Page 145 of He Is My Bride

But Li Ying,Hanjun thought as the rain began pattering the windshield,I have always loved the hoodlum of a man that you are...

And Hanjun believed that inside his heart, Li Ying would always be a little rascal. There would always be that twinkle in his eye, that playfulness to his smile that Hanjun loved so much that it would kill him to see it gone.

But was tying Li Ying down to the Shanghai high-society life going to destroy his spirit, eventually? Like it had destroyed Hanjun’s mother’s spirit?

Can I truly make you happy here?Hanjun felt how fragile a thread was keeping his world together, and he was too afraid of the answer, how it might unravel both of their resolve to ask that question out loud.

So Hanjun just listened to Li Ying talk, and now it sounded like the man was just trying to convince himself:

“I’m sure I can find ways to have fun here! I’m not going to be just Uncle Yiheng’s political tool. Of course, youwork in the company and will be heading it one day, so it will be in my interest to see Wu Pharma thrive as well, so I will do my best to make myself useful. I just hope I don’t have to get into marketing as Uncle Yiheng suggested.”

“You shouldn’t give up on your dreams for the company’s sake.” Hanjun’s words rang hollow in his own ears. Wasn’t that exactly what he was asking Li Ying to do from the very beginning?

“Well, it’s not like Uncle Yiheng can withdraw his blessing once we are already married, so what is he going to do about it if I decide not to become his international trade puppet once the ink is dry? I’m sure he can still make my life miserable if I don’t lend myself for the family’s benefitsomehow, but perhaps as a doctor I can apply myself in some way that appeases him.”

“You should do what you want with your career. I won’t let Uncle Yiheng bully you.”

“Thanks, Hanjun.” Li Ying gently caressed his thigh. “He just ought to be happy we’ll have children to keep the Wangs’ sticky paws off the Wus’ shares, and everything else is a bonus.”

“…Mm.”

“Anyway, big changes are coming in a year and a half, and all of it just got me thinking about things, you know. But I’m happy I will be spending the rest of my life with you!”

“It was never a question.”

Only a question of the terms under which they would marry, and Hanjun thought the terms were not looking good for Li Ying right now. They were all Hanjun’s terms.

“Yeah, but it’s better this way,” Li Ying said, “when you don’t have to give up your father’s legacy or risk breaking any ties. Or me having to be a mistress, hehe! After all, you have more to lose than I.”

Was it really true, Hanjun wondered. Li Ying still had a family of his own, had a life of his own that he was giving up for his sake.

Hanjun felt souglyinside, so selfish, but he was too afraid of losing Li Ying, so all he could do was thank him over and over in his head, for being so much stronger than him.

Li Ying just smiled at him so genuinely, without a hint of grudge or bitterness while he was giving up everythingfor him.

Meanwhile Hanjun, just like his father, was making no compromise for the one he claimed to love, dooming them to a life that didn’t look like them.

I’m a terrible person!Hanjun stared at the gray, rain-soaked road ahead of him.

Chapter 31:ThePerfect Plan

Li Ying returned to New York with a heart full of hope and expectations, as well as fears and doubts. It tore at him, but was there any question he would marry Hanjun?

Of course not!

Li Ying pushed off any thoughts to the contrary. His life would change drastically, but he had to believe everything would work out in the end.

—

Luckily there was so much to do between his rotations and exams that Li Ying got plenty to take his mind off his worries.

He finally began his internship at the department of pathology.

Li Ying gave it his everything, although he knew he didn’t need to kiss so much ass since he would never be employed there, even if it had once been his singular dream. He was starting to accept that as ‘Madam Wu’ he couldn’t become a pathologist.

It would be unseemly, wouldn’t it?Li Ying thought while revving up the electric saw and opened the ribcage of a cadaver under his supervisor’s watchful eye.

LiYing had expected more blood to spray with such a tool. How disappointing. There was not even a drizzle on his visor. The blood must have been too dried up by now.