Page 38 of Hat Trick (Titans Hockey #1)

It's well into evening as the party wraps up and Nancy's the last to leave. We're on the front porch with Carter and Annie when she pulls me in for a fierce hug.

"I'm so grateful Carter has you. It's about time he got his head out of his ass and claimed you. You might be the best thing that's ever happened to him." She pulls back, holding me by the shoulders, as she stares into my stunned face.

I go to argue with her, but she shakes her hand dismissively. She gives Carter a kiss on the cheek before leaving. I love this version of Nancy. When I first met her, she was quiet, shy, scared, and folded in on herself. This Nancy is bold, brazen, and speaks her mind .

"What did she mean...?" I ask Carter, watching as Nancy backs out of the driveway.

He chuckles. "The first day she met you and Annie, she wanted you for me. Said you were perfect for me." I gasp before looking up into his blue eyes.

He pulls me against him. "If I remember correctly, she said 'I want that for you. I want romance, butterflies, falling in love.'"

My breath catches in my throat, and I have to choke back emotions.

"She did?"

Carter moves up back into the house and toes the front door shut behind him. "She did. She saw exactly who you are, and exactly how perfect you are for me, even when I was still fighting it."

He stalks towards me, a sleepy Annie in his arms, until we're in my bedroom.

Naturally, the focus shifts to Annie. Together, we bathe her, read her a story, and put her to bed.

But the sexual tension between us never lets up.

We're reading the wheels on the bus, but both of us are thinking about what it will be like to finally be together.

To finally feel him press inside of me. To finally give in to what our bodies have been screaming for for months.

When she finally nods off, Carter silently turns the light off, grabs the baby monitor and my hand, before leading me to his room.

"I've tried, Emily." He says, shutting the door behind us. This snick of the latch sounds like a gunshot and my breathing increases. His voice has lowered an octave, and I don't trust my own voice to question him.

"I've tried to be good. I've tried to resist you because you were my employee.

I tried to resist you because you're important to Annie.

I've tried to resist you because I can't be the man you deserve right now.

" He walks me back against his bed until the back of my knees hit the mattress and I fall.

Carter falls with me.

"But I can't."

My stomach drops to my toes. He can't what?

"I can't be good anymore. I need you, Emily.

I need you with every inch of my soul. You didn't just take a job; you took my heart and soul with it.

I can't imagine my life without you in it.

And I know that's selfish, but goddamnit, Emily, you're the only person in the world who has ever told me it's okay to be selfish.

So, you know what? You're my selfish. I'm selfish enough to want you all to myself. "

His words spill out of him while he kisses me, my neck, my collarbone, my sternum.

I lace my fingers through his hair to hold him close.

Every word he says is a balm to my damaged ego.

Carter Rhodes wants me. Not for my looks, but because of who I am to him.

The damaged parts of me want to reject it, but the broken-hearted part of me wants to believe it.

Wants to believe that I could be wanted by someone as amazing as Carter.

My mind and my emotions are a jumbled mess.

Instead of dealing with any of them, I pull him down to me and kiss him.

We've kissed before, but it's been rushed, and sudden, and public.

This kiss is slow, lazy, a we-have-all-night kiss and I've never quite experienced anything like it.

Gabe's kisses are fire, burning, need, consuming.

Luca's kisses are promising, flirtatious, light.

This kiss? This kiss is the big bang. The beginning, middle, and the end of the universe. Every atom of every cell of my body aligns itself to this kiss. I have a thought that I could ignore the rest of the world, if I could live in this kiss.

Carter pulls away, though, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Fuck, Emily. I'm trying so hard to be good."

And I know what he means. I can feel the need, the desire. It's anxious, needy, primal. And sweet kisses aren't going to do it.

"Then don't be good, tonight, Carter."

His eyes flash to mine. I can tell his control is fraying. Carter. My always-in-control Team Captain, my control freak. For once I want to see him let go. For once I want him to know it's okay for him to let go.

I'm on my back in his bed, but still fully clothed. "What do you need? I'm yours. Let me give it to you."

For a half a second he looks at me like he doesn't believe me. Then the beast surfaces. And I grin.

He threads his fingers through mine and pins my hands to the sides of my head.

"Don't. Fucking. Move."

I shiver. Carter's dominance in the bedroom is intoxicating. I know he's one for control outside of the bedroom, but being able to give it to him inside of the bedroom feels like a specific kind of privilege.

"I won't." I whisper.

He makes quick work of my clothes and his, until he's hovering over me, naked, my hands still stuck to the sides of my head.

"Em, I can't..." In an instant I understand. He wants this to be good for me. He wants to get me off 100 times before he does .

"Please." I beg, the tortured look in his eye is enough. "Please, Carter. Please fuck me. I need it." I risk it and wrap my arms around his shoulder, my legs wrapping around his hips and pulling him closer.

He closes his eyes, wincing in pain.

I run my thumb over the wrinkle in his brow.

"Next time, I promise, you can be gentle.

Right now, I need rough. I need you. I need everything you need to give me.

" I'm desperate for him. I'm desperate to let loose these emotions and feelings we've been repressing for months. I don't need gentle. I need raw.

And that's enough. That permission to do it the way he thinks it should be done next time, is enough to unleash the beast. He slams his hips forward, quads meeting my glutes.

And I strangle a scream. The size of him, stealing the breath from my lungs.

He's thick, and the stretch is painful, but exactly what I need.

This thing has been building between us since he first walked into the daycare center.

Fuck, for me it started years before that when he was the star in all of my self-care sessions.

To finally be here, experiencing the brutal exquisite punishment that is Carter Rhodes, is overwhelming.

To feel his skin under my hands, his weight on top of me.

It's more than I could ever imagine. Unbidden, tears fall from my eyes.

He groans, pressing his forehead to my temple.

"Fuck, baby girl, you feel so goddamn good." He hasn't moved yet, giving me time to adjust to his size, but his entire body is vibrating with repressed need.

"Carter," I choke out.

"Fuck! Em!" He shouts. The final ounce of his control vanishing.

He snakes one arm beneath one knee and folds it to my shoulder, while pushing my other leg straight down between his, before setting a punishing rhythm.

His hips slam into mine at a primal rate.

The angle pushes him deeper than I've ever experienced, and each punishing thrust slams into my G-spot.

I gasp and whine. He grunts and groans. My orgasm starts fast and sharp in my lower belly and I know I won't last.

"Fuck. Baby girl. Not gonna last. Need you." He grunts out between thrusts.

"Yes! Yes!" I shout. It's the only word I can remember. I'm vaguely aware of digging my nails into his back, of grasping at him. My subconscious trying to get him closer, to envelope him inside of me, body and soul.

"Fuck. Em. Come for me." His voice is low and possessed and full of urgent need.

And it's enough to push me over the wave.

My orgasm breaks with a cry, my toes curling, back arching, mouth open in a silent scream.

He gives me two more brutal thrusts before he stills, his cock swells and he spills into me.

We're still for a few, long moments, catching our breaths. He releases the leg that was bent to my shoulder before collapsing on top of me.

"Ugh. You're too heavy." I grunt, trying to push him off of me.

He chuckles before rolling to the side of me, his arm and leg still draped over me, possessively. His forehead remains pressed to my temple. We bask together in our post-orgasm glow until our breathing evens out and the sweat begins to dry.

"Fuck. Emily. I love you so fucking much." He whispers into my ear, peppering sweet kisses along my cheek and jaw. I freeze. I know you can't trust what a guy says during sex, but this is after. After a mind-blowing orgasm, sure, but did he mean it ?

He takes my chin in his hand, the way he likes to, and turns my face to face his.

"I know you're not there, yet. But I want you to know.

I'm ready when you are. I think I've loved you since the first day you took my panicked and petrified ass and helped me.

You were there for me unlike anyone I've ever met.

I think I've been falling in love with you since that day, no matter how hard I tried not to.

" He gives me a quick kiss on my lips before more tears leak out.

He gives me a warm smile before wiping them away with his thumb.

"I just want you to know where I'm at. And whenever you're ready to catch up, I'll be here waiting." He flops onto his back with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. He tugs me closer to him, wrapping his arm around me and bringing my head to rest on his hard chest.

Besides his heart hammering under his chest, he's the picture of relaxation. Content smile, eyes closed, breathing even. While my mind races a hundred miles an hour.

All three of my guys have confessed to loving me in one shape or form. Gabe, making love to me the other night. Luca calling me his future wife.

But what about me? Do I love them, too? I'm sure that I do, but something is holding me back, keeping me from admitting to them that I love them.

I try to catalogue my racing emotions. I don't feel worthy of their love.

I'm afraid if I say it out loud, it'll hurt more when.

..whatever this is...eventually ends. Because it has to end, right?

There's no happily-ever-after with one woman and three men, right?

Would they share me forever? I'd have three boyfriends?

Three husbands? What would the team think?

What would the public think? Oh God, the paparazzi and gossip bloggers would have a field day.

What about our families? What would my dad and brother think?

I don't even know Gabe's family. Luca's family knows about me, but not that I'm involved with the other two. God, this is a fucking nightmare.

"Your thoughts are too loud, baby girl." Carter rumbles sleepily, kissing my hair. "Worry about everything tomorrow. Right now, right here, it's just you and me."

I take a shaky breath in and let it out. Right here, right now. I let my fingers play with Carter's soft chest hair. I listen to his breathing. I smell the unique citrus scent that is Carter. I feel the warmth of him against my naked skin.

"Better." He smiles before dragging the comforter up over us. "Good night, baby girl." He whispers before his breathing evens out.

It is a good tonight. But what about tomorrow?