Page 34 of Free to Judge (Amaryllis Heritage #2)
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Sitting in a corner booth of a diner a couple of blocks away from Kalie’s, I’m repeatedly tapping the face of my burner to check the time.
I’ve been here since nine o’clock, nursing a cup of coffee that’s long gone cold.
She said same time, but there was no way I wasn’t going to be nearby earlier to make certain I was spitting distance away in the event she needed me for anything.
Over and over, I replayed Jon’s words in my head since he cornered me after leaving Kalie’s office. He accused us both of being stubborn. Her text came through in the middle of our conversation. I yielded to his degradation, ceding the point when I added on, “So long as she’s not done with me.”
“You have a chance. Don’t blow it.”
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised when the bell above the door jingles and he saunters in. Striding over, he slides into the booth and drawls, “So, you’re going to make up with Kalie or I might shoot you myself.”
I grumble, “I really regret giving you the ability to monitor my burner phones.”
He flicks his hand dismissively. “That’s for your protection. The side benefit of being able to spy on your personal life is just an added bonus.”
“Another coffee over here?” the waitress interrupts, eyeing Jon up and down appreciatively.
Jon smirks at me before he flashes her a smile. “Please.”
After she recovers enough to leave, I lean back in the booth and cross my arms. “You’re here to babysit me until it’s time for me to head over to Kalie’s?”
“I’m here to make sure you don’t do something stupid like bail.”
“You think I’d do that?” I challenge, but I already know his answer. He’s not too far off the mark. Since she’d texted me, the idea crossed my mind a thousand times. Maybe it would be better for me to walk out of her life now than risk hurting her again.
“Listen, man,” Jon says, his voice dropping to a tone he reserves only for his family. “She’s giving you a chance. Get your head out of your ass long enough to appreciate what that means.”
I nod because what else is there to do? He’s right. That alone pisses me off.
“So, when do you head out?” Jon asks.
I glance at my phone face down on the table. “About an hour.”
“Good. What are you going to say?”
“Everything she needs to hear,” I say, not entirely sure what that means. It’s been just a few weeks, but the words haven’t formed the way they should. The only thing clear is my need to see her in person, and hope they come together when I do.
Jon pins me with a look like he knows every thought running through my head. “Make sure she says everything you need to hear too,” he says, then gets up and walks out.
I watch him leave, still as annoying as ever, and try not to think about how long an hour really is when you’re waiting for it to pass. The waitress watches his departure with a longing in her eyes. She returns to my table and tops off my cup. “Your friend’s cute.”
I grunt in response, not wanting to fuel any more fantasies about Jonathan Lockwood than social media already perpetrates.
Digging a ten out of my wallet, I toss it on the table and make my way out onto the street lit by the diner’s neon sign.
I’ve got time to burn, but I can’t sit still.
Not when everything’s so close to falling apart or coming back together.
Darien’s barely alive at this time of night, with only a few cars driving by as commuters make their way from working late to their multi-million-dollar homes. Despite Jon’s nagging, despite knowing better, I’m tempted to disappear into it all and let Kalie forget about my troubled life.
But I’m too fucking selfish for all that, despite knowing the trouble I’m certain to bring to her door if I walk through it again.
I pull out the burner phone I’ve reserved for texting her and scroll through messages. We each are so careful in how we speak to one another. It’s just another reminder of how dangerous it is to be near her.
The problem now is since I’ve been exposed to her, I can’t stay away. That is what makes this the worst decision. I’m a threat, and she doesn’t even realize it simply because I can drag blood to her doorstep just by breathing her same air.