Page 56 of Free to Judge (Amaryllis Heritage #2)

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

The beeping of her heart monitor is the only sound in the room when I finally step inside.

Yet, Kalie is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

It doesn’t matter that her face is a mottled backdrop of blues and purples overlayed with bandages.

Her arm is tucked protectively to her side.

While pale blue is definitely her color, the hospital gown hangs off her slender frame and is streaked with betadine and other substances I hope aren’t blood.

Her hair, which was glossy and elegant for the Fair Harvard Annual Reunion earlier, is now tangled against the pillow. But none of that matters. She’s conscious. Alive. Still, I’m certain I don’t take a complete breath until her gaze flickers up.

Better still, she’s as stubborn as ever. “I’m fine.”

“Cracked ribs, concussion, and you call that fine?”

“It’s a hell of a bruise to my ego since I was just told I can’t run for the next three months. But I’m not dead.”

I choke on tears and laughter. “Not funny.”

“It is to me. I survived.”

I can’t move closer. Not yet. She’s just a few feet away, but the distance between us makes it feel like miles. Especially when everything about her screams fragile.

“You scared the hell out of me,” I finally manage.

Her head tips back before she admits, “I was scared too.”

Just as I’m about to pour my heart out, the door opens behind me. A doctor—no, an intern—young and annoyingly confident, steps in holding a tablet.

“Ms. Marshall.” He flashes Kalie a smile that lingers far too long. “I’m here to check your vitals.”

She huffs, “I don’t need babysitting.”

“You’re on a concussion watch. We babysit even the unwilling.”

The intern reaches for her wrist. She gives it begrudgingly, amused.

Even as he checks the dial of his watch while holding her wrist, he tries to charm her. “Were you on a photoshoot gone wrong when they brought you in? That dress? Sexy.”

My spine snaps so hard that I’m surprised the chiropractor on duty doesn’t rush down to check on me.

“I try to make dramatic entrances,” she says dryly, glancing toward me.

“You’re something,” he remarks appreciatively, eyeing her.

I want to wrap his stethoscope around his neck and hang him from the nearest air vent. I try to justify that it wouldn’t be murder. After all, hospital staff shouldn’t be hitting on patients.

Right?

Kalie encourages him with a small laugh before groaning and holding her ribs. I shoot forward, but she waves me back. “I get that a lot.”

The intern gives her a wink even as he types in her vitals. “You need anything, just press your call button. I’ll look for your signal. I’m here all night, just for you.”

As the door closes behind him, I scowl, but that doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

“Now, that was fun.”

“Watching me want to squeeze the life out of someone for seeing you flirt with them? If that’s how you get off.”

She lifts her good eyebrow. “Now you know how I felt when I saw that picture. And he didn’t even touch me beyond taking my pulse.”

I flinch. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

“I know.”

“I deserve whatever you’re planning to throw at me for everything. It doesn’t matter how big or small, every hurt I caused I need to fix.”

She nods carefully. It hurts me to watch that uncertainty, not knowing if that’s due to her emotions or the physical pain she’s in. “There’s just one thing I need to say.”

“Say it.”

“I never touched Nerissa with intent. I swear on my life. It was a ruse to keep us both alive. That’s all it was.”

“I figured that out after tonight, but you still didn’t talk to me. You pushed me away, Declan. That’s what hurts.”

“Yeah.” I blow out my breath.

“Take how you’re feeling about the flirty intern and amplify that by a thousand. That’s what I was feeling.”

Knowing the murderous thoughts I entertained just a few short moments ago, I can’t imagine the pain I put her through. My eyes burn as I vow, “I would’ve burned that whole building to the ground to get to you tonight.”

Her lips curve in the tiniest of smiles. “I hope I wouldn’t have been inside.”

Her eyes glance down at her visitor’s chair. “Let’s talk.”

Making my way to her side, I pause. Then I drop to my knees. My fingers grasp the same wrist the intern touched—one of the few parts of her not battered and bruised. “I thought I lost you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I will if I don’t say this right.”

“Say what right?”

I open my mouth to get my apology out when the door opens again and a tall, broad-shouldered man in a white coat, green scrubs, and hospital badge enters while looking down at his tablet. “Ms. Marshall, I’m doc…” His body freezes.

“Declan,” the man accuses. “What the fuck are you doing in my ER?”

Kalie’s eyes flicker between us. “You know him?”

The doctor’s eyes narrow on him. “Oh, I know him. He has a tendency of getting his partners killed—like my wife.”

I rise slowly. “Ben.”

Ben steps inside and closes the door behind him with a soft click. Tension fills the room like smoke. No one speaks until Ben breaks the silence. “She’s my patient. Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I didn’t expect to be here either,” I say. “Not like this.”

“You have some fucking nerve—”

“Enough,” Kalie snaps, cutting him off with what I suspect is her reserve strength. “You don’t get to come in here and accuse him of anything—not after what he’s done.”

Ben’s brow furrows. “What he’s done? You mean other than leave a dead trail of answers surrounding my wife’s death?”

“Your wife died in the line of duty. You don’t get to walk in here acting like an ass.”

“Excuse me?” Ben is shocked by Kalie.

“Declan did everything in his power to find out who was behind it. He went undercover for years. He risked his life a hundred times over. He wanted the answers for Tanya’s death just as badly as you did—for you and your children.”

Ben falters, clearly taken off guard.

“He infiltrated not one, but two criminal empires for her. He rescued me from one of the heads of them,” she continues, gesturing toward herself.

“As for your wife? If she’s half the woman Declan’s told me about, she’d be appalled at the way you’re acting instead of honoring the women she died trying to save. ”

I look down, stunned by the way she’s blasting Ben, how her belief in my mission never wavered, even if her trust in me did.

“Declan didn’t betray anyone’s memory,” she finishes. “He honored it.”

Ben looks from her to me, haunted emotion flashing behind his eyes. Then, with a stiff nod, he turns and walks out. The door closes behind him, cocooning us in silence once again.

Then, Kalie breaks. Her agony due to her injuries fills the room when she moans before reaching for the call button. “God, can someone get me some pain meds? I think I just tore into my only chance at getting any.”

“You show up at a ball looking like the heiress you are, fought for your life and won, destroyed a man’s illusions, and the only thing you’re complaining about is a lack of narcotics?”

“I’m multifaceted.”

I reach for her wrist again, this time not letting it go. “I don’t deserve you.”

Kalie’s smile fades away. Instead, she stares at me with the kind of look that I’ll remember a year from now and hopefully at our fiftieth anniversary. It’s the kind of look that cracks a man’s soul knowing you hurt your woman so deeply, the only thing that will repair it is time.

“No,” she says quietly. “You don’t. But you’ll find a way. One day at a time.”

“You mean that?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t. I don’t throw around forgiveness like Uncle Phil tosses around confetti or Aunt Cori throws frosting.” Then she frowns. “Though either is an option depending on if I do or don’t get some narcotics. Can you work on getting some for me?”

I kiss the inside of her wrist gently. “Whatever it takes.”

“Thanks,” she says, closing her eyes. Then they pop open. “Start with the intern. He seems to like me.”

“Don’t push it,” I whisper.

She smiles before easing back while we wait for Ben to return with the good stuff.

Thanks to Ben, Kalie is well on her way to drifting. Her lashes flutter against her cheeks. I know I could step away, stretch. I don’t dare move an inch.

The silence between us has shifted—no longer heavy with what hadn’t been said, but filled with what could be. I look at the hand she trusts me to hold, the one with the IV. It’s bandaged and bruised. Might be that way for a while, but she’s safe.

Still warm. Still alive.

Leaning back slightly in the chair, my eyes roam over her face in the dimmed light.

Right now, the powerhouse who threw a right hook at me isn’t in sight.

Nor is the glamorous woman who dazzled me earlier tonight.

There’s evidence of the strength of the woman who captured the hearts of the world when she crossed the finish line first, earning her gold.

But even that’s muted. Right now, she’s just Kalie.

My Kalie.

My heart.

She shifts in her sleep, a soft sound escaping her lips.

I lean forward and whisper, “I’m here. Don’t be afraid.”

Because I wasn’t certain she wanted to hear it before, I take the luxury of saying it now. “I love you. You saw me, you judged me, and you made me a better man for it.”

Her hand flexes slightly in mine, even in sleep.

“This started for justice. Closure. Maybe even revenge. But I finished it for you. Because they hurt my firebrand. And I swear to you, not one of them will get away with that.”

Sitting in Kalie’s hospital room, the weight of everything she’d been through presses down on my chest. Tears trickle down my cheeks. I don’t wipe them away as I need them to heal.

As much as I need her.