Page 29 of He Thugged Me First

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. Even in French, she sounded gullible for a man.

My sister always wanted to see the best in a person.

“Il n'a pas fait d'erreur. Il a fait un choix.

Ne me blamez pas quand je crée le mien. J'ai fini d'en parler.” He didn't make a mistake.

He made a choice. Don't fault me when I make my own. I'm done talking about it.

She sighed into the phone before speaking again but this time in English. “Fine.”

When I finally hung up with her, I focused on getting out of there.

I wanted to go home to my bed, but first I wanted to do something I’d been thinking about.

Well actually Nadeen had reminded me, but it had been on my mind for a while.

Chase didn’t like dogs so that’s why I never had any, but now I lived alone so why not?

Once all of my stuff was sorted and packed, I grabbed my tote and I was out of the door.

I walked to my assistant’s desk to speak with her when a familiar scent caught my nose.

Couldn’t be. I looked around and there he was standing close to a room with his phone to his ear and a mug on his face.

I’m not sure if he saw me, but I saw him and that was enough for me.

I didn’t even stop at my assistant’s desk.

I’d just call her when I got to my car. I couldn’t risk him seeing me or even saying anything to me because I felt the tears at bay.

I was too emotional about this and I hated it.

Most of all I hated that I’d put myself in the position to be hurt like this in the first place.

“Let me get this right, you get your heart broken and you go buy that?” Autumn glared at the puppy in my lap. She hated dogs, shit in fact she hated all animals.

I giggled and looked down at the sleepy little fella.

As soon as I walked into the pet store I gravitated toward him.

I had planned on going in there and picking out one of those little cute furry things, but I did the complete opposite.

I chose a grey French bulldog. He was the cutest little sleepy thing and I named him Oz.

“He’s so cute, isn’t he?” I asked, holding his little chubby frame up for her to look at.

She shook her head no with the biggest frown on her face. “Hell no, you leave one dog alone to get another and then that dog alone to get another.”

I laughed. “There’s a difference.” I wasn’t shocked that she didn’t share the same opinion on the matter as my sister.

“Have you spoken to him?”

I shook my head no. “I don’t feel it’s necessary. If I want closure, I’ll go talk to my therapist. She’ll give me something close.”

Autumn laughed. “Fucking true, but you don’t need that in your life. You need a grown man, not a boy who can’t keep it in his pants. I’m starting to believe it’s what you attract.”

I smiled. I loved my sister, but she and I didn’t have these types of conversations.

One being because she had a different mindset.

But then again we had different situations, so I couldn’t fault her for what she said.

Unlike her, I had no attachment to Mazzier, but she had children to consider in every choice that she made.

“She understands. She was just happy to see you happy with someone other than that pink man.” Autumn must’ve been reading my thoughts when it came to my sister.

I laughed at Autumn’s reference to Chase and nodded my head. “You’re a mess.”

“Has he even called you?” she asked in reference to Chase.

“Actually no, the last time I saw him was in my office and he even got his things from security.” I shrugged.

“Good, no need for two men who can’t catch the hint.”

For the remainder of the night, I sat and chilled with Autumn.

It reminded me of how little time I spent with her or my sister since I’d entangled myself with Mazzier.

I missed our time. I just needed to get to me, not me and anyone.

I needed to learn myself and get back to my center before I allowed another in.

I don’t even think I had it in me to even risk the type of pain I was feeling ever again.

The most peaceful thing I had going on right now was lying back on my sofa with my little pooch at my feet asleep. This was me not missing hurricane Mazzier. Before I could finish my thought, my phone started going off. I glanced down and it was the hospital. Damn!

MECCA

Mentally I had to become comfortable with becoming a mother, it took me a minute, but the moment I got to this hospital the only thing I could think of was this baby.

Even with Mazzier’s reassurance after the ultrasound, I still worried.

I mean damn, was this what parenting was?

Worrying about all the freaky things that could go wrong or harm that little extension of yourself.

Mazz had left an hour ago to get Mel to sleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Kasair still hadn’t responded to any of my messages which naturally caused me to worry.

I just wanted him here with me though, they wanted me to stay overnight just to make sure my baby was alright and my blood pressure returned to normal.

“Did I miss something, shorty?” his voice filled the room and immediately calmed me.

I glanced over toward the doorway and he was standing there looking me over. He had a look of concern on his face, but he masked it well. “Ya missed a lot. Where have you been?” I asked sitting up and glaring at him. That fast I was angry with him for having me worried about him.

He laughed and swaggered his fine ass over to the bed that I was sitting in. “Funny because I got your message that mentioned Mel was kidnapped, then Mazz’s voicemail that told me what you left out.” He mugged me back.

I know for sure Mazz didn’t tell him why I was here, because before he left he lectured me about it. It wasn’t like I didn’t plan on telling him, I was just afraid and I didn’t know how he’d take it. Even then I didn’t even think he wanted kids, he’d never mentioned it and neither had I.

“You biting that lip, what’s up Mecca?” He was now standing in front of me peering at me with an expression filled with concern. This time he wasn’t masking it.

“I fainted at Mel’s school, they said my blood pressure spiked dangerously. They said it happens to pregnant women in their first trimester, but?—”

“Peep game, you can’t just speed through it like that, Mecca.” He curled his top lip.

I was relieved to see the seriousness leave his expression.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked.

“If I was, how would you feel?”

“Doesn’t matter, so tell me Mecca.” He started at me before he leaned forward to push a stray curl from my face.

“I’m pregnant, but?—”

“No but Mec.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips into mine. “No but, just gimme this light.”

Once he pulled back and was just staring at me, I could see something I didn’t see at first. It was hidden by his concern for me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing for you to worry your head over.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and looked at him.

I hated when he or Mazzier told me they didn’t want me to worry my head.

Just because somebody told you not to worry didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry.

I glared over at him before nodding my head.

He knew I was only letting it go for now, that I’d be back on the subject later very soon.

“Sorry Sir, the visiting hours are over. You’re gonna have to leave.”

I looked up and toward the door where a nurse stood. she was looking from me to Kasair.

He didn’t move.

“Sir.” She demanded.

“He’s fine.” A familiar voice sounded.

I looked up and it was Gauze. She stepped into my room and grabbed my clipboard.

“Damn sis, yeen speaking?” Kasair spoke, breaking her thoughts.

She giggled a little. “My bad, hey. Mecca have they been in to bring you dinner? You have to eat something.” She scolded me.

I laughed at her lecture. “No offense, but the food here sucks and I can’t keep anything down.”

She shook her head with a smile.

“I’ll be right back, let me take this.” Kasair excused himself from the room as he stood. “Eat the fucking food Mecca.”

I caught his mug before he left the room, then my eyes fell on Gauze.

She looked tired and her glow had died down, I knew that probably had something to do with my brother and I hated it.

Men always fucked up a good thing, and women were always hurt behind it.

“I wouldn’t be mad if you stabbed him. I wanted to when he told me.

” I was never one to bite my tongue or hold anything.

She looked up at me and the small frown on her face became a smile. It was forced. “It wouldn’t make it hurt any less.” She shrugged.

“I don’t know about you, but every time stabbed, teased or hit Kasair with my car, I felt a little better. I mean that was until I got home and had to think about the shit going in my heart, so I understand.”

She nodded.

“These niggas don’t deserve us sis.” I sat back rubbing my nonexistent belly. I guess I had made total peace with the idea of being a worrying mother.

“Fuck that, you ‘ont deserve me while you in here tryna be cute. What y’all got to eat in here, G?”

“What’s next spoiled ass girl? You want me to fluff your pillows too?” Kasair asked, mugging me from across the room.

“Um, that would be nice, they’re a little lumpy.” I only said yes because he was being sarcastic. We had just left the hospital and I was exhausted. The OB was worried about my blood pressure, but said we’d monitor it and scheduled for me to come back in later on this week.

He sucked his teeth before walking over to grab the pillows and fluff them, but I stopped him and grabbed his hands pulling him toward me. “I don’t really want that, what I want is for you to tell me what happened that has been weighing on you.”

He looked me over before taking a seat on the side of the bed. After a few moments, I realized he wasn’t looking at me. He was in his head and biting the skin on his bottom lip. He always did that when he had a lot on his mind.

“Kasair.”

“She ain’t dead. All those years, I told myself she died and that’s why she never came back for me.”

Immediately I knew he was talking about his mother. He didn’t talk about her often, and when he did it was always brief.

“One minute I’m watching Quari and this nigga, Gotti is spilling his guts. Then the next I heard her voice and I looked up and there she was. In that moment I felt like a fucking kid and all I could do was look at her.”

I looked at him and I wanted to comfort him, so I did. I pulled him into me. I didn’t know how he felt, but whatever it was had me wanting to be whatever I could to take away the ill feelings he had away. “What did she say?”

“I mean what could she say. She just looked at me and I could tell she was shocked and hadn’t planned on looking at me ever again.

I could see it in her face that she wanted to explain whatever her reasons were to me, but I didn’t want to hear it.

What could she say that would take it away all away? ”

“Nothing. Do you want to talk to her?” I had to ask because the pain I felt coursing through him was raw.

“Nah, when I needed her she wasn’t there. I don’t need her old ass now.”

“Fine.” I held him close and just comforted him until he pulled back and just looked at me.

“I Luh’ yo ass, Mecca Loraine Carson.”

I smacked my lips. “What I tell you about that middle name shit. Don’t call me that.” I hated my middle name with a passion and he was the only person who made it their mission to remind me of the god forsaken ass name.

He smirked. “What’s wrong with it? I mean yeah it gives you that old lady on a ranch sound but I’m cool with it.” he shrugged.

“Fine Thomas.”

He mugged me.

“Ohh, it’s not that fun when I say yours.” I teased.