Page 44 of He Thugged Me First

I giggled before my expression grew serious.

“I don’t play with my food never have. When some shit needs to be handled, I do just that or it won’t end well.

That’s about five times this motherfucker has come at us and we’ve done just this.

The thing is, I’m not this. That little motherfucker was in my car which means those motherfucker knows where I lay my head.

Fuck me, they know where my livelihood is. ”

“You're right.” Mazzier responded.

I nodded, but I didn’t need to hear that. “Y’all think of this shit but consider all that’s at risk because I don’t have the patience for whatever the fuck this is.

“What happened?” Was what she asked when I walked in the door.

She had been all in my shit since I took my hoodie off and revealed the moist, bloodstained hoodie that clung to my skin.

I could see in her face that she was worried, but she had to give me a minute.

After handling things, I always needed a moment but this time I needed her.

I couldn’t utter a word because she had never seen me bleed or any of that, so I didn’t know what to say to her that wouldn’t worry her.

At this moment I didn’t know how to ease her mind because I couldn’t ease my own.

The one thing I found to be very clear was the last words I’d said to Kasair and Mazzier.

I was serious, I didn’t like this shit one bit.

I even hated that I came home when I had nothing but murder on my mind.

My attention was broken by the sound of the door cabinets opening.

Her hair was no longer flowing around her face, instead she had it in a ponytail on top of her head balled up.

She looked at me but she didn’t. In that moment we were in a different space and I could feel it.

We had been since I told her not to worry.

Without a word, she gripped the hem of my shirt an helped me out of it.

Seconds later she tossed it on the floor next to us before she moved to my side to assess my shoulder.

It wasn’t that bad I just bled a lot. Once she silently cleaned me off, she patched me up and started to clean up after herself still without a word.

“Don’t worry.” I found myself stressing from my lips.

“Then don’t make me.” She turned around and looked at me in the eyes with her weary ones. “Handle this and make sure it’s no longer a problem. Remember when I asked you why you were so good at what you do. What did you tell me?”

“Because I don’t play with the veggies.”

“Then stop playing with your Veggies.” She responded before I reached and pulled her into me.

KASAIR

All that Quari said last night was true.

He was right and I knew for a fact that I needed to get my shit together and handle this before it got out of hand.

I had to stop trying to move like Mazzier did and move like myself.

I was grateful for all that my boy had taught me in these streets but now it’s time for me to handle this shit my way.

Last night I didn’t sleep at all because I had too much on my mind.

This morning when I left Mecca’s bed I did something I probably should’ve done a while ago.

As much as I liked to say not having my mama in my life didn’t affect me, it did.

The way I looked at the world and how I carried myself was affected.

I was just another nigga in denial with mommy issues.

Since that day, Gotti handed me her information that the card had been burning the inside of my pocket.

I mean hell yeah I could’ve taken it out of my pocket, but I didn’t.

I kept it there and pulled it out from time to time to just look and make sure it was real.

Unlike any other day, today I needed some type of closure that I had never craved.

So here I was, walking into the diner that I had agreed to meet her at.

I wasn’t shocked that she was sitting there early.

Something didn’t change. Seconds later, I took a seat in front of her and I just looked at her.

I wanted to be anything but angry with her but I couldn’t.

I head to hear her out, to weigh out if her idea of leaving me with him even meant anything.

“I’m sorry.” She started this conversation off with dread filled eyes and an apology like it could do anything for me at this age. All it did was make me swallow hard and wait for the next couple of words to exit her small aged lips.

“I won’t sit here and make any excuses as to why I left you there, but I had no choice.

I don’t know if you remember back then, but that night we were arguing and I threatened to leave like I had done over a thousand times.

This time was different. I meant it because he just used to get so angry.

” Tears began to fall from her eyes, but I couldn’t comfort her.

something in me just couldn’t. “I love you, Kasair. I always have and I always will but had I stayed, he would’ve killed me. I couldn’t keep going through that.”

Somehow I found my voice. “And what do you think he put me through?” I asked.

She didn’t respond, or I didn’t give her the chance to because I was already leaving.

I thought about the closure, and maybe I did but this wasn’t it.

I thought I was but I wasn’t trying to hear what she was saying because it all registered as bullshit in my brain.

She left because he could’ve killed her, but what about me?

He could’ve killed me too, and I couldn’t understand how it was so easy for her to pick up and leave me.

Seeing that she started a new family hurt worse than anything.

I guess I felt like she replaced me when I could’ve never done that to her.

“How did it go?” Mecca asked as soon as I walked back into the house.

“It didn’t, I left.” I glanced over at her as she was folding the couch throw. I took a seat and put my head in my hands.

“Why? You want me to slap her old ass?” She took a seat in front of me on the wooden table. I could feel her peering at me, waiting on my answer.

“Nah it ain’t that, I just didn’t need her explanation like I thought I needed it.

Hearing anything that she needed to say wouldn’t do shit for me because I couldn’t get her logic.

She said if she would’ve stayed it would’ve killed her.

But what about me, Mec? Did she give a fuck how leaving me with that man would’ve affected me? ”

She didn’t respond which prompted me to look up and into her eyes. She looked pissed like she wanted to physically put hands on my mama. Out of nowhere I started laughing. “I ain’t ya kid, Mecca. I’m ya nigga, yeen gotta go fight my battles.”

“Yeen gotta be my kid, when I see you visibly upset that makes me wanna go beat somebody's ass.”

“Glad to see you ‘ont wanna only put them hands on me, but what the fuck am I supposed to say about shit like this?” I asked. My mind was still on my mother.

“Nothing because it doesn’t deserve energy. As much as I’d like to put hands on your mom, I think one day you guys will actually have that talk. Right now you weren’t ready and that’s understandable.”

I looked up at her and nodded, before pulling her onto my lap. Regardless of what she was saying, I was gonna internalize this shit before I mentally dealt with it. it was a me thing and she knew that shit already. Seconds later, I rested my hand on her stomach. “How is my son treating you?”

“Like shit, but I’ll live.” She shrugged. Mecca was dramatic. The smallest shit was big when it came to her.

I laughed. “Your ass is so fucking dramatic. My baby ain’t even doing shit to you crazy ass girl.”

She sucked her teeth. “How are you gonna tell me what’s going on with my body? Do you know what I feel? Do you have ovaries and an alien in your gut?” She asked.

“Hell nah, but I know you be?—”

“Stop while you’re ahead, nigga.” She turned and kissed before she hopped up to walk over into the kitchen. “You hungry?”

I couldn’t help but smile at her because as bad as I wanted to talk shit to her, I didn’t feel like beefing. She was right, I was definitely gonna stop while I was ahead.

I ended up chilling around the house with Mecca for a while until Quari and I had some shit to handle. No matter how bad I wanted to lay up and chill, I couldn’t. I wasn’t even built like that.

“We’re doing dinner tonight at Love and Quari’s place.” She responded as I walked around the bedroom gathering my stuff to leave. I knew Quari’s impatient ass would be calling me and telling me he was downstairs any minute.

“Cool make sur?—”

“Whatever is cooked has red meat in it. Turkey isn’t that bad, Kasair.” She mugged me from her spot in the bed.

“I bet it ain’t but, I know what I got a taste for unless sis is making some of her chili then I could possibly deal with the turkey.” I shrugged.

Mecca laughed just as my phone started going off on the other side of the room . I just knew it was Quari’s overly rushing ass. When I walked over toward the dresser where my phone was, I saw that it was indeed Quari’s ass.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“Come down and bring me a bottle of Gatorade.”

“Nigga, yeen got shit to drink at ya house?” I asked, screwing my face up.

“Yeah, I do, but I wanted to drink yo shit up like you do mine.” He hung up before I could respond.

I shook my head and put my phone into my back pocket before looking over at Mecca who was no longer in the bed. Instead she was standing near the washroom doorway holding my sweatshirt.

“Please be safe, Love told me about Quari’s?—”

“Here I am telling you the same fucking thing that I’m pretty sure he told her. Stop worrying about shit that shouldn’t be on your head.”

She looked me over before nodding her head. “Don’t bring your ass in my house leaking or I swear we’ll be scrapping next, nigga.” Then she tossed me hoodie and walked off. That was typical Mecca shit. She couldn’t be too nice for too long.

I laughed as I pulled my hoodie on and followed her. “Was that a warning or something, Mec?”

“Take it how you want to.”

I didn’t even respond, I walked over and pulled her into me before I pressed my lips against her forehead then her lips. She could be tough all she wanted with her nutty ass.

Seconds later I had grabbed Quari’s myself and Quari a Gatorade before I left the crib. Once I got down stairs and hopped into this nigga’s jeep I gave him the side eye before passing him his drink.

“Fuck you get me the orange one for?” He asked as he pulled into traffic.

“Picky ass nigga. I just grabbed whatever.” I laughed.

“Only serial killers drink this color.”

I busted out laughing. “Yo ass must not be getting none at home. Ya too fucking grouchy.”

“Fuck outta here.” He stopped at the red light and looked over at me. “You get that info on old girl from Mazz?”

“He sent it this morning. She lives on Flournoy in some big pink ass building. I mapped that shit out, you can’t miss the big tacky ass house.” I rested back against his seats. “How does your shoulder feel?”

“Fuck you worried for? I can still pull.”

I laughed. His ass was snappy as fuck, just like Mecca. Everybody in my life was on some annoyed shit today. “I’m just checking on ya stupid ass.”

He smirked. “It’s straight, I don’t think I got my lick back good enough off that lil nigga.”

A deep chuckle escaped my lips. “Nah, you had the lil nigga leaking before he left. Shit, he almost pissed his pants.”

He nodded his head.

“I went to meet with Earline this morning.”

He cut his eyes in my direction. “Am I supposed to know who that is with that bad south ass name?”

“My mama.”

“Aw damn, she should’ve gotten that changed when she was younger. But how did that go?” he glanced my way.

“It didn’t. I couldn’t sit there and let that lady gimme all these excuses about her own turmoil when she didn’t take into account mine.”

He nodded.

“Right here.” I pointed as we pulled a few houses down from the house I was talking about.

“I mean I get what you saying and yeen wrong at all but you only get one of those.”

“Right and she left me. I grew up and went through all those milestones without her, what do I need her now for?”

“You right, but think about that shit bro. Don’t shun a conversation you’ll regret not having when it isn’t possible anymore.”

I nodded, taking in what he was saying before I looked around and spotted old girl, or I think I did. “Ain’t that shorty right there?” I asked pointing.

“Look like it.” Quari squinted his eyes.

“How are we finna get the bitch in the car?” I asked. We were in the middle of a two way in broad daylight.

“Like this.” He was loading his gun. He sped up a little so he could catch her before she went in her gate.

Before I knew it, he was in the opposite driving lane and we’d pulled up beside her.

He let the window down and aimed the gun in her direction, “Aye bitch, get in the car before I pop ya fucking skull.”

She stood frozen, looking at him.

“Don’t try to run, I got a good ass aim. Your brain will be on the fucking ground before yo’ right foot gets the signal to try.”

Now for sure I thought this bitch was gonna drop all her shit and run, but she didn’t.

She threw her hands up in surrender and started toward the car making us think she was about to get in.

Too bad she thought she was smart and tried to run behind the car.

Quari was quicker than her though. He reversed the car and I heard a loud thud before he parked the car.

We both got out of the car and her dumb ass was lying on the ground unconscious.

“How did you know you’d knock her unconscious?” I asked as he popped the trunk and threw her ass in like a lightweight.

“I didn’t. Watch my back while I subdue her. You know this is a dangerous ass neighborhood.”

“What type of hood nigga uses the word subdue?” I looked around while he did what he had to do.

“Nigga one who has a fiancé in college. I’m tryna broaden my horizon, you should too.” Before I knew it he was slamming the trunk shut and walking toward the front of the car. Once we were back in the car, this nigga drove off without a care in the world.