Page 28 of He Thugged Me First

MAZZ

T his school couldn’t tell me shit at this point.

They had shown me a surveillance video of a nigga who looked nothing like me, picking my sister up.

I couldn’t even speak because I was on the verge of blowing the fuck up in this school.

Instead of sitting there and listening to these people tell me all that I didn’t want to hear and apologize, I turned and walked out of the door.

I had to find my sister, though I didn’t know the first place to look.

Once I stepped out of the door something didn’t feel right.

I looked up and there she was walking toward me without a care in the world.

“Mel!”

“Mazzi!” She screamed running to me.

The moment her six-year-old frame was in my arms I pulled her tight kissing her forehead. When I pulled back, she was just looking at me.

“Why didn’t you come get me, Mazzi?” She looked like she’d been crying.

“Baby I was here to get you, where did you go?” I asked hoping she remembered anything.

“He said you told him to come get me, he was…”

“He who, Mel?” I asked, attempting to keep it soft with her.

She couldn’t respond because before I knew it I heard Mecca’s loud voice behind me.

“Nah fuck that, one of you bitches better get like dude from that movie. Find my fucking sis—” She didn’t finish the sentence because she rushed over and pulled Mel into her arms.

“What the fuck?” She asked, looking around.

Something didn’t look right about her, she did look sick. She looked pale and like the color had drained from her face. The moment I was about to ask, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell back. I was close to her, so before she hit the ground, I caught her.

“Mazzi, what’s wrong with Mecca?” Mel’s small voice prompted me to look at her as I was not holding mecca bridal style.

I couldn’t give her an answer because I didn’t even know.

“C’mon Mel.” I rushed toward my truck which was still double parked in the streets.

I didn’t plan on being in the school for as long as I was.

I popped the locks, and opened the door putting Mecca in the back seat before I put Mel in as well.

The moment I was in the car I sped away from the spot in the direction of the hospital.

“Why are you driving like a bat out of hell?” Mecca’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Because ya ass passed out. Just lay back, we're going to the hospital.”

“I told you I was fine Mazzier.” Mecca spat as the nurse took her blood pressure.

“Hell nah, you passed out. We need to make sure ain’t nothing else going on.” I cut my eyes at Mel who was busy playing the game on my phone instead of paying attention to us.

“Ms. Carson are you?—”

“Yes, I just found out.” Mecca looked at the nurse as if she knew what she was about to ask.

“Just found out what?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t what I thought it was. Mecca didn’t want kids.

My sister glanced at me then back at the nurse.

“I’ll have the on-call OB come and check you out.” The nurse exited the room.

I looked at Mecca through wide eyes. Now I knew what the fuck that meant, so she should’ve been telling me something here.

“Stop looking at me with your big ass eyes. Yes, I’m pregnant. I just found out and I haven’t told Kasair.” She snapped in my direction.

I didn’t even have a response. I was speechless at this point. I just stood to my feet and looked her over. I could tell she thought I was about to lecture her.

“Say something Mazz, damn. I know you’re about to?—”

Her words were halted by me kissing her forehead. She was grown and she had this. “You good, just know I ain’t on the babysitting kick.”

She laughed. “Now that my laundry is out, we’re here so why don’t you go?—”

“What am I going to say to her?” I shook my head and stood up straight. I knew I had fucked up with Gauze, probably more than I could fix but I wasn’t in the mindset to fix it. I had other shit on my plate. “That ain’t important. Have you talked to Kasair?”

“No, his phone went to voicemail when I called him earlier.” She shrugged. I could tell she was worried about him. She shouldn’t have been, though. he was smart and wouldn’t out himself in a stupid position.

“Mazzi who is Miles?” Mel’s voice interrupted me before I got too deep in my thoughts.

I glanced over at her, before back at Mecca. “I don’t know, baby girl. You tell me.”

“He said he was our brother. Is that true?”

I had no response so I just looked at her.

“No, whoever he is isn’t our brother. It’s only us, Mel.” Mecca responded.

Mel looked from me to Mecca before she nodded her head. “He was really nice and told me to give you this.” She went into her pocket and pulled out a small white card. When she handed it to me, I looked down and it had a message scribbled across it. It read, You’ll see me soon.

Before I could speak, a doctor walked in with a nurse in tow. She was pushing a large machine into the room. “Hello, I’m Dr. Chefton, the resident OB here.”

I glanced at the pasty white woman before I looked back at Mel and all I could do was think while Mecca answered the woman’s questions.

What kind of nigga was I if I couldn’t protect the very people I was responsible for.

Somebody had walked into Mel’s school and picked her up.

All I could think about was the worse, shit could’ve went bad too quick, now I needed to figure out what the fuck was going on and handle it so no more what if scenarios happened.

I blinked a few more times before I focused my eyes on the card in my hands.

I stood and walked out of the room. I wasn’t going anywhere, I just needed to think.

It was almost like I had so much shit on my brain that it wasn’t computing anything. It was giving me blanks and that’s the last thing I needed at a time like this.

GAYZE

I dragged myself from my bed this morning.

Never in my twenty-nine years of living had I felt the way I was feeling.

The pain I was feeling now was different from any other.

It felt physical yet I knew it was emotional.

No description would do it justice, but I couldn’t sulk, nor would I.

I wasn’t built to be hurt and just carry it.

My mama raised didn’t raise a ho, she raised a woman who knew how to get through shit no matter what.

“So what are you gonna do?” Nadeen asked, as I stared down at the budget paperwork in front of me. One thing about me was no matter what I was gonna work.

“What do you mean, what am I gonna do?” I asked. This was why I rarely confided in my sister. I loved her dearly, but she handled things differently than me. she’d dwell and I buried shit.

“Gayze, he cheated on you. You haven’t answered any of his calls, don’t you think he’s gonna pop up on you?”

I shook my head. That was the last thing that I wanted or needed. “Hopefully he doesn’t. This is my job and I think he knows boundaries.”

“So what? You think he’s just gonna let things fall by the wayside?” she asked.

“Hopefully. We really have nothing to talk about, Na.” I stressed to her like I had been doing for the last day or so.

“All men cheat, Gayze. You just have to?—”

“Accept it? Basically allow a man to make me one of something for him. No. If a man wants me then I’m what he wants.

” I finished for her. My grandmother would’ve slapped her in her mouth for thinking like that.

I was taught that when a man cheated and you allowed it, you thought he was better than you.

I beg to differ, so here I was. I’d never lie, because this shit hurt like hell.

I had let him in and he did the very same thing he did to me when we were younger.

The thing is, this time I couldn’t just up and leave.

I had built a life here and had responsibilities.

This time I just needed to cut my losses and move differently.

It was a grown woman mentality instead of just taking what you can get from a man who doesn’t value you enough to get it right.

I just hated that I had put myself out there with him and he did this.

I hated how I was feeling and how this shit hit me.

I felt so off my square that at this point that my brain, my heart and brain were trying to convince my eyes that I didn’t see what I had.

Have you ever felt something so deep that you just wanted to forget it?

I hated that I had allowed myself to become so used to him, his smell, his look.

Shit! Everything about this man. No matter how much I wanted to be in his arms, I couldn’t.

No matter how many times I laid my ass up in my bed listening to Jasmine Sullivan, I knew I had to get over this.

“Gayze!” Nadeen’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Ye…yes?” I asked looking around my office then at the clock. It was finally time for me to go home and I had some time off tomorrow. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with that time, but I was for sure not coming here.

“You gotta get a grip on it, Gayze.” My sister lectured.

I shook my head. “I do have a grip on it.”

“So are you gonna take his calls.”

“Non, J’ai suis fini avec Mazzier. No, I’m done with Mazzier.

” I said standing from my desk to gather my things to leave.

I didn’t even realize that I had gone French on her until she started to speak back to me.

When we were younger my mother made us choose a language and learn it fluently.

She refused to not have us well rounded as she called it.

When I got angry from time to time I language switched.

“Pourquoi? Il est humain, nous faisons tous des erreurs.” Why? He is Human, we all make mistakes .