Page 33 of Harbor Lights (Inishderry Island Romances #3)

TWENTY-TWO

“You took my blood pressure fifteen minutes ago,” Shiv growled.

Her irritation was probably a sign of her recovery, but poor Con didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of it.

And it stemmed from wanting Con, in her cute little baby blue PJs, to get in next to her, in her makeshift bed.

She’d been fussing around her for too long, and Shiv was tired and sore, and really just needed a hug.

Not that she would ever say that out loud.

“Okay.” Con folded the cuff back into its case and dropped it into her bag. She picked up the shovel and piled more turf onto the fire. Shiv watched the curve of her ass as she bent down in pants a few sizes too small.

“Con, you’ll die. I’m okay. Please just come here.” That was the closest she would get to begging.

Con blinked, then wiped her hands and settled on the edge of the couch. She picked up her coffee mug and held it between them. Was she uncomfortable?

Shiv held up the blankets, shivering as the cocoon of heat dispersed. Con put down her mug and scooted up close, enveloping them both in the throws. “You need to stay as warm as you can.”

“It’s warmer already with you in here.”

Con snickered and tipped her head back, as if to move her face from the direct heat. “I’m not surprised. I feel as though I could reignite a dead sun.”

“I’m sorry. Is it really uncomfortable?” She didn’t want to cause Con distress with her neediness.

Con’s eyes shone. “It’s worth it to… help you.” She readjusted her position, until her back was against the arm of the couch. “Scoot up here and maybe we can help each other out.”

Shiv shuffled eagerly across the couch, bringing the blankets with her. She settled between Con’s knees, and her warm chest immediately soothed Shiv’s back.

Con pulled her closer. “You really are quite cool.” She placed the back of her hand on Shiv’s forehead again.

“Apart from the chill, I feel a lot better. My headache’s not so bad.”

Con’s warm hand slid up her bare back, causing a shudder of sensations she was unprepared for.

“Sorry, but it’s your core temperature we need to raise.”

Shiv wanted to confirm her core was definitely many degrees warmer and would continue to rise as long as Con continued running her fingers along her spine. She tried to relax, worried Con would misread the tension in her body.

Con pulled her back against her. “Sorry, I’ll stop fussing. Your vitals are fine, and I’m sure you’ll be much better in the morning.”

Shiv’s gaze moved to the clock on the mantel. “It’s only eight-thirty. What are we going to do till bedtime?”

Con’s chest rumbled with a low laugh. “You might need an early night.” A pause. “Why don’t you tell me about your mum?”

“What about her?” Why can’t I hold conversations like normal people?

“You said she was thrown out by your granddad. How did that work out for you?”

Con wanted to know more about Shiv and her family. It wasn’t a trap, just someone she was getting close to, asking reasonable questions. Aware of Con’s hand on her hip over her pajamas, she placed her own hand over it and moved it under the pajama top, so it rested on her stomach.

“Your hand is so warm. It’s like a hot water bottle.”

“Glad to be of service.”

She could feel the smile in the words. If Con wished to know more about her background, she wanted to open up and talk.

“I told you my mom was big into activism, too. She grew up in the eighties in England, so there was plenty to fight for. She went on marches and rallies and even ran off to a peace camp when she was fifteen. My granddad brought her back, but he could never understand her motivation. He thought she should be grateful she was being brought up in a comfortable home.”

“I know Desmond lost his wife young. How old would your mom have been?”

“She was eleven. And the eldest. So, my granddad expected her to help run the house at that age. It became clear very early on that wasn’t going to happen. I think she’s got a lot of unaddressed grief from that time, but her reaction was to rebel.”

Con’s fingers circled across her abs in what she assumed was meant to be a comforting way. Shiv was enjoying it, but comfort wouldn’t have been the word she’d use.

Focus on the story. “So, she hung out with all these feminists. They were mostly lesbians, but she always said she was cursed with a love of dick.”

Con made a gagging noise behind her, making her giggle.

“I know, right? So unnatural. Anyway, long story short, she met a guy at a fundraising gig. The singer in the band. They were from the US and gigging around the UK in an old bus. She got on the bus to travel with them, and I’m sure you can guess the rest.”

“She got pregnant?”

“Yeah, but by the time she knew, he was long gone. After my granddad found out and threw her out, she stole her mom’s jewelry and sold it for the price of a plane ticket.”

“I can’t imagine that helped heal the rift in their relationship.”

“No. But she was sixteen. She did what she thought her mom would’ve wanted. But it turned out San Francisco was a little bigger than she bargained for. She never did find him. And when her visa ran out, she went in search of the kind of place her friends had lived in back home.”

“A squat?”

“They called it a women’s collective, but yeah. They looked after her so well throughout her pregnancy, and after I was born.”

“And that’s where you grew up?” Con shifted and Shiv wondered if her legs were numb.

“On and off. We moved around for a few years when I was young.” She half turned. “D’you want me to move?”

“No, no. You’re cooling me down.”

Shiv wasn’t sure she was. But now she had opened the can of worms that was her younger life, she wanted Con to know everything.

“By the time I hit my teens, we moved back for good. The house had got really run down by this time, but then a woman called Martha arrived. She had a proper job, but she liked the communal life with other women. She started doing all the jobs that were needed around the house and when I showed an interest, she taught me to help.”

“And that’s how you became an electrician?”

“Who’s telling this story?” She tipped her head back to frown.

Con laughed. “Get on with it, then.”

“I wanted to do an apprenticeship, but my mom had moved back so I could go to the local school and not get home-schooled like some of the kids. I always got good grades, and she had this crazy idea that I could get into college.”

“Did you want to go to college?”

“Nah. I wanted to earn money and do my own thing. I couldn’t wait to get away from my mom’s control, even though all she’d ever done was look out for me. Then something happened that changed everything.”

“Hold that thought. I need to stoke the fire.” Con eased out from under her, and she felt the loss immediately.

She sat up straight, watching Con stretch out her legs before bending toward the fire.

“Shall I make tea?” She started to remove the blankets.

Con turned and put a hand on her knee. “Stay right where you are. I’ll do that next.”

“I need a comfort break. Please let me move.”

“Oh. Sorry, yes. Give me a moment and I’ll help.”

Shiv scooted up more actively than she felt. Her right calf still felt like someone had stabbed it with a kitchen knife. “I’ll be two minutes. I’ll call if I need assistance.” She switched on the kettle, then escaped into the hallway.

The temperature outside the room was much cooler and she hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as she could. She checked her reflection while she washed her hands. She was pale, even by her standards, and her lips still had a bluish tinge. Very attractive.

She rubbed her arms and re-entered the main room. Con was at the kettle and nodded toward the couch. “Get back under the covers.”

“Can I have coffee?”

“Nope, too much caffeine.”

Shiv tucked herself back under the blankets and waited for Con to return with the mugs.

“What’s this?” She screwed her face up at the purple concoction. She sniffed it suspiciously. It smelled of healthiness.

“Berry tea. It’ll help you sleep.”

“I don’t think I’ll need much help. But I want to finish my story.”

Con lowered to the opposite end of the couch and sipped her tea.

Shiv hoped she’d return. The warmth she got from being wrapped in Con’s arms went way beyond body heat.

Apart from her mom when she was little, no one had ever held her that way and made her feel so…

safe? Safety wasn’t something she’d ever sought out. But it felt so good.

A cough made her realize she was staring straight at Con, who stared back.

“Sorry, I was miles away. Right, my mom. Now I was growing up and being an ungrateful little asshole, she decided to get a job in a local barber shop, cleaning up and making coffee. Art, the guy who owned it, paid her cash and didn’t ask too many questions.

Then he started training her to cut hair.

Properly, not like the half-assed jobs I’d been getting all my life.

She’d come home and all she’d ever talk about was fucking Art. I hated him for no good reason.”

“You’d had your mom to yourself your whole life. It’s understandable.”

“Well, my mom didn’t understand it. We argued constantly.

She was still in her early thirties back then.

He was closer to fifty, and I called him a perverted old loser, among other things.

When she came home one day full of excitement that he’d asked her to marry him, I lost it completely and accused her of marrying him to get a green card.

I refused to go to the wedding, and I stayed in the squat when she moved in with Art. ”

Shiv rubbed her face. She had never been proud of the years she’d wasted not speaking to her mom.

They’d become close again as she got older and wiser, but now they were separated again.

But this time against her will. She wondered what her mom would think of her now, stepping back from her life of activism. Would she be disappointed, or relieved?

“And where is she now?” Con’s expression was open and understanding. Shiv didn’t feel judged.

“Turned out they loved each other very much. They’ll be celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year.” She smiled as she said it. Her mom had deserved her happily-ever-after.

Her eyes felt heavy, and she rubbed them.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep now, darlin’?” Con reached over and pulled the covers up to her chin.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to. It’s not as warm without you.” She grinned and got an eye roll in return. Con got up once more and left the room, presumably to use the bathroom.

Shiv stared at the flickering flames. Was it weak to ask Con to hold her?

She felt cold and weary, and she’d scared the shit out of herself today.

Maybe she just didn’t have the energy to put on a brave face.

Or perhaps it was because Con didn’t make her feel weak, or useless.

When Con was around, she felt cared for and valued.

And wasn’t that the best feeling in the world?