Page 34 of Harbor Lights (Inishderry Island Romances #3)

TWENTY-THREE

Con observed Shiv as she slept. She’d fallen asleep in her arms, Con watching as the dark eyelashes fluttered closed.

She’d felt Shiv’s body completely relax at last. She’d wanted to kiss her then but, of course, she hadn’t.

She’d just held her, taking in every detail of her face.

Where had all these feelings come from? A tenderness she didn’t remember ever feeling for anyone.

Even back in the day with Majella, when she’d been filled with hormones and the excitement of being seen and liked for who she was, she’d never felt this need to utterly devote herself to someone.

That realization and the ache in her joints from lying in a strange position had forced her to move out of Shiv’s proximity and stretch her legs out on the leather recliner opposite.

From there, she’d watched over Shiv and kept the fire burning low all night.

She’d dozed on and off, but her head was full of cotton wool this morning, and she desperately wanted to try out the shiny coffee machine on the countertop.

But it looked noisy, and Shiv had been sleeping for nearly twelve hours.

She needed sleep more than Con needed coffee.

She squatted in front of the couch and took Shiv’s pulse.

It was back to normal, strong and regular.

Relief flooded her. When she ran her fingers over Shiv’s forehead, she stirred.

Con pulled back quickly. Had she been checking her temperature, or had that been a caress across Shiv’s uncreased brow?

Fuck . She needed to get a grip on this. She was a medical professional.

She stoked the low fire, moved back to her chair, and watched Shiv slowly awaken. She rubbed her face and looked around blearily, turning to the narrow space where Con had been lying when she dozed off last night.

“Hey there, Rip Van Winkle.” Con spoke softly and Shiv swiveled her head, with a look of something—relief? Then her expression turned to its more usual guarded frown.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Thirsty.” Shiv’s voice was gruff. Con wished fervently for a more appropriate opportunity to hear her morning voice.

She reached for the glass she’d left nearby, and Shiv sat up a little and gulped the contents.

Had she given Shiv enough fluids last night?

Perhaps if she hadn’t been staring into her eyes and making her tell stories of her life, she’d have been a better doctor.

The rational part of Con’s brain told her she’d been attentive and professional in her care, and their personal relationship was a separate thing. But beating herself up gave her a reason not to look too deeply into how she felt about Shiv. And right now, that was the easier option.

She took the empty glass and refilled it. “Coffee?”

Shiv took the glass, nodding enthusiastically. “God, yeah. All the coffee.”

Con busied herself in the kitchen area, aware of Shiv rising and stretching behind her. A low groan made her turn. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay.” Shiv gave a small smile. “My calf feels like it was in a car crash without me.”

“Where you had cramp?”

“Yeah.” Shiv bent to rub it.

“I’m afraid that might bother you for a few days. Violent cramps can cause your muscle all kinds of trouble. When you can bear the thought, ice will help.”

And massage. But she wasn’t going to offer.

She prepared the coffee how Shiv liked it and carried it to her. “I need to take your BP and pulse first, if you don’t mind.”

Shiv held out her arms, the sleeves of Tierney’s pajamas reaching to her fingertips. “I’m all yours.”

Con wished that was true. In her limited experience, people you loved were yours—until they were someone else’s and you were no one’s.

She shook her head and pulled her bag closer, settling on the couch next to Shiv.

Her pulse was still regular, although it raised a little as she took it.

She was sure her own heartbeat was audible as she tried to keep the process as businesslike as she could.

She dropped Shiv’s wrist as soon as she could. “All good there.”

She arranged the blood pressure monitor, and they both waited in silence for the cuff to inflate and then deflate. Keeping her eyes on the monitor readout felt safer than looking Shiv in the eye.

“Blood pressure’s normal, too.” She held out a thermometer. “Can you place that in your armpit for me?” Now Shiv was fully alert, there was no way she was going anywhere near the inside of those pajamas.

Oh, God, that sounds terrible.

She put her face into her hands and pretended to rub herself awake rather than suppress the need to groan at the situation she’d made for herself.

“Did you not sleep?” Shiv held out the thermometer, her brow wrinkled. “You could’ve slept in the bedroom.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I can catch up on sleep later.

” She was again glad the health center in town was covering her urgent appointments until the New Year, but it was expensive and she didn’t want her patients to get too accustomed to the shiny surroundings.

Shiv was right—she needed a nurse to work with her.

“Temperature’s back to normal. Good work!”

“I didn’t do anything other than lie in front of a fire. It was the excellent professional care that saved me.” Shiv grinned her rare cheeky grin.

“I’m not sure how professional some of it was, but you’re very welcome. It was my pleasure.” Pleasure indeed.

She reached for her coffee and took a long drink. How she’d missed it. But today wasn’t the time to worry about hot flashes. They might even help her keep her eyes open.

A knock at the door disturbed her thoughts. Shiv jumped up. “I’ll get it.”

As Shiv hobbled to the door, Con wondered just how painful her leg was.

“Hey, Denny, Pegeen. What have you brought?”

Shiv’s question was followed by a loud chattering and a clearer voice. “I cawwied them cause Peggy tried to eat them all.”

Shiv led the two children back into the room, followed by the tall figure of Joey.

Denny ran over to Con waving a large paper bag. “We brought you panny choc-lits.”

“Ooh, my favorite, thank you. Let’s get some plates.” She led the children to the kitchen area.

“Do not let them get their sticky little mitts on that pastry. Kasia will kill us if we wreck this place.” Joey eyed Denny before turning to Shiv.

“Good to see you back on your feet. You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. Much better.”

Con watched her stand awkwardly for a moment, one arm clasping the other.

“I’m sorry if I made things worse yesterday.” Shiv scratched at her elbow but kept her gaze on Joey. “I just saw that kid in the water, and I thought if I didn’t do something, he’d drown.”

Joey shook their head. “No, I understand why you acted. And you probably did save his life. The idiots got bored at their family holiday gathering and decided to steal a fishing boat from the harbor. It could’ve ended very badly.

It was just scary seeing you there in the water, with no life jacket.

And knowing what could’ve happened. I’m sorry I shouted. ”

Shiv smiled. “I don’t really remember much.”

Joey scooped her into a hug, which she returned with equal ferocity.

“Well, when you’re feeling up to it, there’s a bunch of very grateful parents who want to thank you.”

Con arranged the pastries on a plate. “Come and sit down. Joey, do you want tea?”

“I’ve got to get back.” Joey scooped up Pegeen in one arm and pulled a bag of white crystals from their pocket. “Kasia said you asked for these.”

“Ah, thank you.” Con shook the bag at Shiv. “Epsom salts. A bath with these should help your leg.”

“She said to tell you to stay here as long as you want, Shiv. Don’t rush back up to the cliffs.”

“I’ll go up and thank her later.” Shiv sat and picked up a pastry. “And, please, thank Marianne for these.”

Joey waved and shooed Denny ahead of them through the door, leaving Con and Shiv alone.

Shiv chewed on her pain au chocolat. “Does Marianne never stop?”

“She loves to cook. And her job has her in front of the camera a lot more now, so I think when she has downtime, it’s hard to get her out of the kitchen.”

“She’s running a cookie baking workshop for the kids in the Waterside kitchen over the holidays. I don’t get it, if I’m honest. Making a big deal of food. Just eat what you must to stay healthy. That’s the point of nutrition.”

Con thought not eating for enjoyment was a little sad. “You seem to be enjoying that pastry just fine.”

Shiv looked down at it. “It tastes amazing, but my breakfast shake would’ve been healthier.”

“Perhaps life is better when you mix the two.” She should listen to her own advice. Too much skipping breakfast and grabbing evening meals in the Harbor Bar had contributed to her current unfit state.

“Maybe you should help out with the cookies. Learn a new skill.”

Shiv quirked an eyebrow. “It’s not a skill I’m likely to need in the future, is it?”

A weight descended on Con. The future would take Shiv away from Inishderry—away from her. She’d go back to wandering the beach alone. She enjoyed Shiv’s company far too much; she needed to wean off it.

She jumped up and checked her watch. “Right. I’m going to run you a bath, then leave you to rest. I need to get back. I haven’t unpacked from my trip yet.”

Shiv blinked away an unreadable expression, then nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I forgot you only came over for a quick visit and got stuck here.”

“I’m glad I got here when I did. Otherwise, you’d have woken up this morning in the University Hospital.”

Shiv nodded, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Hey, I’ll be back later. Tierney’s made me promise I’ll come to whatever event she’s got planned for tonight.” She paused, then followed her heart, not the brain that thought it knew better. “Perhaps I could stay here, again. You can take advantage of the fire, and I’ll bunk up in the bedroom.”

Shiv’s head bobbed more enthusiastically. “Yeah, saves any unnecessary journeys if the weather turns bad.”

Something cracked in Con as she looked at Shiv’s hopeful face. What were they doing skirting around the obvious? It was exhausting.

She flopped down on the couch and faced Shiv. “This isn’t about the weather forecast, Siobhán.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose. “I want more than friendship, and I think you do, too.” There, it was out there.

Shiv’s mouth gaped for a moment. “But you said?—”

“I lied. Because I was afraid, and because it’s complicated. We want different things, you and me. But I’m sick of being scared. I want to explore this connection we have. I want to get to know you. All of you.” It was surprising how easily it all came out once she started.

Shiv continued to stare. She gulped a couple of times, then shuffled up the couch, still swathed in her blankets. “Can I kiss you?”

It was oh, so, tempting, but it wouldn’t be just one kiss.

Not after all the holding back. And Shiv had nearly drowned less than twenty-four hours ago.

Plus, Con was really feeling the effects of her sleepless night.

Her head was banging, and her eyes were gritty.

She wanted a few hours’ sleep before they had what felt like one of the most important conversations of her life.

She took Shiv’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Stay warm and get some rest. We’ll talk when I get back later, okay?”

Shiv nodded, but her gaze remained glued to Con’s face, as if searching for a clue as to what she was thinking.

“I’m sorry that came out of nowhere. I’ll be back soon.”

Con gathered her belongings and waved awkwardly as she left.

Shiv watched from her pile of throws. “Thank you again for last night. There’s no one I’d trust more to look after me.”

Con’s head was still spinning when she stood on the deck of the ferry, watching the mainland approaching. Had she done the right thing telling Shiv how she felt? The admission had made her desperate to escape, to think it through. It didn’t matter now; the truth was out and there was no going back.

She needed some sleep and a long bath. Then she’d be ready to talk to Shiv about what they both wanted. Above the swirl of uncertainty in her gut rose a cloud of heady anticipation. Everything between them had just shifted and she wanted to see where it led.