Page 19 of Hat Trick (Titans Hockey #1)

Chapter seventeen

Carter

L iving in Charlotte, North Carolina means we're too far from a beach to enjoy a beach day. And while our season is mostly in Winter, it's still warm enough at the start to enjoy a day on the river. On one of our rare days off, one of the wives organized a family river day.

I park my truck in the gravel parking lot and open the back door for Annie and Emily.

Em's looking sinfully good in a short sundress over her bathing suit.

Focus Roadie. Fucking focus. Annie's in a one-piece with a frilly tutu like thing across her chubby midsection and a wide-brimmed hat.

Emily insisted on it because Annie inherited Cedar's pale skin.

I grab the chairs and bag from the back of my truck and followed Emily, carrying Annie, to where the rest of the team has already gathered on the sandy bank.

This river isn't naturally sandy, but the local town trucked in sand to make it an attraction. The river is wide here, and mostly waist-deep except for a few deep spots.

A cluttering of chairs and wives and kids dotted the beach.

Clusters of players kicked a soccer ball around or threw a football to each other.

A game of chicken is happening in the water, girls perched on top of their boyfriend's shoulders.

Novy's manning a grill, cooking hotdogs and hamburgers.

The smell of charcoal and cooked meat a welcome smell.

I greet Novy and Daniel, and Kenny and find an empty spot of beachline to set our things down in .

Luca and Gabe find us, flicking open their folding chairs as well and placing them around us.

Emily takes a large blanket from the bag and spreads it out in front of the chairs, obviously for her and Annie.

I love watching her work when she thinks I'm not looking.

The soft curves of her body, her mousey-brown hair, the tenderness and soft smiles she holds for my daughter.

My heart skips a beat and flutters against my chest. For a moment I lose myself in a fantasy.

My wife, in a sundress and bathing suit, with my daughter.

That's how things are supposed to work out.

Not that I had a wife or a child on my radar until after I retired.

But some men did. It should be my wife coming to family day with me, not my nanny.

Although, of course it should be Emily. She's as much a part of the family as Annie.

Emily and Annie blow each other kisses and laugh. Em looks up at me and smiles.

For a brief, bitter moment, I wish I hadn't ever slept with Cedar. I wished it had been Emily I'd knocked up. Emily, the mother of my child. I'd love her. Make an honest woman out of her. If I'd been casually sleeping with Emily and she got pregnant I'd have made her my wife.

But it wasn't. And that's okay (I try to convince myself).

Emily's a great nanny, and absolutely part of the family.

But then the darker part of my soul pipes up and reminds me that she won't be here forever.

She wants to get her degree and start another career.

I can already imagine the day she leaves us.

How Annie's heart will break. How my heart will break.

How had Emily already become such an important part of my life?

It was more than just her helping to take care of Annie.

It's her. Her steady support. Her confidence in me.

Her calm. She believes in me. And I know I can lean on her for anything.

She's already proven to me she'll be there for me with Annie, with my family drama, with hockey stress.

She's the pillar I can rely on. The one I didn't know I needed.

Emily picks up Annie and they head for the water. I'm up out of my chair before I realize what my feet are doing. I don't know if Annie's ever been in the water - a lake or a pool or anything other than a bath.

Emily senses me next to her and looks up and me and smile. Fuck, I'm addicted to this woman's smiles. She hands Annie off to me.

"Want to do the honors, Dad?"

I take Annie from her, holding her tiny body to my broad chest. I smile at her. She smiles at me. I wade deeper into the water while Emily follows.

The water touches Annie's feet and she pulls them up and squeals. I chuckle before retreating and putting her feet back in the water again.

Emily comes to my side, one hand wrapped around my lower back and one around Annie's. The touch of her skin on mine sends an electric current up my body. I want more. I want more of her skin on mine. I want to lay her beneath me, cover her with my weight, and worship her curves.

Fuck.

I can't get a boner while holding my daughter. I wade deeper in the water, hoping the cold helps to deflate my growing erection.

Annie giggles and I take my free hand to brush water over her exposed skin. I had no idea having a kid would be so rewarding. Every sensation, every new experience, I want to be there with her. I know logically, I can't, but because I hired Emily, I feel like I still am, if only by proxy.

We spend a long time in the water before retreating back to the shoreline. Emily grabs Annie's hands and starts to help her walk down the beach while Luca and Gabe collapse next to me in their chairs. They watch our two favorite girls go.

"Uh oh, I know that look." Luca teases me.

"What look?"

"The look that says, 'I'm falling for my nanny.'" I groan and rub my hand down my face.

"Fuck man, is it that obvious?"

Gabe chuckles darkly. "We would know. We have the look, too."

"I'm just so goddamn tired of trying to do the right thing. I want to be selfish for a day. I want to make her mine. To hell with the consequences."

"Man, we've been trying to keep it respectful for you, but if you tell us she's fair game?" Luca says, sitting up suddenly.

"I don't know, man. What if she doesn't want us like that? What if she only wants one and the other two have to watch her fall in love? What if shit hits the fan and she leaves us?"

"Number one, she does want us that way. You've seen the way she looks at us when she thinks we're not watching.

How she tries to avoid looking at us at all when we're shirtless.

And two, it's up to her how she wants to play this, but she won't know where we're at mentally if we don't talk to her about it.

And three, I can't imagine a scenario where she would ever leave that little girl.

She loves her, Carter. Even if it broke her heart, she'd stay. " Gabe pipes up, the voice of reason .

I let my mind wander as my eyes follow her.

She's so goddamn beautiful. What if it all blows up in my face?

But then what if it doesn't? What if I could have it all?

The amazing nanny, and a beautiful, thoughtful, caring girlfriend.

My heart aches with longing, and I feel a terrible weight on my chest. The image is just too fucking perfect.

Fuck it, I can't keep resisting her and fucking my fist to thoughts of her anymore. The mental picture I have of how good everything could be is too much to resist.

We'll talk to her tonight.

I watch it happen in slow motion. I watch as Emily holds both of Annie's hands, and they slowly walk, step-in-step down the beach.

I watch as the rookies toss a football. I watch as the football goes wild and sails over Emily.

I watch as a rookie reaches out, unaware that there's a woman and a small child in the way.

I watch as 200 pounds of hockey player barrels into my nanny and my daughter.

And I watch as Emily sees what's about to happen milliseconds before it does, hugs my daughter to her chest, and takes the brunt of the impact, landing hard on her knees.

I'm out of my chair the moment Luca and Gabe are and sprint down the beach.

"What the fuck!" I shout at the rookie, whose name I'm not even sure I know, shoving him hard with both hands. I'm torn between beating the shit out of him for being so reckless and making sure my girls are okay.

"I'm so, so sorry. Are you okay?" He asks Emily, trying to pick her up by her elbow. Her pained face is telling me how exactly not okay she is. I shove the rookie as hard as I can into the river. Fucking hell, that was my daughter and my nanny...my...Emily.

I reach for her and lift her to standing, still with Annie clutched to her chest. I look Annie over first. She's smiling and blissfully unaware that Emily's hurt.

I hand her off to Luca before assessing Emily.

Her knees are scrapped, and bleeding and she isn't breathing.

Fury rolls through my veins like a freight train.

"I'm okay," Emily says weakly. I'm shaking.

There are too many emotions rolling around inside me to handle right now.

"Just got the wind knocked out of me." She says, grimacing, but waving me off with her hand.

I scoop her up into my arms and walk her to the back of my truck, only setting her down to lower the tailgate.

I lift her so she's sitting on the tailgate.

"Jesus, Emily." I scold, although I'm not angry with her.

I can't tell how I'm feeling. I'm angry, scared, grateful, relieved.

I let out a breath slowly, pushing all of those emotions away so I can do what's right.

Her knees are scraped and bleeding and there are bits of rock and sand in the scrapes.

I find a bottle of water in the back seat and some napkins from the glovebox.

I grab her calf and lift her leg so I can pour the water on it.

"Hey," her soft voice above me says. "I'm okay." She holds my face in her hands and brings my gaze up to her. "I'm okay." She reiterates, now that she's got my attention.

"Fucking rookie." I growl.

"It was an accident. He didn't mean to run into me. Annie's fine. I'm fine. You can't protect us from everything."