Page 92 of He Is My Bride

“It doesn’t make sense for you to pay so much for all this space. I don’t mind moving houses, I don’t have that much stuff.”

“I can pay two-thirds?”

“Hanjun, it’s not about how much exactly either of us will lose money! It’s about being smart.”

“Your comfort is most important.”

Li Ying sighed. “Oh, Hanjun. What if I don’twantto stay here?” When Hanjun said nothing, Li Ying explained, “Everything here reminds me of you. This was the home we used to share, and now you’re not here. I want to start this long-distance thing fresh somewhere else. Somewhere where I’m not constantly reminded I’m only waiting to start my life together with you.”

“I understand.”

“I’m probably going to stay at one of the university dormitories, I just have to apply.”

“Don’t apply yet. Give me two days.”

“To do what? Hanjun, I forbid you to buy anything! Rent at most, and even then, nothing too big. At this point I would just appreciate it if it’s within an hour’s commute from the campus and not a damn rat hole. I know this is New York and that’s a lot to ask, but—”

“You will be comfortable.” Hanjun’s tone left no room for dispute.

“Okay, just don’t go crazy with it or I’ll be mad at you.”

“I won’t. Do you want to talk?”

“What time is it there, like half-past six?”

“Mm, I have time.”

They talked for a while and Li Ying felt better. He watched the sun paint the tops of the high-rises around with its pale gold outside the window. It looked like hope.

Dreading loneliness, Li Ying called Amy right after hanging up with Hanjun. To talk with his foster-sister and hear how she had beendoing, of course, but also so that he didn’t need to settle down alone with his thoughts just yet.

Li Ying talked with Amy for a good while, and they agreed he should come and visit on New Year’s Day tomorrow. It was something comforting to look forward to, although Li Ying would also have to prepare to dodge and get around some questions the Qians would inevitably ask.

Speaking of dodging questions, Li Ying reluctantly removed the ring from his finger and stored it away in the drawer of his bedside table.

By evening, Li Ying felt okay enough to say yes to an invitation to go out and celebrate the solar New Year with some of his old friends. To be honest, it was another welcome distraction. He asked Anne along, but she said she was still too jet-lagged to party. Fair enough.

Li Ying felt odd being out and aboutnotdonned in fake boobs and a layer of makeup and his junk hanging free. It was obviously more comfortable and freeing for a change, and while Li Ying found himself missing his feminine clothes already, he felt just as much himself in a pair of black jeans and a band tee, with his trusty leather jacket thrown on top.

Li Ying and his friends had a blast, boozing and dancing and following the countdown to the Times Square ball drop around midnight. Coming home late, Li Ying was too tired to care that he started the solar year sleeping alone.

The next morning, Li Ying was in too much of a stupor to comprehend his loneliness at first. He only knew that vague sense of doom as he became conscious and realized he was about to have another rough morning. Only when he’d forced himself to get up to take a leak did the emptiness of the house begin to oppress him, along with a fresh headache.

Li Ying wanted to call someone, go somewhere, anywhere with people, noise, distraction, but he was also feeling too sick to do anything but order a pizza and eat it with shaky hands, curled up on the couch watching TV. His phone rang: Amy.

“Hi big sis, what’s up?”

“Hi A-Ying, grandmother wants to know if you’re eating dinner with us?”

…Right.Li Ying had almost forgotten he had made appointments for today. “You bet. Uh, just a heads up: I’m feeling a bit unwell today.”

“Did you have fun last night?” Amy sounded amused. It was classic Li Ying, wasn’t it.

“Heck yeah, but I’m paying the price now, haha…”

“Grandma’s cooking will fix you right up, I’ll help her make the Dan Dan noodles, is that alright?”

Li Ying raised his hand up. “Hallelujah.”