Page 45 of Free to Judge (Amaryllis Heritage #2)

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

The second I heard her voice, I knew something was wrong.

The moment the web page opened, life as I prayed it could be was reduced to nothing but ashes.

I’m not certain who whipped out their cell this time, but of course, they couldn’t snap a picture of the dead body on the floor. No. Instead, they sold Sexy & Social just enough of a scandal to publish about me.

Out of a one-hour meeting, someone captured the moment Nerissa whispers in my ear, grabbing my shoulder.

Her collapsing, using my body to remain upright as she gasped in pain.

Me grabbing hold so she didn’t land on her ass in front of the very unexpected presence of Jack Marshall and look weak. Because weak would have got us killed.

Did it show later when the mother fucker kicked Chrissi’s lifeless body aside before Jack ordered the body to be cleaned up? Instead of going for his fucking throat, like I wanted to, I had to restrain myself.

None of that ended up on Sexy & Social. Of course not. No, only the pictures of Nerissa’s fake lap dance were front and center instead.

Now, due to my panic this morning, Kalie thinks she means less than nothing to me.

Pacing back and forth, I don’t think. Don’t take time to plan. Just drive from my condo to Kalie’s like a man possessed, engine screaming. My heart slams so hard I’m certain it shakes my ribs as I take corners at a speed I shouldn’t as I grip the steering wheel with one thought on repeat.

If I can just get to her—if she will just see me—she’ll understand. She’ll know I was telling the truth.

She’ll believe me.

She has to.

When I pull up to her street, there’s very little sign of life. Saying screw it to the security protocols I had put into place for me to see her, I drive directly into her driveway, taking note of the very prevalent agents in her driveway.

Dashing up her front porch, my movement sets her security lights ablaze, flooding the property in harsh, sterile white even as none of the interior lights glow.

No movement from inside.

I try ringing the bell, pressing my face up against her doorbell camera.

Nothing. Not a sound.

I try the handle. Try to slam my shoulder against the door. It won’t budge. All the locks have been engaged. That’s when it comes to me. The house is merely reflecting the owner’s wishes.

Both are rejecting me.

My heart trembles in my chest. No. This can’t be the way we end. “It’s not possible.”

A sick, hollow feeling rips through my gut at the thought, but I don’t give it a chance to slow me down. I race around to the backyard like I have every other time I’ve snuck in through the back slider. When Kalie would be waiting on her couch drinking a glass of wine or tea after a long day.

Not tonight.

Tonight, everything is sealed tight. I try to jimmy open the sliders, only to glance down and find metal bars bracing the doors closed. Keeping the threats out.

Including me.

I stumble backward, hope diminishing every second inside me.

That’s when I spot it.

Yes! There’s a single light on inside on the second floor!

She must be home! Deciding that making a spectacle of myself is absolutely justified in this instance, I race back around to the front.

Leaping up to the porch, I shimmy up the Craftsman columns, not caring if the cops are called on me.

Hell, at this point, my actions will just give me credence to the damn motherfuckers I still technically work for.

But when I get close enough to spy in her bedroom window, I fall to my knees against the roof. The room looks like a hurricane tore through it. Clothes are tossed every which way. “No,” the moan escapes my mouth.

Crawling on my hands and knees to the next set of windows, I peek into her office. Her computer’s gone. So’s her favorite photo—the one of her family.

Part of me feels relief—she wasn’t taken. The other part of me feels absolute fear. Where is she? It’s obvious she’s planning on leaving and taking her most cherished item—her family.

But she intends on leaving me behind.

“No! Kalie, no! Come on, firebrand! Please, please, let me in!” I sob. My hand hits the side of the window so hard I know I’m rattling the frame. My brain is calculating everything that happened at warp speed. I shout, “Please, trust me. It’s not what you think!”

Nothing. No sound. No footsteps. No sign she’s even there to listen—or that anyone is other than the agents below.

Terror coils tight in my chest.

Where is she? What is she doing? Is she barricaded alone in there, heart breaking because of a cover? Doesn’t she understand?

“Don’t judge me by those photos,” I choke out. “Don’t—don’t judge us by one fucking lie. You know me better than that. Please, firebrand.”

Still nothing.

I slide down from the extended roofline and make my way around the side of the house.

I try every door and window again, praying for a miracle.

Denied. Kitchen door—deadbolt. A peek in the window shows the alarm set.

Any attempt to break in will trigger a massive onslaught arriving from Hudson’s security team beyond the two in the driveway.

Running around to the garage places me directly in front of the agent’s car. I bend down and try to lift the white door.

Nothing budges.

The two men step out of the car and watch. One blatantly has his camera out and is filming me.

I don’t care.

Let Keene, Caleb, Jon, who the fuck ever get the show of their life. All I want is a chance to talk to Kalie face-to-face.

I continue to call Kalie’s name until my throat turns raw, until my heart feels bruised from over exertion.

I can’t think properly. I know I’m not able to breathe properly.

The one thing I know for certain is every second I can’t give her a full explanation, I’m losing her.

The second thing I know is there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do to stop it.

Stumbling back to the front porch, I land on my ass.

My head falls against the column. Maybe if I stay here, if I stay close enough, someone will take mercy on me.

Either that or she’ll feel my presence and return.

“I love you. I swear to God, I love you. I would never betray you. Please—don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.”

The two agents return to their car, obviously sensing I’m fresh out of entertainment and am not a threat to the house. Inside, Kalie’s lights stay consistent. There’s no trace of movement. I rest my head in my hands, feeling the night crush me from all sides.

I stay until the sun rises, chasing the last light in her house away. Until the sky turns the color of light blush meeting midnight.

Until I know there is nothing to gain by my being here.

She’s gone.

I never got a chance to apologize. Then again, did I deserve it? What reassurance did I give to her that I would mean it?

On shaking legs, I drag myself back to my car. Sliding inside, I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white from the lack of blood. That’s when tears flood my eyes and I can’t see. It takes a long while for me to blink them from my vision before I feel safe putting my car in gear.

After I regain a semblance of control, I drive away.

But I promise myself I’ll be back because there’s no way I’m giving up on her.

Or us.

Not ever.