Page 27 of Harbor Lights (Inishderry Island Romances #3)

EIGHTEEN

“I didn’t realize you were going away for the holidays.

” Shiv didn’t try to hide her disappointment, even though it felt a little childish.

Con had turned up at her door just as she was about to go onto a call with her associates in the US.

Her phone had been buzzing silently while they talked, but now it turned out Con had just come to tell her she had other priorities.

Con rested a hand on her arm. “Hey, I told you I spend every Christmas with Majella and her family.”

“I thought you might have changed your plans this year, because of… ” Because of what? Me? Don’t be so dumb . “All the work we need to do on the building.”

That was lame. The days were so short and the weather so bad, they’d hardly done a thing since her granddad had sent the legal papers that signed over the shed and the small piece of land it stood on.

“Hey, I’ll be back before the new year. It’s only five days.”

The grip on her arm tightened and she pulled back. “Okay, do what you have to do.”

Con shrugged. “You’re right. I don’t know why I’m going. But it’s too late to pull out now. They sent me a photo of the goose.”

“What? Isn’t it a little soon?”

Con laughed a loud, hearty laugh. “Oh, it’s still alive. Running around in a field with some other geese. But they’ve chosen it, and we’re going to collect it after they pick me up from the airport.”

“Sounds delightful.” Shiv didn’t hide the sarcasm. She couldn’t see the appeal of selecting a healthy animal to be slaughtered for some holiday ritual.

“It’s what they do every year. There are a lot of holiday traditions in that family. I know them all by now.” Her voice trailed off and Shiv wondered if she really wanted to go.

“Do you enjoy it when you’re there?”

They were sitting in Shiv’s kitchen, which was more habitable now she’d fixed the roof properly, cleaned and repainted the cupboards and added some basic appliances. She’d thought about getting a wrap for the orange worktop, but it went well with the gray color scheme, and she liked the retro look.

Con was still silent, looking into her mug as though searching for answers. She looked up, her brows gathered over her green-blue eyes. “It’s all perfectly pleasant. They have a lovely house, they’re very generous, and I have nothing to complain about.”

“But?” Shiv got the feeling Con wanted to talk, but needed a prod.

“It’s fucking hard. It’s always been hard, but to begin with, I thought it was better than being alone, even though it was agony to watch them making their life together.”

She placed her mug on the table and dropped her head into her hands. “But now I’m stuck in this habit of being the single friend, sitting watching life go by. And I can’t get out of it because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”

“When you see them together, do you wish it was you? With Majella.” Shiv surprised herself with the question, but a part of her really needed to know.

Con’s head shot up. “What? No! Of course not.” She sighed and her shoulders drooped again. “I always yearned for what we had before. I wanted to go back to ten years ago. When we were happy, and everything was perfect.”

Shiv wondered how perfect it could have been if Majella had chosen to leave.

“And do you still want that?” Why did she care so much? Was that what she wanted with Con? To play happy families in the big, rambling house?

Con stood suddenly, kicking the chair away, and moved to the window. “I don’t know. It’s all so far in the past now. Why am I still stuck there?”

“You’re not.” Shiv followed her to the window and stood behind, wanting to put her arms around her to comfort her, but not trusting herself to stop there.

“You have a life here. A career. More than that, an important role in the community. You have friends, people who care about you.”

I care about you. I dream about us being together. Not just together as in sex. Although, that would be amazing. But as a real couple. But it’s just a fantasy because people like you don’t get together with people like me.

But she didn’t say any of that. How could she?

“And now you’ve got the youth club. You’re gonna make a difference for a whole generation of lonely, isolated kids.”

She reached out and tugged Con’s elbow, turning her around. Her eyes were shining. “And like you said, it’s just a few days.”

Con stood straight and took a deep breath. “You’re right. A few days. Then we can get back to normal.”

Whatever normal was, Shiv surely didn’t know. She looked over at her laptop where she should have been planning to expose evil men. But even that felt hollow now, somehow. As if she was just playing at life.

* * *

“Happy Christmas, Siobhán!” The woman calling to her looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t put a name to her.

She waved back at the woman walking up the lane with her husband and four children. “Happy holidays!”

The children all waved and echoed their mother’s greeting.

Everyone she’d passed on her way down the hill had been full of Christmas excitement.

Far more people than usual were out walking, and she guessed they were making the most of the sunny, mild morning before the strong winds and rain that had been forecast for the next few days.

Shiv was surprised to feel quite excited. Her backpack was filled with gifts for her hosts, and she was looking forward to a day with her favorite island people. Well, most of them.

She entered the gates of the Waterside hotel where Tierney, Seán, and a group of kids—ranging from three-year-old Denny to a young man in his late teens—were playing with a round ball.

Saoirse was the first to spot her and she turned with the ball in one hand and hit it with the open palm of her other hand.

She aimed well and Shiv caught it easily.

It was a strange shape in her hands, but seeing the expectation on the faces of the children, she hoisted it to her chin and passed it like a football.

Seán caught it as the children cracked up laughing. “What was that?” He was laughing, too.

Tierney snatched the ball from him and booted it down the lawn. The children ran after it, still laughing. Little Denny followed behind on his short legs, but Saoirse turned and took his hand as they chased the ball before it reached the water’s edge.

“Ignore this bunch of ignoramuses. They have no idea what football is.” Tierney elbowed Seán, then pulled Shiv in for a hug. “Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, or whatever term you use.”

Shiv didn’t know what term to use. She’d long thought of Christmas Day simply as an opportunity to work while the enemy was off guard. Her last one had been spent behind bars, and before that she’d been alone in her RV in the middle of the desert.

“Happy Christmas.” She shrugged herself out of her gloomy thought and turned to hug Seán.

He kissed her on the cheek. “Happy Christmas. You two go on in. I’ll keep an eye on these hooligans. Whose idea was it to buy Saoirse a new football?”

“Yours!” Tierney chuckled as she led Shiv indoors.

The wall of noise made Shiv hesitate for a moment, then she clenched her jaw and walked in.

Joey stood with a tall man who bore a close resemblance to them, and a short, dark-haired woman. They were chatting with Aoife, who held Tierney and Kasia’s baby, Pegeen. Behind them, Gracie slouched on a couch, scrolling on her phone.

Pegeen noticed Tierney first and waved her little arms. Shiv added her gifts to the pile beneath the towering tree in the stairwell.

“Tierney.” Kasia emerged from the dining room looking as businesslike as ever. “Can you come and talk to your uncles? They’ve insisted on sitting at the table already, and I don’t have time to entertain them.”

“Is Granddad here?” Shiv hadn’t considered he would spend his vacation in his childhood home. Her enthusiasm for her new family had its limits.

Kasia frowned. “Yes, he arrived last night. And your uncle Jim, and his youngest, Martin.”

“Oh, right. He didn’t say.”

Tierney hoisted Pegeen in one arm and took Shiv’s sleeve. “Right, you two can help me with the small talk.” She led Shiv into the dining room as Pegeen giggled and babbled away. Shiv wished she could feel so carefree about seeing the senior Walsh brothers.

The dining room had been rearranged so the tables made one long line against the window.

At one end sat her grandfather, his face redder than usual, probably from drinking most of the bottle of sherry set in front of him.

Alongside him sat his brother Anto, and across the table was Jim, her mom’s brother.

He stood to greet her. “Happy Christmas, Siobhán.”

“And to you, Jim. I didn’t know you were coming over.”

“We come every Christmas. But Maggie’s had to stay home this year, so it’s just me and Martin. I’ll introduce you later.”

Shiv slid into a chair beside him. “Happy holidays, Granddad.” She smiled as warmly as she could muster, and he nodded back before returning to his conversation with his brother. At least she’d tried.

Tierney placed Pegeen on the floor close to Shiv. “Will you watch her while I check they’re okay in the kitchen?”

“Of course.” She held out a hand to Pegeen who toddled toward her.

Tierney returned with a highchair and strapped in Pegeen.

“Marianne says dinner will be in fifteen minutes. I’ll go tell the others.”

Soon, the other guests, followed by the troupe of children who been called in from outside, took their places at the table.

Further down the table, Joey placed a booster seat on a chair for Denny.

He spotted Shiv and started shouting her name.

It seemed a good opportunity to remove herself from her granddad’s orbit. She lifted Pegeen’s chair.

“Excuse us, Peggy wants to sit with her buddy.”

Her uncle Jim nodded and smiled, but her granddad was still in conversation. She’d speak with him later, if she must. For now, she wanted to enjoy her lunch with people she liked.