Page 92 of Free to Live

Her eyes narrow before she booms, “All Rise!” She belts out the announcer’s proclamation used for right fielder Aaron Judge when he steps up to bat. “I even have the MLB Extra Innings package so I can keep up with the games. Just because my boy’s on the injured list doesn’t mean I don’t try to catch every game in the Judge’s Chambers!”

Without missing a beat, I say, “Good, then I’ll bring Grace by your house so we won’t miss watching the Mets.”

Her lip curls into a sneer.

Charlie chuckles next to me. “That’s my girl.”

“Sorry, Charlie, but that’s my girl,” I correct him. “The fact she likes a team that’s been bought and paid for is just a minor hiccup in our relationship.”

As Holly sputters with indignation, I pull her into my arms. Lowering my head, I capture her lips midprotest. She wraps her arms around my neck, and her capitulation is the sweetest thing. By the time I let her up for air, I realize the true blessing of love is the power to exchange pain, joy, laughter, and strength as easily as you exchange kisses.

Because you need all of them to get through the rough roads ahead.

Even if it’s just baseball season.

49

Joseph

I’m on a three-day rotation at the station. I miss sleeping with Holly in my arms. Grace is with my parents though Holly plans on picking her up after a wedding she’s shooting this morning. All the girls, including my mother, plan on getting their hair cut at Shimmer before grabbing lunch.

It’s been two months since Holly and I laid all our shit out. It’s a beautiful summer, but it’s also the busiest time of year for both of us. Not only is Holly working six out of seven days of the week, but summer also brings out all the mischief in Collyer. During lunch, I run into Mike Idrissi when I went to get takeout from Frances’. He said they had six college kids in lockup for drunk driving. I merely rolled my eyes knowing we’d cut that many out from their cars last week alone, and not just the drivers.

“Were we ever that stupid?” Brett gripes when I tell him about what Mike said when I get back to the station.

“Yes, but we were smart enough to call for a ride,” I remind him. “Our fathers would have busted our asses. Hard.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” He pauses before casually asking, “How’s Holly?”

“Great. She had a wedding this morning, but she was going with my mom and Grace to get their hair done.”

Brett’s lips twitch. I shove him. “What?”

“Dude, you don’t even hear yourself. Your world is back in a perfect orbit again—all domestic bliss and shit. You’re so gone for her.”

I shrug. He’s not wrong. I am in love with Holly, though she and I haven’t said the words to each other. We’ve danced around them. I don’t know if she thinks it’s too soon to say, but my heart knows. I’m just waiting for the right time to tell her. I mean, how do you not fall in love with a woman who’s strong, yet vulnerable, who’s been through hell and back, yet isn’t afraid to open up her heart to the possibility of love?

It’s just not possible.

“Is it hard?” Brett asks.

“What?” I furrow my brow at him.

“Being in love with Holly after Mary?”

I sigh. If it was anyone but Brett, I wouldn’t bother trying to make them understand, but this is my oldest friend. “It’s like there’s two of me. It makes no sense, but I’m not the same person I was before the wreck. Mary—she loved this funny guy who was always telling jokes that made her laugh. Until the day she told me she was pregnant, I can’t remember a day I was serious. About anything other than how much I loved her.”

“Joe,” Brett interrupts me, but I keep plowing through.

“It was all-consuming, what I felt for her. I couldn’t imagine a day in my future without her. But that’s not what was meant for us,” I conclude quietly. “Holly? What I feel for her is different because I’m different. I’m not the same man I was then.”

Behind me, I hear a door snap quietly closed. Whipping around, I listen to footsteps thunder down the stairs. With a few quick strides, I’m across the room. I see a flash of sunset hair dash out the door just as I reach the top of the stairs. “Fuck, Brett. Why didn’t you tell me Holly was standing right behind me?” I snarl as he comes up behind me.

“I tried to interrupt.” His face is sorrowful.

“How much did she overhear?”

“Almost everything.”