Page 10 of Fractured Grief (Hope’s Ridge #2)

Seb

T he meeting with Judy and the discharge team went well.

Ma had accepted Lyric taking over my care and planned to help him move to my place this week.

They would get the house ready for my return next week.

I was thankful I had progressed enough to be able to go home, but I still felt torn.

As much as I’d improved, my leg was still mostly numb.

I’d had this vision in my head that I would be back to normal by the time I head home.

So in some ways, I didn’t feel ready. In others, I couldn’t wait to have my own space again and all the comforts of home, my family, and my town.

Only nine more days.

My appointments with Levi have been transferred to his external practice, and I will receive a schedule of Judy’s and Indy’s appointments, as well as all the doctors’ follow-ups, this week.

It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that my life was never going to be the same.

These injuries may continue, or they may fully heal, but I will always carry the scars.

“Good morning,” Indy’s cheerful voice broke through my reverie.

“Morning,” I croaked out.

“Whoa, someone’s grumpy,” Indy grinned.

“Am not,” I totally was.

“Come on, you’ll go home next week. Things are looking up.” He held my gaze as his megawatt smile grew. That cheerful expression always melted me, even at my lowest.

My lips quirked of their own volition.

“Yes! A tiny smile, I’ll take it. Now let’s go to training room two today.”

Indy moved to the side to give me space to get out of bed and head for the door. He pointedly glanced at my walker. With a put-upon sigh, I pulled the damned thing to me and let it precede me out the door.

“I saw that. No grumbling. We need to take care of that knee today. Anyway, when we get to the training room, I have an alternative for you to work with that might feel a little better.” Indy walked fast to keep pace with me.

He felt even smaller than Yaya, possibly because of his compact size, but Yaya seemed bigger, with her bold personality, mannerisms, and no-nonsense demeanor.

“What else could I poss-ibly u-use?” I grumbled.

“You’ll see. Let’s just say it isn’t as intrusive as the walker,” Indy said, still radiating sunshine.

When we arrived, Indy took me through the routine warm-up stretches and strength training. Once we’d finished our usual exercises, he took me over to the parallel bars and presented me with a simple black cane.

“What’s that f-f-for?” I asked.

“This is the surprise I was talking about. You could move from your walker to this cane, and it will allow you a little more maneuverability,” he said, beaming at me.

I stared at the cane like it had teeth.

Indy’s sunshine dimmed as he took a step forward to gaze into my eyes.

“Hey now, don’t let your pride take over.

Pause and think for a second. Many people of varying ages and abilities use canes.

It doesn’t age you. It’s what can help you now.

” He placed his delicate hand over mine at my side and squeezed it, sending pleasant tingling up my arm. He always seemed to know what so say.

Taking a deep breath, I did as he’d suggested. I thought about how unobtrusive the cane looked. It was a simple stick of strong plastic—or metal, from the looks of it—with a black handle and dark gray rubber foot. Okay, I could do this.

“Let’s give it a-a t-try,” I said.

“Good choice.”

He guided me to stand on the outside of the parallel bars with my left hand on the bar and the cane in my right.

It was hard to get my leg to cooperate and to trust a light metal stick to hold most of my weight.

After what felt like hours, I’d finally made it the length of the bars only using the cane.

Even as sweat trickled down my back, warmth settled inside me and grew as I looked up at Indy, who was vibrating with pride and joy .

“How did that feel?” he asked.

“S-surprising-ly good.”

“Yay! I’m so glad. It even managed to drag a smile out of you.”

Bringing my left hand to my face, I ran it over my scruffy beard.

I was smiling. A full, wide grin, and I hadn’t even felt it.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled like that.

Overcome with happiness, I took a few steps toward Indy and lifted him into my arms and somewhat stupidly spun us in a circle on my good leg, like some deranged hulking ballet dancer.

Indy was so surprised that he gripped my shoulders tightly as a laugh bubbled out of him, and I didn’t think I’d heard a sweeter sound.

“Okay, okay, be careful,” he smacked my shoulder. “Put me down right now before you hurt yourself.”

Setting him down, I shifted to lean safely on the parallel bars with both feet on the floor. Indy was right; that move had been risky, but I’d been so overcome with joy, I’d just reacted.

Indy’s face was flushed as he smiled at me nervously. “So, I take it you’re happy with the cane then?”

“Yes! It felt like I was walking on my own. I almost felt free ,” I sighed out the last word as dueling emotions overtook me. “Is that weird?”

“Not at all. Just think about when you first got here and couldn’t walk. You’ve come so far, Seb, and you’ve done all the work. You should feel so proud of this and everything you’ve accomplished.” Indy’s face softened as he gazed up at me. “You know what else? ”

“What?”

“You just spoke all that without any stutters, slurs, or pauses,” he said, beaming at me.

My mind was reeling. Had I really done that? “That’s good, right?” I asked, as a new hope sparkled in my chest. “That’s got to be g-good.” Just as quickly as the high hit, I crashed as my last word stuttered out.

Indy gripped both my hands and held them to his chest. “Hey,” he said firmly, causing me to shiver. “It is great, Seb. All those words is progress . Don’t lose hope. It’s not going to fix itself overnight magically, and only one stutter in a few sentences is fantastic. Be proud!”

We were standing close, our bodies almost touching as a heaviness settled around us.

He was radiating pride and happiness. A source of joy too perfect for this world. I wanted to live in his light and keep his sunshine all to myself.

The warm feeling in my stomach turned to butterflies as I studied his multicolored eyes. We seemed to move together, holding our gazes as we swayed closer.

Indy’s cheeks flushed as he broke eye contact and shifted, moving a step away while rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah... I think we should call it for today. Let’s end the session on this win, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he sputtered, looking at his feet. “Let’s head back.”

He exchanged the cane for my walker, and we made our way to my room, but something had shifted. I wasn’t sure what it was as silence settled over us like a cloud.