Page 41 of Fractured Grief (Hope’s Ridge #2)

Seb

H e loved me.

He loved me, too.

I was so overwhelmed by love and joy, I couldn’t help but embrace Indy and cherish having this incredible, strong, and loving man in my arms.

He’d dug his way under my walls and shared his captivating sunshine smile with me, and I knew my life would never be the same.

I meant what I said; he was it for me.

I’d fallen hard and fast and didn’t want to let him go.

We kissed and laughed on my bed. I was getting all sorts of exciting ideas with Indy squirming on top of me when Hazel burst into the room.

“Tickle fight,” she hollered as she jumped on my bed and attacked both of us with her tiny fingers.

Indy must be ticklish as he screamed and wriggled away.

I was left to cop the brunt of it. I wasn’t particularly ticklish, but her soft and pokey fingers managed to find the one spot on my ribs that was, and I squirmed like crazy.

Indy soon joined in, and they both ganged up on me. I tried in vain to fend them off.

“Uncle, uncle,” I chuckled as we all laughed and flopped into a wonderful snuggle pile. I had Indy on one side and Hazel on the other. I’ve never felt more whole.

Indy smelled like happiness and something uniquely his. While Hazel smelled like strawberries and chocolate, probably from her shampoo and the cookies we’d been baking.

The oven timer went off.

Hazel popped up, quick as a cat, and bolted from the room, shouting, “Cookies, cookies, cookies.”

Indy chuckled but quickly followed her. “Wait for us, Haze. Don’t touch anything.” He sent me a soft smile. “We’d better hurry or she might try to do it herself.”

I rose from the bed and followed Indy out, grabbing my cane by the door.

In the kitchen, Hazel was bouncing in place, trying to see into the oven, but thankfully didn’t touch anything.

Indy put on oven mittens, pulled the cookies out, and placed them on the cooling rack. The scent of the freshly baked cookies intensified, filling the house with the delicious aromas of sugar and chocolate.

“We’d better make the hot cocoa,” I said as I gestured for Hazel to hop up onto the chair I’d placed near the stove and prepared for her to add the ingredients to the pot .

“Can you please grab the measuring jug of milk out of the fridge, Indy?”

“Sure,” he said, as he smiled at me sweetly.

Hazel and I had prepared all the ingredients, and I had her add each one to the pot before turning on the gas and handing her the spoon. I guided her to stir slowly, and we watched as the chocolate melted and all the ingredients combined to make our cocoa.

It was almost ready when I glanced over to see Indy watching us with love in his eyes. “Want to take over while I get the mugs and marshmallows?”

“Sure.” His cheeks flushed so prettily I couldn’t resist kissing him as I passed.

Once I had the mugs ready, Indy guided Hazel to sit on one of the kitchen stools and plated the cookies.

I set mugs in front of Indy and Hazel, watching as he helped her ration her marshmallows after she tried to tip the whole packet into her mug.

A few spilled out, and she quickly snatched them up and popped them into her mouth, beaming mischievously at Indy.

She was too cute for words, but I could tell she’d be a handful as she grew up.

We sat around the kitchen island, enjoying our snack, and my heart swelled at the sense of home and life these two created.

They filled the darkness with light and made hope bloom in my heart, the grief of my Pa softening because these two souls shone so brightly.

I almost couldn’t contain the emotions welling inside of me as I watched these two interact.

They had a special bond, forged in heartache, and I don’t think I could love them more.

We were finishing up our drinks when Lyric came home. He seemed subdued but not more so than was usual for him lately. He took in our rather domestic scene.

“You made cookies without me,” he gasped, playfully.

“There’s some left. You can have it and help us next time.

” Hazel hurried over to Lyric and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the kitchen and making him sit down before she pushed the plate of cookies in front of Lyric.

“Mr. Seb and I made them so Daddy could rest. They’re extra yummy.

We made hot cocoa too, but there isn’t any left.

You can have the rest of mine.” She was so adorable as she offered Lyric her nearly empty cup.

“Oh no, that’s okay. I’m happy to have my cookies with milk. You should finish your cocoa.” He rose to get himself a glass of milk. “These cookies look delicious!”

“They’re pretty good. Not the same as the ones I made with Mommy, but still yummy,” Hazel explained.

Lyric looked as lost as I did when Indy spoke up. “Snickerdoodles were Lexi’s specialty. She used to make them with chocolate buttons on top. That’s probably the cookies Hazel’s referring to.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how to make snickerdoodles. Chocolate chip are the only cookies I can bake,” I shrugged.

“Don’t worry, Seb. These cookies are good, and we can teach you how to make Mommy’s special snickerdoodles next time.” Hazel ran around to hug me as she spoke .

“I’d love to learn, Hazel. Thank you,” I said, beaming at this little girl who’d come to mean just as much to me as her father.

Hazel ran back to Lyric, and they sat at the counter chatting. Indy made his way over to me, and I opened my arms, loving the way he slotted right in.

He reached up on his tiptoes to try and kiss my cheek and pulled me down to whisper into my ear. “Thank you for embracing Hazel and letting her into your heart. It means the world to me.”

“Anything for you. She’s amazing. Thank you for trusting me with her,” I whispered into his ear, loving the way his body shivered. “I love you both.”

His smile was sunshine. “Really?”

“Of course.” I leaned against the counter with Indy in my arms as we watched Hazel and Lyric chat animatedly about something.

Hazel’s sweetness made my brother smile, and that alone lifted my spirits. He was so good with her. While in many ways, he was still a big kid, I knew he’d make a great dad one day, if he wanted.

I needed to talk to him about the appointment I was going to book for him. I’d happily go with him; we all would. We took care of our own.

Resolve rose in me as I watched them. We would help Lyric deal with whatever came next.

For the rest of the day, we all chilled, chatted, watched movies, and played Uno.

Hazel continued to draw Lyric out of his musings and encouraged him to sit with us on my three-seater couch, as a family.

It was sweet how she endeavored to include him every chance she got.

She kept trying to make him smile, and I could tell Lyric couldn’t help but be charmed by her.

We decided on homemade pizzas for dinner, and we all helped make them. Hazel loved placing the cut-up toppings on each pizza, and she and Lyric kept stealing and eating cheese and other toppings, thinking we wouldn’t notice.

The giggles coming from those two warmed my heart and gave me hope for Lyric’s future and his own recovery. He’d always had a big heart, and seeing him be playful and mischievous with Hazel was somewhat of a relief. The old Lyric was still in there.

Once we were all full and dinner was cleaned up, we readied ourselves for bed.

Hazel made Lyric promise to stay the night and insisted he be the one to read with her before bed.

The expression that crossed Lyric’s face at her insistence could only be described as a look of awe. “I’d be honored, Miss Hazel.”

Hazel beamed at my brother, not grasping the gravity of the situation as she bounced off to brush her teeth, shower, and get ready for bed with Indy.

“You okay, bro,” I asked, as Lyric watched them leave.

“Ah, yeah.” Lyric blinked as if coming out of a daze. “You’ve found yourself something special here, with those two.”

“I know.” I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face or the warmth that danced in my heart.

“Recovery has been hard, but they are pure sunshine. I wouldn’t like to get shot again, but the fact that the situation brought me Indy is something I could never fault.

He’s it for me,” I whispered those last words, knowing with my whole heart, they were true.

“I’m so happy for you, adelfós. I’m so glad you’ve found him.” The air around us felt heavy with the weight of his words. “Pa would have loved him and Hazel.”

“You think?” I wish Pa had a chance to meet Indy, Hazel, and even Bodhi. To see any of us settle down and find happiness. For him to become a pappoús.

“Of course, man. You said it yourself. He’s pure sunshine and positivity. Ma already loves them. You think Pa would have been any different?”

“I guess not.” I turned to face my brother. “I miss him.” The words didn’t feel like enough. Of course, I missed him. He was my father, my idol, my best friend, my mentor.

“Me too. Every day,” Lyric’s breath left him in a woosh .

I tried not to dwell on the first year or two after we lost Pa. I fell apart; we all did. It still haunted me. It took me ages to get the prone form of how I’d found him out of my head. His lifeless eyes stared at the ceiling.

“You know we’d help you face it, right?” Lyric’s voice was like a jolt to my system as I’d zoned out. “We’d help you with the workshop and Pontiac, too.”

I absently rubbed over my side, where my ruined tattoo was.

The bullet had nicked my liver, and the surgeons had had to cut through my tattoo to get the bullet and stop me from bleeding out.

Now my Pontiac, Hope’s Ridge, and Orion constellation tattoo was bisected with scars, stitches, and uneven flesh.

The more I thought about the damage, the more nauseous I felt.

“You okay?” Lyric asked cautiously.

“Yeah,” I croaked out. “Just need a sec.”

Thankfully, Indy and Hazel were exiting my room as I made my way to my bathroom. I sent Indy a nod as I passed, needing a moment to gather myself. He flashed me a worried look but followed Hazel as she bounded over to Lyric, book in hand.

I hurried into the bathroom and braced myself in front of the counter, breathing deeply.

I thought about Levi’s CBT instructions and noted five things I could see, touch, and so on.

Once I’d calmed my nausea, I slowly lifted my Henley, my hands shaking as I revealed the still-angry scars and my damaged tattoo.

I flung my shirt off and gazed at myself in the vanity mirror.

I ran my hands over the area. The Pontiac and mountain range of Hope’s Ridge were slashed, broken, and distorted; nearly unrecognizable.

But, not fully aware and not in a state of panic and despair, I noticed the Orion constellation, which represented my Pa, was undamaged.

My heart beat double time as I reverently traced the stars at the highest point of the tattoo just under my right pec, across my ribs.

It had been over three years, and while this tattoo had been a tribute to my Pa, the fact that the constellation was undamaged and the fact that I hadn’t been able to notice before now, nearly brought me to my knees.

Silent tears tracked down my cheeks. He was okay. I was okay.

He was gone and I missed him fiercely, but he lived on, as a tribute on my skin, in my blood, and that of my brothers. He was always a part of us. It felt like something had changed. He was pushing me to face my grief.

I was so caught up staring at my scars, I didn’t hear Indy join me in the bathroom. His soft hands traced reverently over my back.

“You okay?” he asked, embracing me from behind.

I really thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I think so,” I said as I turned in his arms. “I’m sure it was in my notes about my damaged tattoo and how I reacted, but I’d never taken the time to fully look at it.

I was so stuck on the damage and pain; I kept it covered and ignored it as best I could.

But now, I can finally see that my Pa’s okay.

” My mouth lifted in a sad smile as tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

Sadness, relief, and acceptance churned inside me.

Indy reached up to wipe my tears away and caressed my beard. “Your Pa?”

“Let me show you.” I reached for his hand and brought it to the constellation.

Moving his fingers over each star that made up Pa’s namesake.

“This is the layout of the Orion constellation, which was Pa’s name in the stars.

” I moved his hand down, closing my eyes at the sensitive touch to my scars and trying to visualize the tattoo’s layout before its destruction.

“These were the mountains and lookout of Hope’s Ridge, which Pa and I would hike every week.

” I moved his fingers down over my side, last rib, and to my stomach, then down to my pants edge.

“And this was the 1964 Pontiac Tempest Convertible on the winding road into Hope’s Ridge.

We were in the middle of restoring it when he died.

It was his dream to find and restore this model. ”

Having Indy’s gentle hands on my tattoo healed something inside of me.

His touch made my skin come alive. I hated anyone touching or going near my scars, even to change the bandages.

He was the only one, and for him to be touching those scars without any reaction or anger felt like a reverent moment.

I blinked my eyes open to find him gazing up at me, love shining in those pretty, multi-colored irises.

“Seb,” his voice broke on my name. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m honored. ”

“Thank you for being my sunshine.” I was nearly overwhelmed by my love for this man. I needed him more than I’d ever thought possible. “ My sunshine .”

Not wasting any more time, I leaned down and kissed him, vowing to show him just how much he’d come to mean to me.