Page 25 of He Thugged Me First

“Gotcha,” I mumbled, feeling frozen in place.

I had fucked up and was feeling all that I had avoided over the years.

I stayed with Chase because he was the life vest. He was safe, and though he cheated, I knew all that he was capable of.

This nigga right here before me, I knew nothing of his capabilities, and I hadn’t even tried to learn them.

I’d allowed the right words and a slick smile to slither between my thighs and into my heart.

“G, let me explain.” His voice filled the room as his eyes bore into mine.

I was entranced until I realized the three headed mutt was walking right toward me.

I snapped out of the trance I found myself in and I hauled ass from his office.

Once again, I had fucked up, and now all I wanted to do was get my mind off of it.

I wanted to forget I ever allowed him to explore the inner depths of me, both physically and mentally.

I wanted to forget I’d allowed him to even know me after all these years.

The pain I was feeling had me wishing I never saved this nigga’s life months ago.

MECCA

I probably shouldn’t have been here, sitting across from him, but I was.

Though Kasair would’ve preferred I sent the man a long text message and blocked him on all lines of communication, I couldn’t.

I wasn’t built like that; he had gotten back into town a few days ago and hit me up asking if we could talk.

That was fine because Justice and I would talk for days.

That was one thing I valued the most about the time I had spent with him.

I was already eating when he finally arrived an hour late, and now he hadn’t said a word.

Instead, he just peered at me while I took bites of the juicy cheeseburger in front of me.

“How are you?” he finally asked.

I nodded. “Fine and still breathing. You?” I reached for the drink in front of me.

“Missing you.” He nodded in my direction.

“I did a lot of shit the wrong way. I expected you to just drop everything and come with me, not taking into account that you had responsibilities that didn’t revolve around me.

I’m sorry about that.” He was lying through his teeth, and that annoyed me.

I wondered if he realized all his Vegas activities made The Shade Room.

Though I didn’t care, I also didn’t like for somebody to play in my face like I was some dumb broad.

“You’re right, but I’m not here to fix anything, so I can’t let you go on. What I will do is apologize that I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m seeing someone, and it’s serious.”

He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he just looked at me and narrowed his eyes. “You wild.” he muttered, shaking his head and standing. “Here I am tryna?—”

“Nigga, don’t try that. You have bitches, and I’m not the only female you did this ‘I care for you’ ass role for.

I’m probably just the only female that kept it the fuck moving on your R she kept her gaze ahead.

“Mec—”

“No, seriously. Why are we put onto this earth? For torture and emotions to push us to our breaking points or to fight everyday depressions like depression and?—”

I put my hands on her face and turned her toward me.

“Mecca, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?

Did Kasair do something?” I studied her, trying to gage her reaction as she now started at me blankly.

She was looking at me the way Christina looked at Grey after the accident in Grey’s Anatomy .

Her ass better not have checked out on me because I needed her.

“I’m pregnant.” She was barely audible, but I heard her loud and clear.

I blinked a few times before putting my hand on my very pregnant belly. “How do you feel about that?”

She cracked a smile for the first time and looked directly at me. “I feel like whatever kid gets stuck with me is cursed. What the hell do I have to give to a kid?” She was looking at me for an answer.

“Everything. You underestimate yourself. You should already see that. You and Mazz have done everything for Mel and look at her. You don’t give yourself enough credit, but you’re raising a child right now, one who loves you to life and looks up to you.

I bet she’s in there asleep in your bed right now. ”

She didn’t respond, but I could tell the wheels in her brain were moving.

“Seriously, you didn’t biologically have Mel, but whenever I have this little alien, I just wish I could be half of the parent you are to Mel. Give yourself credit, damnit.” I nudged at her.

“I’m just scared. I don’t think I’m ready.” She shook her head. She was afraid, but I swear I didn’t know what to do.

“If it makes you feel any better, I am too, and you talked me through it. Then, every day I get my fat ass up and I eat. I eat with no remorse, and then I let Quari have it with my emotions because it makes me feel better.” I shrugged.

She busted up laughing. “You’re horrible.”

I giggled. “But it feels so good to inflict a little of the pain I have on him. Sooner or later, you’ll stop thinking damn, I’m pregnant, and you’ll get pissed that the bastard next to you is sleeping peacefully and you can’t keep down dinner.”

She kept laughing like I was supposed to retract what I said. “But, Love, what if I’m not good at my own kid?”

I laughed that time. “From what the books said, nobody is good at parenting at first. It just happens, I guess.”

She shrugged her shoulders and she looked a little more hopeful than she had when I first walked in the door.

The funny thing is I was in the same frame of mind that she was when I found out.

I mean, I knew my man was working to put a child in my uterus, but for some odd reason, I didn’t expect it to happen.

I didn’t expect to look up and have a test or six tell me that I was pregnant.

I just didn’t expect it, no matter how irresponsible we were being.

Somewhere between reassuring Mecca and thinking about my own little nugget, I had gotten caught up in my own brain.

In less than five months, I’d be birthing a little being and becoming responsible for it.

There was indeed so much that could go wrong that you prayed it all went right.

It didn’t take me long to come from Mecca’s home and to my own.

What I wasn’t expecting was for Quari to be cooking when I walked in the door.

It smelled good, and he looked even better standing over the stove even though he couldn’t cook.

“Yo, don’t get yo’ hopes up. That chef lady said to just warm this shit up on the stove instead of the microwave.” He turned around and looked at me.

I giggled. “You’re such an ass. It would’ve been so much better had you not said anything.”

He turned around and walked over to me. “How is ya girl?”

“She’s straight,” I said before looking around the room. Our table was set, and there were roses on the floor and everything. “To what do I owe such pleasure?”

“Damn, I can’t just do shit because?” he asked, pulling me into him. He gazed down at me as a smile crept onto his handsome face.

“I guess you can. It’s nice.” He leaned down, and I pecked his lips.

“Good, but first let me ask you something.”

Before I knew it, he was on one knee in front of me, and I felt the waterworks about to start. When I finally looked into his eyes, he had that same goofy ass smile.

“I’ve loved yo’ ass before I even knew what it was, Love. Even when I didn’t know how to say it, you taught me your language. You didn’t require me to say it or even buy it. You just wanted me to be here. You’re all I want for the rest of my life, Love. Will you marry me?”

Before he could even finish his sentence, I was nodding my head up and down. I’d marry this man over and over if I could, because in my most unsure moments, he was my anchor. He kept me sane and understood me when no one could.

“Good, because I wasn’t taking no for an answer.” He stood up and pressed his full lips against mine.