Page 22 of Give Me a Reason

Christmastime in Seoul had been different. Sometimes there was snow, which made for a pretty sight. But the decorations and music were just sprinkled here and there, unlike in the US, where the holidays took over everything .

Anne actually liked it when the holiday season swallowed up life as they knew it and spat out a winter wonderland at their feet, even without the snow. She’d missed that feeling of warmth and manic happiness, where everyone seemed to be a soft nudge away from bursting into song.

Walking into Auntie Sharon’s house on Christmas Day gave Anne a true sense of homecoming.

Her aunt’s holiday philosophy definitely belonged to the winter wonderland end of the spectrum.

The house looked as though Buddy the Elf had spent all day preparing it for Santa’s visit.

And the scent of cinnamon and cloves from Uncle Paul’s signature mulled apple cider infused the air, with the fresh scent of their Christmas tree cutting through it.

Anne hugged her aunt. “Merry Christmas, Imo.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetie.” Auntie Sharon patted her cheek. “It’s so good to have you home, especially for the holidays.”

“My turn.” Uncle Paul picked Anne off the floor in a bear hug, making her squeak and laugh.

“Hey, what about me?” Tessa asked, holding her arms out.

“What about you?” he teased. “Come here. I saved you the best hug.”

Meanwhile, Juliette and Anne’s father slinked off to sit on the living room sofa, wearing twin looks of disdain as they took in the colorful Christmas tree.

Every year, her older sister decided on a monochromatic theme for their Christmas tree.

This year, she chose various shades of white for the decorations.

Anne couldn’t deny that it looked striking, but it felt so cold and aloof.

A wry smile twisted her lips. Cold and aloof were perfectly on brand for her father and Juliette.

Anne shook off the unkind thought and turned to Bethany. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Her cousin hugged her tightly. “I made crème br?lée for dessert.”

“Really? You’re the best.” Anne hugged her tighter. “I love crème br?lée.”

“Duh, I know.” Bethany smiled as she stepped back. “Did you have a nice Christmas dinner with your family?”

“Yes, it was… nice,” Anne said blandly.

Knowing her father’s and Juliette’s tastes—even though they wouldn’t know hers if their lives depended on it—she’d made salt-baked branzino and blanched white asparagus for dinner.

In quiet rebellion, she poured a drizzle of rich, creamy hollandaise sauce on the asparagus.

A small part of her felt sheepish for her immature behavior, but the rest of her felt pretty fantastic about it. Vive la révolution!

To their credit, her father and older sister didn’t complain as they scraped off the hollandaise before transferring the asparagus to their plates. Tessa scooped up the extra sauce for herself with a wink at Anne.

“How was your dinner?” Anne hoped Bethany had made extra dessert because she was still hungry.

“Oh my God.” She gripped Anne’s forearm as if the memory of their dinner made her feel faint with ecstasy. “Dad perfected his prime rib and Yorkshire pudding recipes. It was divine .”

“Do you have leftovers?” Tessa asked in a low, desperate voice.

“Yes, what she said.” Anne nodded rapidly.

“Come on, you two.” Bethany beckoned them to the kitchen. “You can eat before Coraline and Joe come.”

“Did Coraline have dinner with Joe’s family?” Tessa leaned against the island as Bethany bustled around.

“Uh-huh,” her cousin said, preparing two plates of prime rib and Yorkshire pudding. “And they’re coming over for dessert. Next year, they’ll have dinner with our family, then have dessert with his. So on, so forth.”

“They make it look so easy.” Anne bit into the medium-rare goodness and moaned. “Oh yeah. Uncle Paul has definitely got this down to a science.”

“An art ,” Tessa said reverently. “This is a beautiful piece of meat.”

“Dad will be thrilled to hear that.” Bethany grinned and went about tidying up the kitchen. For a while, Anne and Tessa ate their second dinner in blissful silence, but their cousin suddenly straightened and smoothed out her clothes. “Hey, guys. Do I look okay?”

“Gorgeous as usual.” Anne arched an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

“Frederick is coming over with Coraline and Joe,” her cousin said a little breathlessly. “His sister and brother-in-law are out of the country, so Joe invited him to dinner with his family. Mom insisted Frederick come to our house after because she wants to meet her future son-in-law’s boss.”

Anne stopped chewing, stopped breathing. Frederick’s coming here? Now? Luckily, no one noticed her sudden transformation into a statue.

“Joe’s boss?” Tessa popped the last piece of Yorkshire pudding into her mouth.

“Frederick is the captain of Joe’s fire station, and…” Bethany sighed. “He’s everything.”

“ Everything , eh?” Tessa smirked. “He must be hot.”

“Yes, he’s hot, but that’s not all.” Bethany stuck her nose in the air. “He’s kind and smart and really funny.”

“That is basically everything.” Tessa looked impressed. “I gotta meet this guy.”

“Well, he’ll be here any minute. Shoot, I bet I ate away all my lip gloss. Why didn’t you guys say anything?” Bethany rushed out of the kitchen, presumably to reapply her lip gloss.

Anne slowly returned to her body and unthinkingly smacked her lips to check if her lipstick was intact.

With an impatient shake of her head, she gathered Tessa’s and her empty plates and carried them to the sink, then briskly washed the dishes.

Frederick barely even looked at her the last few times they’d seen each other.

The state of her makeup hardly mattered.

“Have you met this Frederick ?” Tessa came to stand next to her and dried the clean dishes. Anne was pleasantly surprised to have her little sister help without being asked. “Bethany is so into him.”

“What?” It belatedly registered in Anne’s head that her cousin did seem rather infatuated with her ex. Did Frederick return Bethany’s feelings? Was there a budding romance between the two that Anne hadn’t noticed? Something hot and bitter slithered through her stomach.

Tessa gave her an odd look, then shrugged. “Have you met Bethany’s captain?”

Bethany’s captain? Anne’s blood pounded in her ears. No, no, no.

“Uh, yeah. We had Thanksgiving dinner at the station.” It was the truth even though it wasn’t the complete truth. Even so, Anne took her time drying her hands and avoided meeting Tessa’s eyes.

“Do you agree with Bethany?” her sister pried with gleeful curiosity. “Is he everything ?”

Anne was saved from answering the question when she heard a chorus of greetings from the hallway.

To her relief, Tessa rushed out of the kitchen without a backward glance.

Anne planted her hands on the kitchen island and forced herself to breathe.

She could handle spending an hour or two with Frederick.

But it terrified her that she might find confirmation of his attraction to Bethany.

She loved her sweet cousin, and Frederick was a good man, the best of them. Anne had no reason to object to their dating—her stomach churned with nausea—if he returned Bethany’s interest. No reason except for the stubborn speck of hope in her heart that Frederick could be hers again.

Anne Lee, you’re a fool.

On days like these, she hated her ever-hopeful heart.

She could never do anything to hurt Bethany, even if Anne had loved Frederick first. If he and her cousin wanted to be together, she couldn’t stand in their way.

Bethany must never find out that Anne would have Frederick back in a heartbeat, if only he wanted her.

By the time she forced her legs to carry her out of the kitchen, everyone seemed to be in the living room. Bethany was already there with glistening pink lips, chatting with Frederick next to the bookshelves. The sudden urge to hiss at her cousin shocked Anne.

Just as she scolded some sense back into herself, Frederick’s eyes locked with hers as though he knew where to find her, and her breath caught in her throat.

She’d missed him so much, even though she had seen him less than a month ago.

He looked unfairly handsome in a forest-green shirt with the sleeves rolled past his elbows and black slacks that hinted at the hard muscles in his legs.

God, one of his thighs had to be thicker than her waist.

Anne couldn’t stop staring at him, and his eyes roamed her face and traveled the length of her body like he couldn’t look away either. She had to be imagining the heat in his gaze, but liquid warmth gathered low in her stomach regardless. She felt positively lovesick, not to mention turned on.

Before she made a fool of herself, she acknowledged him with a polite nod, then joined Tessa, Coraline, and Auntie Sharon on the sofa.

Juliette was there, too, but she sat at the other end, scrolling languorously through her phone.

Anne’s skin prickled as though Frederick were still staring at her, and it took all of her willpower not to turn around.

Her father, Uncle Paul, and Joe stood by the windows.

She caught Joe’s eyes and gave him a small wave in greeting.

He gave her a broad grin before returning his attention to whatever Anne’s father was saying.

By the animated look on his face and the expressive movements of his hands, Jonathan Lee could only be talking about his favorite subject. Himself.

Anne listened to the conversation at the sofa with half an ear, too busy not looking at Frederick and Bethany.

What were they talking about? She refused to eavesdrop, but it was hard to ignore her cousin’s constant giggling.

She sounded like one of her second graders.

Anne dug her nails into her palms to stem the tide of jealousy.