Page 93 of Free to Live

Shit. Running my hands through my hair, I stalk back into the break room. Picking up my cell, I type out a quick message.When I’m done with work, I need to see you. I’ve been too many days without you.With a swoosh, it leaves. Anxiously, I wait for a response.

I don’t know how many minutes later it is before I receive a lukewarmOkayin response.

Typing quickly, I ask,Do you mind if I come over?I don’t want to be at my house when we settle this. I want Holly to be around her things so when the memories of when I tell her I love her are in her mind, they’re not entangled with those of Mary.

Mary—and my love for her—has no place in my relationship with Holly.

It’s scary to realize my hands are shaking while I wait for her to respond.Sure. See you later.

“Did you get a hold of her?” Brett comes up behind me while I’m still clutching my phone.

“I’m going over later.” Frantically, I’m typing. Asking—no, pleading—with my mother to keep Grace for the night. Her text,Of course, honey. Give Holly our best, causes a gust of air to release from me. “Now I have to figure out how to get my girlfriend to forgive my stupidity long enough for me to tell her I’m completely in love with her. Not the memory of my deceased fiancée.”

Brett opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. “Yeah, I got nothing for you, buddy.”

“Thanks for your support, asshole.”

50

Joseph

After some finagling with my mom to keep the girls out longer than initially intended, I beat Holly to her house. Letting myself in with the key she’d previously given to me, I search frantically for some inspiration. While I’m doing so, there’s a firm knock at the door. Frustrated because I know I don’t have a lot of time, I stalk over and fling it open.

I freeze temporarily in shock before anger surges through me.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” I growl at Eden and Seth.

“We followed you from the station. We want to talk with you.” Eden sounds as broken as she has for the start of every conversation we’ve had last three and a half years.

“So you stalk me to my girlfriend’s home?” I ask incredulously.

A flash of pain slashes across Seth’s face at my words. “The last time we talked, you denied feelings for this woman.”

“A lot has changed since then.” I lean against the jamb, blocking their entrance into Holly’s home.

“How can you just move on?” Eden whispers.

“Just? You stand there like you have any idea of what I’ve been through. You know who does? Holly.”

“I bet,” Seth sneers. And just like that, I snap and years of secrets come spilling out of my mouth.

“She does, because she was willing to let me go to see me happy, Seth, even if it meant my being with someone else. Something that not even your daughter was willing to do since she got pregnant on purpose.”

There’s a mew of a sound from Eden. Seth pulls himself up to his full height, still several inches shorter than me. “Excuse me? You dare to accuse my daughter…”

“I don’t have to accuse her,” I say flatly. “I loved Mary, and I was thrilled over the news of Grace. Maybe everything would have worked out the way she planned, but life happened.” Shaking my head, I rub my hand over my forehead. “One night I had a little too much to drink after Mary’s funeral. I went into her closet and found her journal. I started reading it to be closer to her. It was in there she admitted to…”

“Stop!” Seth roars. “Stop telling these lies to make yourself feel better about going around with a new woman.”

I see an Infiniti come down the lane.

Holly’s home.

“If you want, I’ll show you the journal,” I say wearily. “I just don’t want Grace ever knowing anything beyond the fact she’s the sun and moon in the sky.”

“Seth, honey, let’s go home and talk about this,” Eden encourages him.

“No! I won’t stand here and let my daughter be maligned by… by….”