Page 105 of Free to Live

My mother doesn’t cry. She’s been the wife of a fireman for too long. This means only one thing.

It’s someone we love who was bitten by the bitch.

“Who?”

“Joey…”

“What happened?”

“Baby, sit down,” she whispers.

“Ma, just tell me who the fuck it was!” I roar.

“Holly.” And my legs give out. “I don’t know what happened, I thought she was with you. But she was at home and was trapped. Brett got her out, but she’s at Greenwich Hospital.”

“I’m heading straight to the hospital.” I hang up on my mother without saying goodbye. Barely remembering to lock the door, I stumble like I’m drunk to the car. I can taste the freshness of the summer air in my lungs. Grasping the hood, one thought repeats over and over through my brain.

My fault.

My woman ran from me and right into hell because of me.

Swinging into driver’s seat, I set speeding records to get from the cottage to Greenwich, where based on Ali’s voicemail, I know I’m likely to be met with a wall of Freemans ready to take me down.

* * *

I was right,and I was wrong.

I was met by Holly’s entire family, but it was only Ali and Keene staring daggers at me across the room. The rest of the Freeman clan were awash with confusion but leaving me a wide berth as I sat with my head in my hands.

We’ve all been in the waiting room for hours while they stabilize Holly’s oxygen levels. The doctor came out earlier to let us know she was suffering from smoke inhalation and some second-degree burns on her hands. Unconsciously, I clench my own in fists upon hearing that. She’ll be unable to do much for herself until her hands heal. Even something as simple as brushing her own teeth will cause them to be more sensitive.

My heart is screaming. If I hadn’t screwed up the most crucial moment of our time together… If I hadn’t said just the wrong thing at the worst time… If…

I’m wrenched from my thoughts by Ali dropping into a chair next to me. “Do you even realize what you did tonight?” Her voice is a brittle rasp.

“I didn’t,” I admit. I lean back and close my eyes. “I got your voicemail and was livid. I found the ring and her note. Then…” My eyes open expecting to meet her infuriated ones. Instead, all I see are orbs of pain reflecting what my heart’s feeling. “I was about to come back to Collyer to beg her to listen to me when I got the call.”

The anger drains out of Ali’s face, leaving nothing but sadness. “Joe…” she starts, but I interrupt.

“Ali, I don’t know why it happened. I close my eyes and all I see are hers. I hear her laugh and the burden of the world falls away. She’s with my daughter and all I imagine is the day Grace will call her Mama.” Ali’s eyes flash at that. “I hold her and the sky never goes dark because all I’m surrounded in is the light of her. I love her. Just her.” I hold her eyes for another half of a heartbeat before I close them again.

I hear Ali let out a breath. “Okay. Joe, if she…”

“When. She’s going to be fine,” I hiss.

I didn’t realize Keene came up behind his wife until he growls, “Cool it, Bianco.”

Taking a deep breath, I let it out. Getting myself in check, I say to Ali, who’s now leaning against Keene, “You were saying?”

“If she wakes up and doesn’t want to see you, I’m not pushing it, Joe.” I go to argue, but she continues. “She’s going to be vulnerable between the fire and what happened. Someone has to protect her.” Keene leans down and kisses his wife’s head.

“Why? Why won’t you let me fix this?” I want to let all of my emotions out at the target in front of me. It’d be so much easier than turning them inward where they belong.

Ali’s lips lift sadly. “Holly’s so scarred by what’s happened to her, she buried her emotions. She fought falling until she could work out the fear of loving someone, trusting them with all that she is. After tonight, she’s going to dive back into her shell.”

No. That can’t happen. Ali must see something on my face because she goes on. “She’s so wise about so many things except her own heart. And then she hands it over for the first time and tonight happens? She’s going to seek out all of those hiding places again until she feels it’s safe to come out again.”

“I’ll wait for her,” I whisper hoarsely.