Page 40 of He Is My Bride
“Some champagne for you, miss?” The flight attendant approached Li Ying with a glass and a bottle of bubbly.
Li Ying lowered his large sunglasses, behind which he had been hiding his cried out, tired eyes. “No thank you, miss. Actually, I’m feeling like a ginger beer and a bag of pretzels, if you catch my drift?” Hungover and sad as he still was, Li Ying even managed to pull a grin at this point.
The attendant understood the assignment and returned with the soft drinks, two bags of pretzels, and extra amenities.
After Li Ying’s and Hanjun’s painful goodbyes, all the airport proceedings had gone in a blur for Li Ying, though the process had been smooth because they were traveling in first class, courtesy of Hanjun’s bottomless wallet.
It was a long flight and nowhere nearly as comfortable as a private jet though.
Li Ying figured he had already become spoiled rotten.
Li Ying browsed through the film selection on the entertainment unit and decidedly avoided anything romantic, or he just might bawl again. He managed to distract himself with a thriller and the free-flowing snacks until he tilted down his seat and fell into uneasy sleep .
Li Ying arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport early the next morning on the solar New Year’s Eve.
He was so tired he didn’t know if he was still hungover or just jet-lagged.
Li Ying returned to his and Hanjun’s old home, completely numb mentally and emotionally.
Standing in the dim hallway, he put aside his luggage and kicked off his shoes.
“I’m home.” His lonely voice echoed in the empty house. ‘Welcome home.’ Li Ying imagined Hanjun responding.
Hanjun had messaged Li Ying, telling him to call him when he got home, so Li Ying dialed his number. Hanjun picked up immediately.
“Hey, baby.” Li Ying found himself smiling just knowing Hanjun could hear his voice again.
“Hi, love.” Hanjun’s soft voice spoke over the line.
“It feels so good to hear your voice, though it’s been, what, less than twenty-four hours?”
“Mm. How was your flight?”
They talked, Li Ying wandering around the house looking for something, not knowing what, until he realized he was looking for his cigarettes out of habit. He stopped walking around and instead opened his laptop because he and Hanjun had begun talking about Li Ying’s living arrangements.
“I mean, I don’t need all this space,” Li Ying said, “and I feel bad living in a house your uncle has paid for, you know?”
“I called the brokerage and asked for options,” Hanjun said.
“What, when? Junjun has been busy.” Li Ying scrolled through advertisements for rental apartments that would actually be in his price range, and nothing was anywhere near ideal: too small or way too far, public health hazards, shared apartments…
Li Ying had begun looking at the university dormitories as the most viable option when Hanjun said:
“They said it might interest a buyer looking for investment properties if a current resident stayed as a tenant. You might be able to stay, and I could help you pay the rent. ”
“It doesn’t make sense for you to pay so much for all this space. I don’t mind moving houses, I don’t have that much stuff.”
“I can pay two-thirds?”
“Hanjun, it’s not about how much exactly either of us will lose money! It’s about being smart.”
“Your comfort is most important.”
Li Ying sighed. “Oh, Hanjun. What if I don’t want to stay here?
” When Hanjun said nothing, Li Ying explained, “Everything here reminds me of you. This was the home we used to share, and now you’re not here.
I want to start this long-distance thing fresh somewhere else.
Somewhere where I’m not constantly reminded I’m only waiting to start my life together with you. ”
“I understand.”
“I’m probably going to stay at one of the university dormitories, I just have to apply.”
“Don’t apply yet. Give me two days.”
“To do what? Hanjun, I forbid you to buy anything! Rent at most, and even then, nothing too big. At this point I would just appreciate it if it’s within an hour’s commute from the campus and not a damn rat hole. I know this is New York and that’s a lot to ask, but—”
“You will be comfortable.” Hanjun’s tone left no room for dispute.
“Okay, just don’t go crazy with it or I’ll be mad at you.”
“I won’t. Do you want to talk?”
“What time is it there, like half-past six?”
“Mm, I have time.”
They talked for a while and Li Ying felt better. He watched the sun paint the tops of the high-rises around with its pale gold outside the window. It looked like hope.
Dreading loneliness, Li Ying called Amy right after hanging up with Hanjun. To talk with his foster-sister and hear how she had been doing, of course, but also so that he didn’t need to settle down alone with his thoughts just yet.
Li Ying talked with Amy for a good while, and they agreed he should come and visit on New Year’s Day tomorrow. It was something comforting to look forward to, although Li Ying would also have to prepare to dodge and get around some questions the Qians would inevitably ask.
Speaking of dodging questions, Li Ying reluctantly removed the ring from his finger and stored it away in the drawer of his bedside table.
By evening, Li Ying felt okay enough to say yes to an invitation to go out and celebrate the solar New Year with some of his old friends. To be honest, it was another welcome distraction. He asked Anne along, but she said she was still too jet-lagged to party. Fair enough.
Li Ying felt odd being out and about not donned in fake boobs and a layer of makeup and his junk hanging free.
It was obviously more comfortable and freeing for a change, and while Li Ying found himself missing his feminine clothes already, he felt just as much himself in a pair of black jeans and a band tee, with his trusty leather jacket thrown on top.
Li Ying and his friends had a blast, boozing and dancing and following the countdown to the Times Square ball drop around midnight. Coming home late, Li Ying was too tired to care that he started the solar year sleeping alone.
The next morning, Li Ying was in too much of a stupor to comprehend his loneliness at first. He only knew that vague sense of doom as he became conscious and realized he was about to have another rough morning.
Only when he’d forced himself to get up to take a leak did the emptiness of the house begin to oppress him, along with a fresh headache .
Li Ying wanted to call someone, go somewhere, anywhere with people, noise, distraction, but he was also feeling too sick to do anything but order a pizza and eat it with shaky hands, curled up on the couch watching TV. His phone rang: Amy.
“Hi big sis, what’s up?”
“Hi A-Ying, grandmother wants to know if you’re eating dinner with us?”
…Right. Li Ying had almost forgotten he had made appointments for today. “You bet. Uh, just a heads up: I’m feeling a bit unwell today.”
“Did you have fun last night?” Amy sounded amused. It was classic Li Ying, wasn’t it.
“Heck yeah, but I’m paying the price now, haha…”
“Grandma’s cooking will fix you right up, I’ll help her make the Dan Dan noodles, is that alright?”
Li Ying raised his hand up. “ Hallelujah. ”
Kai came to pick up Li Ying in his car, a BMW 4 Series.
“‘Sup.” Li Ying climbed into the passenger’s seat after throwing his bags of presents and souvenirs in the back. “New car?”
“Yeah, it’s not your friend’s Bentley but it drives. How was Shanghai?”
“Good, but to be honest, Chinese Christmas was lame. I’m going back for Lunar New Year’s, that’s probably gonna be better.”
“What?” Kai glanced at Li Ying before looking left and right upon turning back to the road. “Not spending it with your family?”
“Aww, is my baby brother upset?” Li Ying teased.
“You got a taste of the high life and forget about us?” Kai’s tone was such that it was hard to say if he was serious or jesting, but Li Ying knew his foster brother: there was always a hidden meaning in his jabs.
Whether it was because he actually loved Li Ying like a real brother and it was part of the deal, or whether he was just being mean, it was hard to say .
Li Ying thought he and Kai had been close growing up, but lately they felt more and more distant, like they had ceased to understand each other somewhere along the way. Li Ying wondered which one of them had changed.
“Kai, this is the high life, and this is a damn nice car. But since Hanjun offered to host me again, I’d like to go back and see what the New Year is like in the mainland.”
“Hmm, right.”
“I mean, I get that Uncle Qian and Grandma and Amy will probably be upset that I’m not home for, yeah, for the most important family celebration of the year.
Okay, I totally get it, but you know, it’s not like…
I mean, I’m kinda just ambivalently part of the family, right? So what if I miss it once?”
Kai said nothing at first, but Li Ying could see he was not happy. All he finally said was, “Right.”
Li Ying was quiet in turn until asking carefully, “Would you want me to be there?”
“Do as you want,” Kai said bluntly. “Just consider that Wu Hanjun may have offered to host you again out of politeness. Don’t make yourself a burden to him just because you want fancier parties.”
“Hey!” That hurt. “When have you known me to prefer a posh party to a night at the club?”
Kai shrugged. After a while he asked, “So, how fancy are the Wus? Driving a car like that, I’d say Wu Hanjun’s family is pretty well off, and that apartment you’re still hanging in isn’t cheap either.”
“They’re… comfortable. But you know, so are the Qians. And it’s not like I hang out with Hanjun because of his money.” Li Ying quirked a brow at Kai.
“I didn’t say you were.”
“Hmm, no, you didn’t.” But you thought about it. Li Ying didn’t want to argue with Kai though, it usually just led to them fighting, and he was too tired to do that now .