Page 19 of Give Me a Reason

Anne pulled over to the nearest curb because she couldn’t see the road through her tears.

She’d left after a quick goodbye before she ugly cried in front of everyone.

She couldn’t take attention away from the people who were hurting the most, so she’d driven away from the fire station with tears gathering inside her like an impending storm.

Alone in her car, she let the storm loose.

Oh, Frederick. She saw through him—she knew him too well not to see—his conflict, his vulnerability, his pain.

He tried to bear it all on his own even as he buckled under its weight, away from the very people who could offer him solace.

He wanted to shield his team from his grief.

A sob escaped her throat as she remembered him hunched over the kitchen sink, shoulders tight with sorrow. When she went to him, he didn’t want her comfort. He didn’t want to need her comfort. But she had no choice but to offer it to him. She couldn’t watch him suffer on his own.

Would he hate her again when his sorrow faded?

When he could think and breathe normally once more?

Probably. But she had no regrets about tonight.

She hadn’t been seeking something for herself like forgiveness or reconciliation.

Of course she wanted those things, but tonight, she’d only wanted to take away his hurt.

As her tears slowed to a trickle, she smiled. She was happy she was able to comfort him… and feed him shrimp tacos.

It didn’t begin to make up for the pain she’d caused him, but it was something. She would spend the rest of her life making it up to him, if only he would give her a reason. She’d hidden from her true feelings because it was exhausting to hope when all hope was lost.

But Frederick had opened up to her today. Even though it was out of despair, he’d leaned on her. Hope might not be lost, not all of it. If she scrounged up every ounce of her courage to fight for him, they might be able to find their way back to each other.

Anne dried her cheeks with the back of her hand and eased her car back on the road, the smile still on her face.

But two blocks later, she forgot what she’d been smiling about.

Either she wasn’t watching the road carefully, or it was too dark for her to see clearly, because there was an ominous crunch beneath her tire, followed immediately by a death hiss.

“Oh no.” Biting her lip, she maneuvered her car off the road.

Even after she managed to park, she made no move to get out of the car.

It had to be a flat tire, but if she didn’t confirm it with her own eyes, then she could pretend it wasn’t true.

Anne dropped her forehead against the steering wheel with a long, weary groan.

She probably should’ve learned how to change a flat tire. It was too late for regrets, though.

When she couldn’t hide from her problem any longer without being ridiculous, she dragged herself out of the car. And after staring morosely at the misshapen tire for a good minute, she finally capitulated. “I definitely have a flat.”

Anne was on a smallish street with a convenience store on one side and some apartment buildings on the other. The road wasn’t terribly busy for a Friday evening, but there was enough traffic to save her from feeling too isolated.

Huffing a sigh, she got back into the driver’s seat and rummaged around her purse for her phone.

She toyed with the idea of watching a YouTube tutorial on how to change a tire so she wouldn’t have to bother anyone.

But honestly, she didn’t have it in her to figure out how to change a tire, alone in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

She was emotionally exhausted from the ups and downs of the evening.

Anne: Hey, Coraline. Do you happen to know how to change a flat tire?

Coraline: What? You have a flat tire? But you just left.

Anne: I know. I didn’t get very far.

Coraline: Send me your location.

She sent her cousin her location. It would be good for someone to know her whereabouts tonight. After a few seconds, Coraline’s bubble popped up again.

Coraline: You really didn’t get far at all. I guess it worked out. It won’t take long for Joe to get there.

Anne rushed to respond, her thumbs flying:

No, no. Absolutely not. Do not trouble Joe with this. He has enough to deal with tonight.

She paused to consider her options and added:

I’ll just call for a tow truck. Or find a 24-hour roadside assistance service.

Coraline: If I had my car, I would tell you to call a tow truck, then give you a lift home, but I don’t. You gave me a ride to the station, remember?

Anne: Oh my gosh. I completely forgot. Why didn’t you remind me when I was leaving? How are you getting home?

Coraline: I’m not. Joe’s going to drop me off at his place, a couple of blocks from the station.

She felt terrible for abandoning her cousin. Now Joe had to leave the station while on duty to take Coraline to his place. Anne had caused enough trouble for one night. She couldn’t possibly have him come change her tire.

Anne: Don’t say anything to Joe. I’m serious. Forget I even texted you.

There was no response from Coraline for a long while, which made Anne nervous. Finally, ellipses started rolling on her cousin’s side.

Coraline: Just stay put.

Anne bit her lip, worried that Joe was going to show up despite her very clear wishes. She put her phone on the center console with a resigned sigh. There was nothing she could do about it now, so she would stay put as instructed.

She leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

But after a minute of uneventful waiting, her stomach growled uproariously.

She hadn’t finished her dinner in her rush to get to the fire station, and she certainly didn’t have the wherewithal to eat once she got there.

Now she was apparently starving, if the ruckus in her tummy was anything to go by.

Grabbing her purse, she headed for the convenience store that she had stranded herself next to. She walked in with the familiar bing-bong of a store bell and glanced around. She almost squeaked in excitement when she saw the perfect meal for a night like this—powdered-sugar mini doughnuts.

After picking up a packet of doughnuts in her greedy hands, she headed for the refrigerated aisle and grabbed a bottle of strawberry milk.

The middle-aged man at the counter stared a bit too long at her face.

Afraid he might recognize her, she pushed a ten-dollar bill at him and hurried out of the store without the change.

She relaxed once she was back in her car.

It wasn’t that she was a highbrowed diva.

She enjoyed meeting her fans, and the smiles she offered them were genuine.

But sometimes, like tonight, she didn’t have the emotional capacity to be on .

The fans wanted to meet Anne Lee, the actress, with her perfect makeup and her trademark “angelic” smile.

They didn’t want to see a tired woman with tearstains on her face.

Anne flipped down the sun visor and opened the vanity mirror.

Thank goodness she hadn’t been wearing any mascara.

Other than slightly puffy eyes, she didn’t look like a total wreck.

With a sigh, she closed both the mirror and the visor, then pushed a whole mini doughnut into her mouth.

She hummed, smiling with the simple joy doughnuts brought, and washed it down with some strawberry milk.

A tired woman with tearstains and powdered sugar on her face , she thought with a laugh. She honestly could not find it in herself to care about her appearance at the moment. She just needed to be presentable enough not to scare Joe away.

After a glance at the clock on the center console, she made a quick decision.

If she was going to indulge in her junk food cravings, she might as well enjoy another one of her guilty pleasures.

She figured she had time for a song or two until Joe arrived.

Scrolling through her phone, she found the original soundtrack to her first K-drama as the lead and blasted it on the car speakers.

She never watched one of her own shows, because it was too cringy.

All she could do was give her everything on the set.

Once the show aired, there was no going back.

If she watched herself on TV, she would nitpick at her scenes and wish she’d done things differently, even though she couldn’t do anything about it.

She did enough of that in her personal life.

She didn’t need to torment herself with more impossible wishes.

But she loved listening to the soundtracks, because it reminded her of her favorite scenes—the sweet moments where the characters pine for each other, the heart-wrenching scenes where all hope seems lost, and the exhilarating moment when the characters finally come together.

The songs brought all those memories back to her.

Anne only listened when she was alone, though, because it seemed like such a narcissistic indulgence. She would probably die of embarrassment if anyone found out. Even so, she couldn’t deny she loved it.

With her mouth half full of doughnuts, she tilted her head back and belted out the chorus to the main theme song, holding her fist in front of her face like a mic. She kept singing even when powdered sugar puffed out of her mouth and rained down on her nose.

A knock at her window made Anne jump in her seat.

When she spun to face the window, she saw the bottom half of a broad torso.

Joe was already here. Damn it, Coraline.

Not only had her cousin sent her fiancé, she must have rushed him because Anne hadn’t even finished listening to one full song.

She cringed with embarrassment, hoping Joe didn’t recognize it from the K-drama soundtrack.