Page 3 of Give Me a Reason

Her acting career in Korea had been a whirlwind of auditioning, filming, promoting, and networking on loop.

She didn’t even have time for any meaningful relationships with friends or otherwise.

Her former manager had insisted that taking a break from acting, no matter how short, meant being prematurely forgotten.

His advice hadn’t been wrong. Her fans would’ve moved on to the next new star if she’d slowed down.

She had seen it happen to other actors all too often.

And since Anne couldn’t afford not to work, she’d kept going.

Ten years of that lifestyle had predictably taken a toll on her, even more so than she’d thought.

She was too exhausted to find the motivation to do anything.

Or even think about doing anything… which was why she had been ignoring her old friend and new agent Meredith Shim’s calls for nearly a month.

Anne had been promising herself she would call Meredith back “next week” for the last four weeks.

Like any respectable film and TV agent in Los Angeles, Meredith hustled with boundless energy, and she had her eyes set on Anne transitioning into Hollywood.

They’d both minored in theater at UC San Diego, and her friend had been ecstatic when Anne landed her first K-drama role all those years ago.

To this day, Meredith claimed she discovered Anne’s talent first.

“Thank you. I knew you would understand,” Bethany crooned, hugging Anne tightly. “Okay. I’d better get back to my kiddos.”

“Go on.” Anne needed a moment to prepare herself before she could be in the same room as Frederick again. “I’ll be right in.”

She stood rooted to the spot for a good five minutes, wringing her hands raw, but she didn’t feel any more prepared to face him.

She wanted to wrap herself around one of his legs like a koala hugging a tree and never let him out of her sight.

She also wanted to run in the opposite direction and never see him again.

What in the world?

Anne pressed her hand against her forehead. It’s okay. She could figure this out. Wanting to hold on to him was… a phantom emotion from the past—a memory of wanting to be with him. It wasn’t real.

And the part of her that wanted to run away from him must stem from her guilt. She’d broken the man’s heart. It was a long time ago, but she still felt awful about it. That had to be it.

After a moment, she sighed in resignation. It was no use. There was no figuring any of this out. The empty blacktop, with a lonely tetherball swinging in the wind, only made her feel more listless. She turned back toward the classroom. She had promised her cousin she’d stay, so she would stay.

She snuck in through the back door with her chin tucked to her chest and reclaimed her seat in the corner.

When she got up the nerve to look at Frederick, he didn’t meet her eyes, busy speaking to the kids.

In fact, he didn’t glance her way once, or otherwise acknowledge her existence, and she felt nauseous with disappointment.

But what had she expected? He had no reason to steal glances at her.

Meanwhile, Anne couldn’t do anything but steal glances at him, even though she didn’t have any reasons to either.

“Thank you, Captain Nam,” the children shouted as one, clapping and bouncing on the mat.

Anne had been so busy memorizing the lines of his face, so familiar yet so different, that she’d missed his entire talk. Before she could catch up to what was happening, Frederick said a quick farewell to the class and nodded at Bethany as he headed toward the door.

“Thank you so…” Her cousin trailed off when Frederick walked out of the classroom before she could finish.

Anne shot up from her seat. When Bethany turned round eyes on her, Anne mouthed bathroom before heading toward the back door at a comically casual pace, minus a tuneless whistle.

But why would a person who needed to use the bathroom walk like they were out for a leisurely stroll?

Geez. She was a seasoned actress, for God’s sake.

Anne smiled and nodded at a few children who glanced over their shoulders at her, then picked up her pace to slightly faster than her normal walk.

But as soon as she stepped out to the walkway, she sprinted in the direction of the school’s main entrance at breakneck speed.

She didn’t think about what came next. She only knew she needed to find him.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she finally spotted his disappearing back. Even though he’d just left the classroom, his long legs had carried him almost to the other side of the small campus.

“Frederick,” she called out, running after him. For a moment, she thought he would keep walking, but he faltered, then slowly turned to face her. She barely skidded to a stop an arm’s length away from him.

Even as she struggled to catch her breath, her eyes roamed greedily over him.

The sheer breadth of the man made him seem like an intimidating stranger.

Yet the wayward lock of hair that fell across his forehead was so familiar that her heart ached with tenderness.

Her hand twitched at her side, wanting to brush the hair away like she’d done a thousand times.

But a part of her craved to explore the changes in him.

She wanted to press her palms against the hard definition of his chest to see if there would be any give.

If she spanned her hands around his biceps, would her fingertips touch?

How else had he changed? How different would he feel?

Her teeth caught her bottom lip as awareness shot down her spine, adding to the confused chaos of her emotions.

“Frederick.” She tilted her head back to look up at him, but the hard glint in his eyes made her want to turn away and hide from his anger.

“Yes?” His upper lip curled back.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say to his cold, shuttered face. He was so angry with her. But wasn’t that why she chased after him? To apologize?

“What do you want?” He turned his gaze toward the playground as though he couldn’t stand the sight of her, offering her his harsh, bleak profile.

The high slant of his cheekbone, his tall, straight nose, and the stern lines of his jaw could have made him appear hard and arrogant, but his wide, long-lashed eyes and his lush lips softened his face into something more compelling than mere good looks.

And she knew he became the most beautiful man in the world when those lips spread into a smile.

Would he ever smile at her like that again?

Then she abruptly remembered he was waiting for an explanation. Why did she stop him from leaving the school? She wasn’t all that sure herself.

“I wanted…” She should just apologize and walk away, but all the questions she’d suppressed from her consciousness broke through the surface.

She wanted to ask him how he was doing—if he was happy. She hoped he was happy, but… did he think about what could’ve been? Did he ever long for what could’ve been? Did he wish—even for the briefest second—that they could be together again? But she had no right to ask any of that.

“I just wanted to… to say hello,” she stumbled over her vapid words.

Frederick scoffed, his expression hard and bitter, and her unhappy heart sank even lower. After a moment, he aimed his cutting gaze at her. “Well?”

“Well… what?” She blinked, her mouth going dry. Maybe this man was a stranger.

“ Say hello,” he drawled mockingly.

She couldn’t hold back her flinch, humiliation washing over her. “H-hello.”

“There. You said hello.” He arched an impatient brow. “Are we done here?”

Anne shook her head, troubled by the cruel edge of his mockery.

His old wound seemed to have festered into a deep-seated anger.

She’d never seen Frederick so furious before—not even when she’d told him that she was leaving him.

Had she done this to him? Changed him for the worse?

She didn’t understand. He seemed to have an amazing life.

“No? We’re not done?” he snapped. “Because I have a job to get back to. A whole life to get back to that doesn’t involve talking to a ghost from my past.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her throat clogging with unshed tears and unspoken words.

I’m sorry I hurt you. And I’m sorry there’s no place for me in your life. I did that to myself—to both of us—but it was the only choice I could make. The best way I knew how to love you.

He stilled for a second, then his nostrils flared on a sharp inhale. “For what? What are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry… to have bothered you.” She meant it. She shouldn’t have bothered him.

Anne couldn’t apologize for breaking up with him when she believed she’d made the right choice. If life dealt her that same awful hand again, she would choose to leave him… again. She would choose to protect him and his bright future over her own needs.

She wished he wouldn’t be so angry with her, because that meant a part of him was still hurting. And in her heart of hearts, she wanted him to stop hurting even if that meant he would forget her completely. But she didn’t have the power to take away his hurt. All she did was remind him of it.

“Goodbye, Frederick,” she said in a broken whisper.

“Anne.” His icy veneer seemed to crack, and something like remorse flickered in his eyes. “I…”

She turned and ran away from him without waiting for him to finish. She refused to fall apart in front of him and burden him with her selfish tears. She had already hurt him more than enough.

Back in the classroom, Anne drew on all her training and experience as an actor to look calm and collected as she reclaimed the little plastic chair she’d vacated a few minutes ago.

The children were now sitting at their desks, listening to their teacher explain how to add double-digit numbers.

She vaguely noticed how patient Bethany was with them.

On the inside, Anne was anything but calm.

What had Frederick been about to say to her?

It didn’t matter. She threaded her fingers together and clenched them tightly enough to hurt.

They had nothing left to say to each other.

The only thing remaining between them was pain that should’ve been forgotten long ago, no matter how she wished things could’ve been different. She finally understood that now.

Frederick Nam was done with her. And that was for the best.