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Chapter Forty-Eight

ROWAN

T he picture Ruth sends me almost puts me into a fuckin’ coma. Christ, what is she doing to me? I’m sitting in the locker room before the game; the overpowering smell of deodorant and adrenaline permeates the air so hard it’s making my eyes water, and on my screen is a selfie of Ruth, sitting on my bed, wearing my jersey. The fabric at her shoulder is slipping off slightly, revealing a strip of tanned skin and the hint of a green bra strap.

I want to bite my fist.

What the hell am I meant to do with this? I’m about to go into the game that’ll decide if we’re going into the conference finals, and all I want to do is get in my truck, drive back to Beaufort, and have my way with her.

Shit, things were a lot easier back when I wasn’t interested in sex. How does anyone get anything done?

“Who’s that?” Jasper asks as he flops down next to me, his mouth half-full of a protein bar.

Fuck. Panic stabs at me. I hit the lock button and stuff the device back into my pocket without thinking. Jasper raises an eyebrow as he takes a slow bite, his curiosity peaked.

“Anything you wanna tell me?” he says, a crumb coming loose and flying somewhere past my face.

I shift in my seat slightly, the words right on the tip of my tongue. It would be so easy to say, ‘ this is my girlfriend, Ruth.’ But even as I want to say it, wanting to make Ruth a part of my life, I can’t quite silence the part of my brain screaming that this isn’t the right time. We’re about to play the most important game of the season, and if I get into this now, it will only open up a world of questions. Why didn’t I say something sooner? Where did we meet? What the fuck am I doing seeing someone so closely connected to the team that we’ve hated for so long?

Jed’s only been back from his suspension for a month, and half the team is still on probation because of what happened. I don’t think they’ll take it well that I’m dating the girl who reported them, even if it was all entirely their fault.

Soon. Soon, I’ll figure out the right time, the right way, and I’ll tell the guys everything. Even if it makes me a coward, even if I hate myself as I say it, I can’t bring myself to shatter what already feels like a tenuous kind of camaraderie.

“Rowan?” he draws the word out, my silence only fueling his shit-eating grin.

I almost tell him it’s nobody. But I can’t do it. I can’t deny her, not when she’s fuckin’ everything to me.

“Someone I’m hanging out with.” The words taste bitter in my mouth. I just need to buy myself some more time, and maybe then I can figure out how to dig myself out of the hole I’m in.

“She’s hot.” He knocks his shoulder against mine and I want to bare my teeth at him. I’ve never had a possessive streak before, but something about Ruth makes me want to tuck her away in my apartment and hoard her like a dragon.

“What’s gotten into you, Ainsley?” Jed calls from across the room. He reaches back and grabs a towel to hurl our way. I dodge it and shoot him a glare, not wanting to think about why it’s damp. I’ll miss being part of the team, but I’ll be glad to get out of this fuckin’ petri dish.

“Some gi-”

“Shut the fuck up,” I cut Jasper off, my voice quiet but laced with menace. He looks over in shock, not expecting that kind of reaction. I didn’t expect it myself, but I can’t have him turning this into a whole thing. I know these guys, once they get a whiff of something I’d rather keep quiet, they’ll turn into a pack of vultures around a carcass, not stopping until they’ve picked it clean.

“Sorry,” he mutters, and God do I feel like an asshole. It’s not his fault, but I need to knock this on the head.

Jed looks like he’s going to push the issue, but thank God for Fitz. Coach sweeps in like my guardian angel and gets going on one of his pre-game speeches. It’s hard to look at him, knowing I’m doing everything he warned me away from. He told me to be careful, to not do anything that could draw attention to the team after everything we’ve been through. The last thing this man needs is another potential scandal, and I’m bringing it right to his doorstep.

He starts the way he usually does: play with our hearts, act as one, remember the plays, but soon, he’s getting into territory that has my gut sinking.

“Allbreck think they’ve got this all sewn up, they think they can coast on their legacy and that nobody’s gonna threaten them, but I say fuck that!”

The guy’s cheer, but all I can do is stare at my clenched fists. Fitz continues, “We gotta get through this one game for our shot at showing those assholes what kind of team we’ve put together this year. We’re gonna teach them who the fuck we are, that we’re not just breathing down their necks, we’re way out in front. We’re gonna show them that they’re in a whole new league this time. This is a new era for Beaufort, and they’re not gonna know what’s hit them! Now get out there and get this done so we can focus on the game that really counts.”

He gives a hard clap, dismissing the team, and the locker room descends into chaos. Backslaps and yelling, guys jumping up and down, and everyone doing the final checks of their gear before we head out of the tunnel and into the roar of the Beaufort home crowd.

By the end of the game, I’ve got a nasty set of bruises across my ribs, a gash on the back of my hand from someone’s boots, and a shirt made up more from sweat than fabric, but we fuckin’ won.

The atmosphere in the stadium is electric as we make it to our first conference final in seven years. I can barely hear my own thoughts over the sound of the packed house.

Every noise blurs into one until I almost go numb to it, like the sound of blood rising in my ears. I’m dimly aware of being jostled about as guys shake my shoulders in celebration, or knock into me in the post-game chaos. The crowd rushes the field and there are bodies everywhere, joy and anticipation and a little bit of fear take root as I try to fully comprehend what’s just happened. We’re in the God damn final. We’ve got a shot at the playoffs for the first time in my college career.

On my last year, my final chance, we made it.

But, though I’m loving every second of this moment, standing on the field as we try to soak it all in, I can’t help the nagging sensation at the back of my mind that something’s missing. I turn to see Darius sweeping his girlfriend into his arms, prompting whoops and yowls from the guys as he dips her in a deep kiss that leaves her blushing. I want that. I want Ruth here, to share this moment. The desire to have her next to me is so strong I can almost convince myself that I feel her hand in mine.

What the hell am I doing? I’m wasting all this time I could be sharing with her, all because I’m too much of a chickenshit to just talk to my team. What kind of a leader am I if I can’t have a conversation with them and trust them to hear me out? What does that say about our relationship if I feel the need to hide myself from them?

I don’t have the answers, but I do know that I need to get back to my girl.

I don’t waste time changing when I get back to the locker room, I just grab my shit and head out to my truck. Coach is going to bitch me out tomorrow for not sticking around, but right now, I couldn’t care less. It doesn’t take me long to get home and I bound up the stairs two at a time, desperate to see her.

I don’t know how I was expecting to find her, but it isn’t with Trevor in the kitchen, music blaring as he yells instructions from the coach.

“No! Use the other knife!” He drops his head against the armrest.

“They’re all the same!”

“Have you ever seen a utensil before?”

“Shut up! This is why you got banned from my kitchen!”

“Oh, it’s your kitchen now, is it?”

They’re arguing like children, and it feels like we’re seconds away from someone throwing something. With Ruth currently holding a knife the size of her forearm, I’m hoping she’s the one who keeps a cool head.

“What’s happening?” I interject.

“No!” Ruth yells, covering her face like that’ll stop me from seeing her. “You’re not meant to be back yet!”

Fuck, she’s cute.

I drop my stuff and walk over to her, bracing my hands on the island either side of her hips. “You’re not happy to see me?”

She doesn’t look out from where she’s hiding. “You ruined the surprise.”

I peel her hands away, revealing pink-stained cheeks and a scrunched-up nose I want to kiss. “What surprise, Frog?”

“She was gonna try to kill us both,” Trevor chimes in. “I think she wants revenge for last time.”

“I was cooking,” she says sheepishly.

“Same thing,” he drawls.

I look around the counter and see the ingredients for enchiladas. Trevor must have told her that they were my favorite.

“Ruth.” I give her a soft smile as I rub my thumbs against her palms. “You didn’t need to do this.”

“I wanted to do something nice to celebrate.”

“Coming home and finding you here is my something nice.” I mean it, if I had my way, we’d go get all her stuff and move her in today.

She leans into me, wrapping both arms around my waist. I hug her back, resting my cheek against her soft curls.

“I wish I could have come,” she mumbles.

She wasn’t able to get a ticket on such short notice, and an ugly part of me was relieved I got to avoid the questions from the team for a while longer. “I know, baby.”

“I got sauce on your jersey,” she whispers.

I pull back. She gestures to the hem, and I see a red stain against the pale blue fabric. I take a deep breath, raising an eyebrow. “You know, if this is how you’re gonna treat my clothes, then we need to have a serious conversation about whether you can wear them or not.”

Her eyes glint with mischief and she pouts. “But then what would I wear?”

“I’m sure we could get creative.” My heart rate picks up. “But first, I’m really gonna need that back.”

“Then I guess you’re gonna have to take it off me.”

Before I can reply, she takes off running. I bolt after her, ignoring Trevor’s disgusted cries. She has one hand on the handle to our room when I catch up with her, flattening her against the door, my arms either side of her head.

“Did you really think you were gonna win that one?” I growl into her ear.

“Maybe.” She giggles. “I’m scrappy.”

I whirl her around and toss her over my shoulder as I open the door. I pause for a second, worried that this might upset her after the incident with the team, but when she keeps laughing, the knot against my ribs eases.

“Put me down!” she squeals. I have to clamp my arm over her thighs to stop her from rolling out of my grip.

“You asked for it,” I huff as I toss her onto the bed.

Her hair fans around her like seaweed on the shore as she beams at me. I crawl over her, covering her body with mine.

“Now then,” I murmur into her neck, “are we gonna have to have words about you respecting my clothes?”

“I think I’m gonna need a more hands-on demonstration.”

I can’t help the snort that escapes me. Her face flushes beet red in embarrassment. “That was meant to sound sexy.” She scowls.

“Everything you do is sexy.” I lift off just enough to loop a hand under her, flipping her onto her stomach and pulling her up by the hips. “This okay?” I nudge the tip of my nose against her ear, our bodies flush against each other.

She grinds back into me in response, mewling out something that doesn’t sound like words, but is definitely enthusiastic.

“I’m confiscating this.” I slowly push up the hem of my jersey, revealing the smooth expanse of her back. I let out a groan when I see that sometime in between her taking that picture and now, she’s taken off her bra. Sneaky girl.

Ruth’s breaths come fast as I free her head, careful not to catch any of her hair. I strip off my own shirt, only realizing how dirty I am when I see the item strewn on the floor.

“Do you want me to shower first?” I ask, even as I’m curling my fingers under the waistband of her leggings.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” she pants.

I make quick work of the rest of our clothes and place hot kisses down her spine, only stopping to grab a condom from my bedside table.

Once I’m safe, I return to her, wrapping both arms around her waist in an effort to get her as close as possible.

“Please,” she moans into the mattress, fists bunched beside her. I don’t need any more encouragement and press in, my forehead finding a home in the dip between her shoulder blades.

God, I’ll never get tired of this, never stop wanting her, never stop feeling this desperate, clawing urge for her.

I’m so fuckin’ done for, and I don’t give a damn.

We move together, Ruth bucking back into me as I match her pace. Her skin turns dewy from my breath as I push harder, trying to get deeper. The noises she’s making, the way she moves and clutches at the sheets, drives me higher and higher until I can’t hold on anymore.

I reach down between her legs, determined to get her there before I fall over the edge. With slow circles of her clit, she starts making unintelligible sounds as she pulses under my hand, her climax overtaking her. It doesn’t take long until I’m with her, the two of us collapsing onto the bed.

I roll us so I’m not crushing her, but keep her pressed against me, nuzzling my face into the back of her neck as I breathe in that coconut scent from her shampoo. “Did you learn your lesson?”

“Yes,” she mumbles dazedly, “but I don’t know if it’s the lesson you were trying to teach.”