point,” I responded.

“Have you slept with Mr. Carson?”

“Nope, but not for lack of desire. We just haven’t taken it there. We just?—”

“Hang out,” she finished.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“He clearly makes you happy, so why not?—”