Page 7

Chapter Seven

ROWAN

I thought Taylor was going to cry from the chewing out we got on Friday. Fitz didn’t seem to know the full extent of what happened the night before, but he knew half his starting lineup was showing up to practice looking like they’d been dragged backward through a garbage disposal.

Fitz is a fair guy and wouldn’t begrudge the team a bit of stupidity after our first win, but we’ve all had to learn the hard way that you can’t bring that shit onto the field. As soon as he picked up on everyone’s state, he had us running wind sprints until half the squad was throwing up.

When we get back to the locker rooms, I open my phone to another series of texts from my dad.

DAD

Hey bud, have my messages been coming through?

You played great on Thursday

Proud of you

Have you given any more thought to next year?

Would hate to see all that talent go to waste

A headache starts to creep in as I type out a reply, the same reply I’ve been giving him for months.

Rowan

You know what I’m doing next year

Dad

I know what you say you’re doing

Rowan

I signed the contract, it’s happening.

We’ve been over this

Dad

I guess I just keep hoping that you’ll see reason

You’re NFL material, son

Don’t throw that away

Rowan

I can’t keep having this conversation with you

I’m not entering the draft

I shut my phone off, knowing if I keep going I’ll end up hurling it across the room. I let myself sink into the hum of conversation and laughter around me. It doesn’t matter that I’m still pissed at the guys, being here with them is exactly the distraction I need right now.

It takes until Sunday night for me to calm down enough to swing by the team house. I’ve spent the last two days stewing, and it’s more than just annoyance at having to clean up their mess yet again. I keep thinking about the fear on Ruth’s face and remembering that my teammates put it there.

I hadn’t planned on coming by so soon, but Christian asked if I’d finish going over the footage with him. Part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, that he needs to talk to one of the assistant coaches instead of coming to me every time he has a question, but I can’t bring myself to go there. I don’t need to give him another reason to distance himself from me. I’d known things would probably work out this way when the guys got wind of next year’s job, but the sudden shift in the way they treat me has been an unpleasant shock.

When I first showed up at Beaufort I was a scared kid with no friends. I’d gone against my dad for the first time in my life by choosing this team, and I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. The guys gave me someplace to belong, a family. I owe them everything, and that fact that they’re pulling away from me feels like a knife in the gut.

The house smells of stale takeout and unwashed workout gear as I pull the front door open, and I thank myself for the hundredth time that I don’t have to live here anymore.

“Christian?” I call out.

The sound of heavy footsteps thunder down the stairs as he rounds the corner, his dark twists flopping over his excited puppy expression. “Hey, man!”

Even the coldest bastard would crack if they saw that face. “You got something to show me?”

“Let me grab my phone.” He spins on his heel and charges back up the stairs, leaving me in the front hall. I move into the living room and sit on the couch, careful to avoid the spot with the broken springs.

Christian crashes around upstairs, I picture him digging through all his shit to try and find the phone. God damn, that kid. Some days, I’m tempted to strap his belongings to him; I’ve seen him lose everything he’s ever owned.

The front door opens again and Darius strolls in before stopping short as he sees me. His head whips around like someone’s about to jump out and I wonder for a second if he’s going to bolt. “Hey, Rowan,” he finally chokes out.

“Darius.” I give him a nod.

He shuffles from foot to foot, looking anywhere but me until he finally settles. “Hey, I actually wanted to say I’m really sorry about-”

“It’s fine,” I cut him off, knowing where he’s going. Darius is a nice guy and I appreciate him apologizing, but he knows as well as I do that it’s not him I’m pissed at. “Don’t mention it, Darius.”

“I just feel really-”

“I know you do,” I cut him off. “But honestly, it isn’t me you should be talking to.”

“I know,” he sighs, “I want to. But how would I even get in touch with her? I can’t exactly go talk to her at the game.”

I shrug in agreement. Ruth deserves an apology from the team, but having it all come out at the game would only cause problems, especially if the Allbreck guys got wind of what happened. That is if they don’t know already.

A thought occurs to me and I sit up, resting my elbows on my knees. “They’ve got social media accounts for the Toad.”

“Like, slide into her DMs?” He shoots me a mischievous grin.

I throw a cushion at him. He dodges it and it sails past him, crashing into the table by the door. The whole thing tips precariously for a minute and it looks like it’s all going to come crashing onto the floor. Luckily, Darius is a starter for a reason. He’s fuckin’ fast and manages to catch the edge and right it before it can totally topple over. The only thing he can’t save is something big and green that hits the floor with a muffled thud.

“Oh shit,” he huffs, bending down to pick it up. “Ro?”

My heart leaps into my throat as I see what he’s holding. Two green gloves, felt strung between each oversized finger to form webbing. Shit. Those are Ruth’s gloves. The ones I pulled from her hands whilst sitting way too close, noticing the feel of her under my palm way too much. I quickly stand, crossing to take them out of his hold.

“Fuck, okay.” I frown. “I’ll deal with this.”

“Shouldn’t we just throw them out or something?”

“No,” I snap. I know that I should, that I should just forget I ever saw them and move on from that night, but I can’t quite go there. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Are you sure? I can-”

“I got it, man.” I pull my jacket back on, giving him a quick slap on the shoulder as I pass to the door. “Tell Christian I’ll catch him some other time.”

“You’re going now?”

“Yeah.” I don’t give him any more than that, not sure I even can. I don’t understand the urgency that’s suddenly roiling through me, but it’s all I can think about. I need to get these back to her. I need to feel like I’ve made at least one small thing right from that night, and the thought of anyone else returning these makes my teeth ache from clenching my jaw.

By the time I’m back in my car, I’ve got the app open and I’m tapping out a quick message, hoping that Ruth runs the account herself and that it’s not some marketing manager on the sports administration.

@ainsleyrow_

Looking for something?

I attach a picture of the gloves sitting on the passenger seat, careful to frame out all the crap I’ve got stuffed on the floor.

@allbreckugunther

Is this Rowan?

I don’t even care, whoever you are you’re my savior!

@ainsleyrow_

Who says I’m saving you? I could be holding these for ransom…

@allbreckugunther

what’s your ask?

My thumbs stumble over the screen. What can I say that’s funny? I shouldn’t care, but for some reason, I really, really want to make her laugh.

@ainsleyrow_

I want some mascot secrets

Not that funny, but I guess it’ll do.

@allbreckugunther

ESPIONAGE

I knew you played dirty

and here I was thinking you were a gentleman

@ainsleyrow_

I don’t know where the hell you got that impression

@allbreckugunther

well you did try and feed me, that earned you at least ten chivalry points

@ainsleyrow_

how many points did I lose for stuffing it with shit that could kill you

@allbreckugunther

I wouldn’t have died

maybe just thrown up a little

@ainsleyrow_

do I need to be worried about what else you’re not telling me?

any other life-threatening issues I should know about?

I don’t know why I’m saying it. I don’t need to know a thing about her, but for some reason, the words come naturally.

@allbreckugunther

just the axe murderer who lives on my block

@ainsleyrow_

am I gonna have to fight them to get these gloves back to you?

@allbreckugunther

probably

@ainsleyrow_

well, I guess needs must.

@allbreckugunther

you’re really gunning for these chivalry points aren’t you?

@ainsleyrow_

I’ll have you giving me a handkerchief as a favor by the end of the day.

@allbreckugunther

I’m swooning already

@ainsleyrow_

save it for when I get there, I want to see my handiwork

I blush a little reading back my message. I don’t know what she’s done to me, I’m not a man who blushes.

@allbreckugunther

are you actually coming?

@ainsleyrow_

yeah, I mean if you want?

@allbreckugunther

My hero! OMG yes please!

@ainsleyrow_

I can bring them by now? What’s your address?

Even as I send the message, I know it’s a supremely fucked up idea. I have no business going to Ruth’s place, even just to drop something off. I don’t know her well, but that girl has danger written all over her.

@allbreckugunther

I’m at 183 Cartlidge Terrace, the big red building. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Text me on this number when you get here, I might not be by my computer

She attaches a screenshot of a contact card and I quickly save it.

@ainsleyrow_

You’re not on your phone?

@allbreckugunther

nah, I don’t have the app otherwise I spend all day on it.

@ainsleyrow_

Got it, should be there in 30.

@allbreckugunther

See you soon! Thanks Rowan!

Even as I listen to the familiar sound of the engine turning over, I know that I’m in way over my head.