Page 48 of Fractured Grief (Hope’s Ridge #2)

Indy

I t had been a long week, and while I was glad it was the weekend, Friday had been hard, and the heavy sadness clung to me as I went about our day. Thankfully, Hazel was okay. She’d known it was Lexi’s birthday, but was too innocent to realize what was coming next and seemed fine.

She was up at the crack of dawn, like normal, with no care for how dusty I was after having one too many glasses of red wine after I got off the phone with Seb. After popping a couple of Tylenol, I readied Hazel’s breakfast and had some dry toast. I almost felt human again when my phone beeped.

Bodhi

I’m so sorry for your loss, Indy. We’re all here for you.

It didn’t surprise me that Seb’s family knew about Lexi and that it was her birthday yesterday. They were close, and I was sure Seb would have told them all last night anyway.

Bodhi

Are you doing anything today?

Weird question.

Indy

Thanks Bodhi, it’s been hard. I woke up this morning a little worse for wear but I’m as okay as I can be. Hazel has a sleepover tonight, but that’s it. Why?

Bodhi

Oh, no reason ;)

Would you be up for some large and stoic company?

That was weird. Large and stoic company? Bodhi wasn’t large or stoic. I wondered what he meant when another message popped up.

Bodhi

Atty, Lyric, and your Sebastian are in town with Judy, and we thought you could use some company ;)

Seb’s been desperate to get to you since yesterday .

Oh, that’s what he’d meant. Seb was here. My heart skipped a beat. The first genuine smile of the day lifted my cheeks at the thought of Seb trying and struggling to get to me. He was such a wonderful man.

Indy

Of course, everyone’s welcome. I’d love the company. I have to drop Hazel off around eleven, but I’ll be home after that.

We chatted for a little longer before I gave Bodhi my address and was able to finish up my breakfast.

Hazel was still bounding around the house, choosing what toys she wanted to take, ensuring she had all her coloring books and pencils, and kept asking me when we could leave. I dropped her off with little fanfare and headed home.

I turned down the street, and in my driveway was a truck I’d never seen before, but the large figure leaning against it was one I knew well. I broke into a run as soon as my brain registered that it was Seb and leapt into his arms, kissing him.

Emotions overwhelmed me as Seb kissed me back.

“I missed you so much, Sunshine,” Seb said, and my heart always skipped a beat at his nickname for me.

“I missed you, too,” I said as I pressed my forehead to his.

I was in his arms again. He was here with me. I didn’t have to be alone.

“How are you here? I thought Atticus and Lyric were with you?” I asked. “And whose truck is this? ”

“They are. This was Atty’s truck that he had modified for me to drive. Something you apparently knew about,” Seb teased, and my face heated.

“I did. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t do much, just connected Bodhi with Judy so she could approve the modifications. They were supposed to wait for me for the big reveal. I wanted to see your reaction.” I jutted my bottom lip out in a pout.

Seb just laughed and nipped at my lip before kissing me again.

“Hey, look, a free show.” The words had me jumping, but I quickly realized it was Lyric as he and Atticus walked down the street.

“Hi Lyric. Hi Atticus.” I greeted each of them in turn once Seb put me down. “What happened to waiting for me to reveal the surprise?”

“We thought with your challenging night last night, you could use this big lug as company, so we surprised him early.” Atty jostled Seb’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get him to you sooner. The first birthday is the hardest.”

The thought and care these brothers had for each other, and now for me, blew my mind.

They’d altered a vehicle for their brother, not knowing if he’d ever fully recover, or how long he’d need it.

They’d taken him to all his necessary appointments and supported him with his new driving assessment.

I was extra blessed that Seb was willing to share them with me.

“So does that mean you had your driving assessment today?” I asked Seb, finally putting the pieces together .

“Wait, how’d you know?”

“Bodhi mentioned Judy this morning, and you were standing here by a vehicle by yourself… Does that mean you passed and drove here?” I was elated.

I knew how frustrated Seb was at not being able to drive, but now that he could, he must be over the moon.

“I did and I did,” he chuckled. “It was different but not too hard. I adapted pretty well. I’m so thankful Atty was willing to alter his truck. It’s rare for me to be able to fit in a regular vehicle.”

“Anything for you, bro, you know that,” Atty said as he reached over and tried to pull Seb in for a noogie. Seb was too tall, and his cane got in the way; they sort of just collided together in an awkward tackle hug instead. We all laughed at the absurdity.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry,” Lyric exclaimed. “What’s good around here?”

And with that, we all walked up the drive and into my townhouse. We needed to celebrate Seb’s newest win and another step in his recovery.

We’d settled on Thai for lunch, which was delivered quickly, and we sat around my living room eating and chatting. Atty and Seb were discussing their new mechanic, Asher, and Lyric had mentioned that Theo was back.

I don’t think it was something I’d ever had before. Just sitting around shooting the shit so freely. I loved it. Each of these men had their own personalities and quirks, and it was fun getting to know them all.

We finished lunch, and Atticus and Lyric said their goodbyes and headed back to Hope’s Ridge. I loved that Seb could stay, and we didn’t have to rush our visit.

We settled onto the couch to watch a movie and enjoy the quiet of being together.

“I love having you in my arms,” Seb murmured into my neck, as I sat between his legs on the chaise part of the couch. His arms wrapped around my front. I loved being cocooned in his scent, his strength. Nothing bad could touch me when I was in his arms.

“How are you feeling after yesterday?”

“I’m okay. It was hard, and in ways it might always be hard, but I know that once her birthday passed, her date of death is that much closer. I’m not sure I’m ready,” my voice shook, even to my own ears. “She died on December 14.”

“Oh, Sunshine, I’m so sorry. Is there anything you want to do? My family and I will be here for you and Hazel, whatever you need.”

“Thanks, Seb. I don’t know what to do yet. Her ashes are still in a box in the garage, as I couldn’t find a worthy enough spot for her.” It hurt to think that she was just gathering dust, hidden away. “What did you do for your Pa?”

“Greek tradition is probably a little different from what you’d expect.

On the yearly anniversary, we hold another memorial service called a Mnemosyne.

We gathered like we did when Pa first passed.

We make offerings of koliva and hold a church service, say the Trisagion prayer and hymns, have a memorial feast, and then we visit his grave.

It’s a whole day thing to honor the departed,” Seb answered methodically, his voice quaking, weighed down by sadness. “We hold a smaller version every year.”

“That sounds like a lot. Does it help?” I was genuinely curious.

He had such a massive family that there’d be many people to celebrate and acknowledge his Pa’s life. Lexi just had me and Haze. She deserved so much more. She deserved to be celebrated. I couldn’t help myself as I burst into tears.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Seb whispered as I shattered into a thousand pieces.

Seb just held me, whispering small words of love and comfort as I let my grief take over.

I hadn’t cried this much since I first came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t coming back.

So much had happened this year. Life went on, people forgot, but I still grieved the beautiful, scarlet-haired firecracker that was my platonic soulmate, my best friend, my family.

Seb just held me through it all. He was a solid presence, wrapping around me as I cried.

When my tears finally dried up, I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to move. “Sorry about that,” I muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Hey, you never need to be sorry. I understand better than most and will always be here for you,” he murmured the words into my hair, holding onto me tightly. “You’re not alone anymore.”

More tears welled in my eyes. His words meant so much to me. I wasn’t alone anymore.

We settled in to watch a movie. I was asleep on Seb’s chest in less than five minutes.