Page 16 of Give Me a Reason

“Oh, sweetie. There is nothing wrong with being grateful for your fiancé’s safety.

We can’t help caring about our loved ones first and foremost,” Anne said, even though she felt the same guilt because her first thought had been, Thank God Frederick wasn’t hurt .

“That doesn’t mean we’re any less shocked or saddened by the poor woman’s passing. ”

“Is Joe devastated?” Tessa sat on the floor at Coraline’s feet.

“Yeah, and he’s worried about the crew.” Coraline sniffed loudly and sat up tall. “They’re like family to him, and it’s hard for him to see them hurting.”

“And, uh, Captain Nam… How is he doing?” Anne failed spectacularly at sounding casual.

“Frederick always takes these things the hardest.” Her cousin shook her head. “He attributes all the successes to his team but blames himself for the losses. In a way, that’s what makes him such a good leader, but it must also be really tough on the man.”

Anne stood abruptly from the sofa and walked to the kitchen.

She didn’t want her sister and her cousins to see the tears in her eyes.

Frederick was orphaned at a young age and had to grow up much too quickly.

His older sister, Shannon, did her best raising him, but he hated causing trouble and making her worry.

Even in college, he took his responsibilities seriously and tried to bear all the burden on his own.

It seemed that hadn’t changed in the last ten years.

“Sorry I have to leave like this, but I need to see Joe.” Coraline was suddenly in motion, rushing around to gather her things.

“Of course you do,” Tessa said. “Don’t even apologize.”

“I’ll drive you,” Anne blurted. What am I doing? “You shouldn’t drive when you’re so upset.”

“Actually, that’s perfect because Bethany drove me here.” Coraline was already at the door.

“You guys don’t have to rush home,” Anne said to her sister and Bethany. “Finish your tacos and beer. There’s ice cream in the freezer if you want dessert.”

“Thanks. And don’t worry. We won’t burn down the house.” Tessa cringed and shot an apologetic glance at Coraline. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m worried about Joe.” Coraline rolled her eyes. “I haven’t lost my sense of humor.”

Anne picked up her purse from the entryway table and checked for her phone and keys.

She still had no idea what she was doing.

Why was she even going to the fire station?

What did she have to offer Frederick? She would just aggravate him by reminding him of her existence. But she had to do something .

“Here, take this.” Bethany handed Anne a couple of overstuffed take-out bags. Her cousins had definitely gotten too much food for the four of them. “The crew can drown their sorrows in some tacos. I packed extra chips and guacamole as well.”

“Thanks, Beth.” Coraline gave her sister a quick hug. “Eating yummy things really does help with… Well, it helps with everything.”

“Tessa, you have the keys, right?” Anne opened the door and linked her arm through Coraline’s. “Just lock up when you leave. Bye.”

Anne practically ran to the garage, tugging her cousin along. They needed to get to the fire station. Once she stowed the food in the back of her white sedan, she dove into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. Coraline buckled up in a rush as Anne skidded out of the driveway.

“Can you put the address for the fire station in the navigation system?” Anne glanced at her side mirror before changing lanes. The car in front of them was barely driving at the speed limit. “I want to make sure we take the fastest route.”

Her cousin did as requested, seeming calmer now that they were on the road.

Taking action did that for people. It gave you something to focus on other than your own panic.

Staying idle during a crisis only made you feel more helpless.

In that sense, Anne was glad she had her family to take care of when her mom died.

As they neared the fire station, Anne felt her stomach knotting. She wasn’t at all certain she was taking the right sort of action in this instance. Maybe she should have gone on a jog instead.

Frederick definitely wouldn’t be happy to see her. And she might even be intruding on the team as a whole at a difficult time. Anne couldn’t decide what to do even after she parked in front of the station. She worried her bottom lip, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel.

“Anne, can you bring the food inside?” Her cousin glanced at her, reaching for the door handle. “I need to find Joe.”

“Of course.” Anne smiled, relieved to have the decision made for her. “You go in. I’ll take care of the food.”

After a bracing breath, she grabbed the take-out bags and walked into the station bay.

She took hesitant steps toward the family room, trying to recall the layout of the station from her last visit.

It was close to eight o’clock, so the crew would be on standby.

According to Sandy, they usually hung out in the family room after they wrapped up their regular workday.

During Thanksgiving dinner, Sandy had patiently answered her many questions about a day in the life of a firefighter.

Anne thought she wanted a glimpse into the life Frederick had built to remind herself that she’d made the right decision to leave him.

But she had actually been greedy for every precious insight into him so she could tuck them away like treasure.

A low murmur of voices guided her to the right room, but Anne stopped just outside the door. Her heart sank at how subdued the crew sounded—so unlike the raucous chatter of Thanksgiving night. With a determined smile, she stepped into the family room, raising the take-out bags high.

“Knock, knock,” she announced herself. “Is anyone interested in some fish tacos?”

“Hell yeah.” Nick jumped up from the large sectional in the center of the room and bounded up to her. “Thanks, Anne. Oh, and hello, Anne.”

“Hey, Nick.” Anne smiled warmly at him, placing her hand on his giant arm. “How are you doing?”

“It’s my first time dealing with a fatality. Of course, I knew it happened sometimes, but I wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel.” His big hazel eyes glistened with unshed tears, but he hurriedly blinked them away. “So yeah. I really appreciate the tacos.”

“I wish I could tell you it gets easier, big guy.” Michelle joined them and patted Nick on the back. “But it isn’t one of those things that you get used to even with time and experience. All we can do is be here for one another.”

“Hi, Michelle,” Anne said softly. “Do you need some tacos, too?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The driver operator turned around and addressed everyone in the room. “That cereal we had for dinner was pretty pathetic, B Shift. Let’s do some damage to these tacos.”

Anne held up a finger with a cheeky grin. “ And chips and guac.”

The rest of the crew gathered around the sofa as Anne set out the food on the coffee table. Joe joined them, too, with Coraline tucked close by his side. Everyone except Frederick answered the call of tacos.

Anne’s worried eyes scanned the family room, but he was nowhere in sight. She should’ve known. She would have spotted him the moment she’d entered the room if he’d been there.

“Let me get you guys some extra napkins,” she said to no one in particular and went in search of her missing ex.