Page 14 of Fractured Grief (Hope’s Ridge #2)

Seb

“ Y ou saw th-at right?” I asked Lyric. “His eyes were red and swollen.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to gawk at him. You made him self-conscious.”

“No, I didn’t. Did I?” I worried the back of my neck. “Don’t you feel different after all we’ve been through and found out about Bodhi’s past?” I stuttered out the last words. My speech had improved a lot, but when I got frustrated, it came back tenfold.

“I worry about what we could be missing in those around us. What if Indy’s with someone like Derek and can’t escape?” I panted, worry rising in my chest.

“Bro, chill,” Lyric hissed, running a hand over his five-o’clock shadow. “You need to calm down and use that big brain of yours. Maybe he has allergies or got some bad news. It could be anything . Just because Bodhi was in an abusive relationship doesn’t mean every person around you is.”

Indy was quietly confident, usually self-assured and free with his laughter and smiles. I couldn’t go all caveman for every person who seemed upset. That’d be ridiculous.

Glancing at Lyric, who was looking at me like I’d grown a second head, I pushed his shoulder. “You’re right. I know. There’s just something about Indy. He seems, I d-don’t know, sad maybe.”

“That’s possible, but is it really any of your business?” Lyric looked imploringly at me, his eyebrow raised. “He’s your physical therapist. He’s allowed to have a private life.”

But what if I want it to be my business...

“Who are you and what have you done with the immature jokester brother?” I stammered as I reached for Lyric to bring him into a headlock, but he quickly jumped away from me.

“Oh, no you don’t!” He danced away from me, laughing, his infamous dimple peeking out. “And don’t you try and chase me. That’s not a good idea with your leg.”

“Okay, okay.” I held my hands out in surrender, then grabbed my cane and made my way into the kitchen after Lyric.

“You can t-talk to me about anything. You know that, right?” I made sure to catch Lyric’s gaze.

His eyes were so similar to Pa’s that it was almost a punch in the gut. Like Pa’s ghost was looking back at me.

“Yeah, bro. I know,” Lyric rolled his eyes. “Just focus on your session and stop worrying about every little thing. Focus on yourself for a change. ”

“Seb?” Indy called.

“Yeah, we’re in the k-kitchen,” I hollered, as I moved into the living room so he could see me from the hall. “Do you want some water or a drink?”

“Water would be great, thank you.”

Indy came toward us, somewhat cautiously, like he was worried I was going to start grilling him again. “You’re okay, then?” Passing him a glass of water.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that. I didn’t check myself before I got out of the car and should’ve made sure I was presentable before barging in here looking like an exhausted pigeon.”

“It’s no worry,” Lyric piped up. “This one was going all Neanderthal, thinking you needed saving. I think he has a secret desire to be Prince Charming.”

Of course, Lyric would jump in with even less tact than he accused me of having.

Rolling my eyes, I spluttered, “Really? You just got done lecturing me that it was none of our business, and you g-go and say that.” I swatted him on the back of his head.

“Ouch! Hey! That was uncalled for.”

“It was t-totally called for! Now, screw off. Let me have my session in peace.”

“Language! I’m gonna tell Yaya, and she’ll wash your mouth out with soap.” He poked out his tongue.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I huffed. “Lyric.” I drew out his name in exasperation. He loved to push my buttons. “Go. Please.” I loved my brother, but sometimes he was exhausting.

“All right, all right. I’ll head out and be back before the end of your session so I can make sure you’re not giving Indy, here, a hard time.” With that last remark, his laughter followed him out the door.

“Sorry about that. Lyric has t-rouble with boundaries and can be a p-pain in the ass.”

“It’s fine. My best friend was kind of like that. Always trying to make me laugh. Getting us into all kinds of trouble.” A wistful look crossed his face.

His best friend was like that?

Was the reason for his sadness, loneliness, and tears?

It’s none of your business .

“So, where do you want to do this?” I asked.

“I’d prefer to stay in the house if you think it could work.

” A lump formed in my throat. Swallowing hard, I decided to embrace the honesty Levi had been encouraging me to use.

“I do have a home g-gym, but I haven’t used it since my Pa died.

It’s in the garage workshop at the back of the p-property.

” Even just thinking about Pa and the garage was enough to engulf me and my eyes started to burn.

I didn’t even know I was rubbing over my heart until Indy took my hand in his small one and moved to catch my eye.

“I’m so sorry. Losing someone you love is devastating, world-changing. They say it takes time to heal, but I haven’t found that yet. I’m not sure I ever will. There’s no timeline on grief.”

He was gazing up at me, tears caught on his long eyelashes. “Your best friend?” I asked, hedging my bets .

“Yeah.” His voice cracked as a lone tear broke free and cascaded down his cheek. “It’s coming up on a year.”

“I’m sorry. The first year is the hardest. It’s been over three years for me, and the h-heartache never seems to go away.”

We gazed into each other’s eyes, sadness for our lost loved ones bubbling under the surface, but in kinship, too, at seeing the same grief reflected back.

The desire to protect surged in me again. I wanted to be able to take his pain away. I wanted to make him smile again.

Indy was the first to break out of our trance, hurriedly wiping away his tears. “Sorry.” He took a step back, dropping my hand. “I’ve cried enough for one day,” he said with a forced chuckle.

Raising my eyebrow at his words, I silently implored him to continue.

“Her birthday’s coming up. It’s been a hard week.” That was all he said to my unasked questions.

“First one without her?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, and Hazel’s started acting out, too. I think it’s affecting her more now that we’re settled into our house and routine.”

I couldn’t help but reach out and pull him into my arms. He was so slight against me.

So delicate, so precious. He leaned into my embrace, his head resting on my chest, right over my heart.

He fit perfectly in the cradle of my arms. I couldn’t help but give in to the impulse to breathe him in as peace settled over me.

This felt right in a way nothing else ever had.

We stayed like that. Locked together, taking comfort in the fact that we weren’t alone in this moment before what he’d said finally broke through to my brain. “Who’s Hazel?”

Indy jumped a little at my voice as it shattered the fragile trance we were in. Indy took a step back, looking a little shaken. “Oh, ah... She’s my daughter?”

Why did that sound like a question? Wait, daughter? Holy crap, Indy had a daughter. Indy was a dad. I had a crush on a dad. Wait a second. Was Indy even single? I was so shocked by the news, I stood frozen on the living room rug for far too long.

“Ah, Seb? You okay?” he asked, hesitantly, like he was waiting for me to berate him in some way.

Shaking myself out of my stupor, I finally got my mouth to work. “S-sorry, I had no idea you were a dad.”

“Yep, she’s my world in a newly sassy, eight-year-old little package.”

Eight! But Indy was only twenty-five. As the thought registered, I glanced at Indy and watched him flinch and step away from me.

“You did the math. Yep, I was a teen dad.” He’d put more distance between us and shuffled his feet, looking nervous.

“Wow, and you put yourself through school and everything while parenting an infant? I’m impressed.

It was just a shock to hear you’re a dad.

I didn’t realize you had a partner, let alone a daughter.

” I tried to smile as my stomach sank. Stupid hormones, choosing now to come to life and choosing the wrong person.

I was chastising myself, so lost in my thoughts, I almost didn’t hear his next whispered words.

“I don’t have a partner.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Oh, separated? S-sorry to presume. I’m confus—” His best friend. Fuck, he’d lost his best friend, partner, and mother to his child in one hit. “Shit.”

“Yep.” He was looking down at his shoes, shrinking in on himself.

“Oh, Indy, I’m so sorry,” I stuttered out as I moved forward, needing to hold him as my heart broke for this man and his daughter. “Is Hazel okay? Do you have any support since you moved? I don’t even know what to say.”

Indy fell apart; his small body racked with sobs as he sagged against me. This man was just as broken as me. I held him and let him embrace his grief. At least he seemed to face his; I couldn’t even go into my garage and look at an old car.

Indy’s sobs soon turned to sniffles as he pulled away. “Oh my God, I’m a mess. This is so unprofessional. I’m sorry, Seb.”

He turned away from me as he tried to regain control. I didn’t want space between us, but I understood.

“Hey, it’s okay. If anyone was g-going to understand what you were going th-rough, it was me. You can’t help when you’re hit by gr-grief.” I reached down to the coffee table, grabbed the box of tissues, and handed them to Indy .

“Thanks.” He paused to wipe his face and blow his nose. He looked exhausted. “I’m usually much better at compartmentalizing. I’m sorry. Please, let me reschedule this appointment, and I’ll explain everything to Carol so you won’t be charged. Again, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about any of that. T-take a breath. You’re more important than any appointment. Plus, you got Lyric out of my house for a while. I sh-ould be thanking you.” I tried to lighten the mood and ease his mind a little.

Indy’s gaze snapped to mine, looking wide-eyed. “I’m important?” he said in a hushed whisper.

“Yeah. If I’ve l-learned anything from what happened, it’s that t-taking care of your mental health is as, if not more, important than taking care of the body.”

A small smile finally softened his face. “Thanks, Seb. Just saying that means a lot.”

Lyric chose that moment to burst back in, loudly, suddenly, and in a very Lyric way, causing both of us to jump.

“I’m back,” he singsonged as he entered, until he took in each of us and Indy’s tear-stained face. “What the fuck happened to you two?” Rushing forward, he quickly stood between me and Indy. “What did you do to him?” he asked harshly, forcing me to take another step back.

“Nothing, you idiot. Calm down.” I glanced at Indy. “We have a shared experience. It was upsetting. T-that’s all.” Well, that didn’t sound great.

“A shared experience?” Lyric parroted, voice laced with disbelief.

“Yes.” I looked at Indy’s flushed face .

“Are we talking sexual experiences? Oh, I’ve got tons of them!” He looked between the two of us as my stoic expression fell into place.

Really Lyric?

I love my brother . I love my brother , I repeated in my head, so I wouldn’t thump him.

“Then, why is he crying?” Lyric whispered to me, even though I’m sure Indy could hear him, as he started to laugh.

Lyric looked at Indy, then me, then back to Indy. “What’s so funny?” he asked. “Is Seb really that bad at sex?”

“Oh my G-god, L-lyric! Would you please shut up!” I was totally exasperated at his idiocy. “Can you just mind your own b-business!”

“Okay, okay, jeez. You’d think getting laid would’ve mellowed you out.”

“You are one of a kind, Lyric,” Indy said, still chuckling. “For your information, we were talking about losing a loved one. I’m your brother’s PT, so definitely no sex was involved. I’m kind of worried about your past therapy experiences, since your mind went there.”

Lyric switched tracks in an instant, waggling his eyebrows at Indy. “If you were my PT, my mind would go there all the time.”

Indy flushed bright red.

I snarled at Lyric. “Do you have to flirt with every p-person you come across?”

“When they are as cute as Indy here, absolutely,” he winked at me. The little devil knew exactly what he was doing .

Indy’s face was still bright red, but he was handling Lyric’s antics surprisingly well. “Well, thank you for the compliment, Lyric, but you’d be a little much for me. I prefer a more reserved personality.”

“Reserved, you say, like Seb. He’s as reserved as they come. A stoic, silent giant, my brother is,” Lyric added conspiratorially.

Trying to save Indy and stop Lyric from putting his foot farther into his mouth, I snapped, “Why are you back so early? We hadn’t even had a chance to s-start my session.”

“Oh, I... ah... I forgot something. I’ll just hang out in my room. Holler if you need me.” And with that, he raced down the hall and up the stairs.

“I’m s-sorry—”

“He really—”

We both spoke at the same time.

“You go first,” I stammered.

“He’s not like anyone I’ve ever met. My best friend was adventurous and a little wild, but nothing like Lyric. He’s in his own league.”

At least Lyric’s antics had lifted the heavy cloud of sadness from the room.

“Oh, he’s one of a k-kind. He’s actually very similar to my Pa, but times like a thousand,” I chuckled. “Anyway, should we attempt part of a session or s-skip it and go for coffee?” I hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud.

Indy checked the time on his smartwatch. “There’s just over a half hour left, so we can do some stretches and mobility exercises if nothing else. You okay with that? ”

“Sure,” I shrugged.

Indy looked around at the large living room, assessing. “We can do most of it here. Can we move the coffee table?”

“Yeah… that’d be fine.” I stepped forward to at least help, but Indy stopped me.

“Don’t even think about it,” he said in a stern voice that sent a shiver down my spine. “I’ll do it, and if I can’t, we can call Lyric for help. You shouldn’t be shifting heavy furniture around.”

I kind of liked this bossy, authoritative shift. My face heated.

Indy matter-of-factly lifted my heavy wooden coffee table and moved it off the area rug to the side of my extra-large L-shaped couch. He went to his equipment bag and pulled out a thin rubber mat and resistance bands. “Come on, hop to it. We’ve got to make the most of the time left.”

And with his voice still stern, I jumped into action.