Page 59 of Give Me a Reason

I ’m chickenshit.

Frederick raked his fingers through his hair as he stared at his phone, sitting alone in the small bedroom attached to his office.

But what could he have done? Demanded that she ignore the phone call from her director?

Frederick had no idea what he was doing, but he was certain of one thing.

He would not get in the way of her happiness.

If working with that smarmy asshole made her happy, then she should do that. If taking care of her ungrateful family made her happy, then she should do that, too. If he couldn’t be a positive influence in her life, he shouldn’t be in it at all—even as a friend—no matter what he wanted.

But he couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in his life. He would be her Giving Tree if she wanted. If he had to become a sad, lonely stump to have her in his life, he would do it. He would be anything for Anne. But damn it all to fucking hell, he wanted to be everything for her.

“Hey.” Pete poked his head in the door and flipped on the lights. “Why do you look like you want to punch your phone?”

“Go away,” Frederick growled weakly like a hibernating bear, shielding his eyes from the glare of the lights. He should’ve known better than to brood at the station, even though he was in his own damn bedroom, in his own damn office.

Pete faltered at the door as though he couldn’t decide whether to take Frederick seriously or not.

“Hey, Captain.” Joe walked in without hesitation and sat down on the bed beside him. Pete shrugged and went in to sit down on Frederick’s other side. “I hear you’ve been flower-bombing Bethany.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Frederick said, sandwiched between his two annoying friends. “The girl got hurt because I didn’t stop her from running off into the dark.”

“Wow. Where do I even start with that statement?” Joe crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Frederick.

“First of all, Bethany is a grown-ass woman, not a girl . Second, it wasn’t your job to stop her from running anywhere.

She can damn well run whenever, wherever she feels like, because—back to point one—she is a grown-ass woman.

Third, are you saying those are just guilt flowers? ”

“What the hell are guilt flowers?” Frederick stared at Joe like he’d lost his mind.

He had to be making this shit up. “They’re get-well flowers.

Have you seen those? Like at hospital gift shops?

People send them all the time. Don’t they?

God, do I have to send a balloon that says Get Well to make my intent clear? ”

“So they’re not have-my-baby flowers?” Joe tapped a finger on his chin.

“ Have-my-baby flowers? ” Frederick muttered under his breath, rubbing his forehead.

“You thought he was interested in Bethany?” Pete snorted. “Whatever gave you that ridiculous idea?”

“Why is that ridiculous?” Joe leaned around Frederick to aim his glare at Pete. “What’s wrong with Bethany?”

“Nothing. She’s amazing.” Pete gave Frederick a shit-eating grin. “It’s just that she isn’t Anne.”

“ Anne? ” Joe gaped at Frederick. “All this time, you had a thing for Anne when Coraline and I were trying to set you up with Bethany?”

“It’s a heart-wrenching story that spans ten years and two continents,” Pete said with dramatic flair. “Two lovers separated by—”

“I’m sorry, Joe.” Frederick cut Pete a look to shut him up. “I’m touched and flattered you wanted to set me up with Bethany, but I’m not interested in her that way. I hope I didn’t give her or anyone else the impression that I thought of her as anything more than a friend.”

“Thank God,” Joe said with a slow smile spreading across his face. Frederick’s eyes widened. That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected. “Because Aiden and Bethany have been talking a lot since Bosque Verde. I think my little brother might have a crush on her.”

“Two brothers marrying two sisters.” Pete practically bounced on the bed in his glee.

“I said Aiden had a crush on Bethany.” Joe side-eyed Pete. “I didn’t say anything about them getting married .”

“Just give them time.” Pete nodded sagely. “That’s what always happens in K-dramas.”

“This isn’t a K-drama.” Joe threw up his hands, then got a considering look on his face. “But that would be kind of sweet.”

“Right?” Pete thrust his fist out, and Joe bumped it—all within two inches of Frederick’s nose.

“Can you guys go bond somewhere else? Anywhere as long as it’s not here.” Frederick massaged his temples. “I’m trying to figure something out.”

“That brings us back to my original question.” Pete made no move to leave. “Why were you giving your phone the death glare?”

“You want to do this now? Fine.” Frederick turned to give Joe a pointed look, but he had to lean back because he couldn’t focus his eyes. His lieutenant was sitting really close to him.

“Oh, hells no.” Joe crossed his arms and legs, locking himself in position. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Lieutenant, we’re still on duty,” Frederick said in his best captain voice.

“Which is why you should hurry the fuck up, Captain ,” Joe snapped. “I can’t believe you two were keeping secrets from me.”

“Joe.” Frederick scrubbed his face with his hands. “Like Pete said, it’s a long, complicated story about my past—”

“ And your future,” Pete added, arching an eyebrow in challenge. “If you and Anne have really resolved your past hurts, it’s time to think about your future with her.”

“But that’s the problem.” Frederick swallowed past his suddenly dry throat. Saying something out loud made it scarier because it became more real. “I’m not sure if I have a future with her.”

“Okay. You can catch me up on your long, complicated past later,” Joes said, placing his hands on his thighs. “Why the hell can’t you have a future with Anne?”

“There might be something between her and Andrew Cha.” Frederick heard his phone case creak in protest and forced himself to relax his grip.

“And having a well-respected director by her side can only help her. She would never use Andrew Cha’s influence to get ahead, but he would understand the nuances of the industry—and whatever she’s going through—better than I ever could. ”

“Bullshit. You don’t need to understand the ins and outs of the film industry to support her. You just need to understand the ins and outs of Anne,” Pete said softly. “Are you saying Andrew Cha knows her better than you do? Loves her more than you do? Is that what you’re saying?”

“ No one could ever love Anne more than I do,” Frederick ground out, then froze at his own admission. So much for not acknowledging the L word. He never stood a chance anyway. She was Anne. And he was hers. Then, now, and forever.

“Then how could anyone be better for her than you?” Pete squeezed his shoulder. “I know you’re scared of having your heart broken again. But, Frederick, isn’t Anne worth the risk? After ten long years, don’t you think the two of you deserve to be happy?”

“But what if she’s already happy without me?” Frederick asked in a strangled voice, his eyes shut tight.

“Then go make her happier,” Joe said with quiet urgency. “I’m marrying Coraline so I can spend the rest of my life making her happy. I’m going to love her so hard—make her laugh, smile, and swoon so often—that I’ll never have to wonder if she would be happier without me.”

“I can do that.” Frederick nodded till he saw double. He wanted nothing more than to make Anne happier than she’d ever been. He would give anything to make her laugh, smile, and swoon.

“Yes, you can.” Pete slapped him on the back.

“Because I’m in love with Anne,” he said with wonder. His heart had known all along. It had just been waiting for his mind to admit it.

He thought telling Anne how he felt meant putting his peace and well-being on the line.

But he would never be well , hiding from his love.

He would never be at peace if he didn’t do everything in his power to win her back.

Not telling her how he felt—never finding out how she felt—would destroy him more cruelly than a broken heart.

Frederick loved Anne and always would. He would never be whole without her. What if she felt the same way? What if her heart had been lying in wait for a chance to beat for him again?

But fear snaked inside his head. What if she’d put those precious feelings to rest? What if he was too late?

There was only one way to find out. He’d blamed Anne for not fighting for their love ten years ago. He would be a hypocrite not to fight for her now.

“You think?” Pete rolled his eyes affectionately. “It took you long enough. Now go tell Anne.”

“What?” Frederick shrank back like Pete had developed a pungent odor. “ Now? ”

“Yes, now.” Joe huffed. “What are you waiting for?”

“I… I don’t know.” Frederick pushed off the bed and paced in a tight circle. “I can’t just show up at her condo.”

“He has a point.” Pete pinched his chin between his fingers. “We got carried away in the excitement of the moment.”

“That’s understandable. This is exciting stuff.” Joe rubbed his hands together. “Okay. Let’s help him come up with a strategy.”

Frederick stopped pacing to glance between his friends. “A strategy?”

They shushed him in unison and did their best impersonations of The Thinker .

“I got it.” Pete’s face spread into an anime grin. “What he needs is a grand gesture .”

“How grand are we talking?” Joe gave the battalion chief a narrow, considering gaze.

“ Grand. ” Pete held his arms out wide. “The man waited ten years to do this. He can wait two more weeks to win her back properly.”

“Two more weeks?” Frederick squawked.

“Oh.” Joe shook his finger at Pete with an off-kilter smile of his own. “I know where you’re going with this.”

“It’s perfect, right?” Pete laughed. “What’s more romantic than chasing after the woman you love across an ocean?”

“Now that is a grand gesture,” Joe crowed.

“What are you guys talking about?” Frederick watched dumbstruck as Joe and Pete high-fived each other. “I can call Anne to see if she’s free tomorrow. I… I’ll get her some flowers…”

“Can you believe this guy?” Joe jerked his thumb toward Frederick. “He doesn’t even know what have-my-baby flowers are. How is he going to get her the right flowers?”

“I agree.” Pete nodded. “He wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Frederick threw his hands up in the air. “ He is standing right here.”

“Let Uncle Pete explain. Shall we start with your timing?” Pete got to his feet and paced alongside Frederick. “Anne is overwhelmed with preparations for the filming, right?”

“Right,” Frederick conceded. “She’s a perfectionist, so she is probably preparing herself within an inch of her life.”

“Don’t you think it might add to her stress if you called her out of the blue to ask her out on a date?” Pete sounded like he was speaking to a kindergartener.

“For the record, you two suggested I go tell her now . Remember? Besides, it won’t be a date. It’ll be casual… I’ll just…”

Frederick had never met Anne alone since she had come back to the States, except for Christmas and that night in Bosque Verde.

Both nights were mind-blowing in different ways and as far from casual as possible.

Besides, how would he even ask her to meet with him?

We need to talk sounded so ominous. But he couldn’t tell her, I need to see you because I want to confess my undying love for you.

“Shit.” He rubbed his forehead.

“Just two more weeks.” Pete patted Frederick’s shoulder. “Give her some time to settle in at the location and get used to her filming schedule. Then you can tell her in person.”

“Wait.” Frederick blinked. “You don’t mean…”

“Oh yes he does. You’re going to England, mate,” Joe said in a passable British accent. “That’s what makes it a grand gesture .”

“Fuck yeah.” Frederick fist-pumped to the hoots of his friends. “England, here I come.”

He would crawl and swim to England if only Anne would have him back. The biggest hardship for this grand gesture was having to wait two long weeks to tell her he loved her.

But the last thing he wanted was to add to her already full plate, so he would wait—even if it felt like his heart was ripping at the seams, holding the words inside.

I’m coming, Anne. Wait for me.