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Chapter Thirty-Four

ROWAN

RUTH

Your butt looks cute in those pants

Rowan

You’re gonna get me in trouble

RUTH

Ask the camera guy to zoom in for me when you get back out there.

Rowan

Have you always been this annoying?

RUTH

I was trying to tone it down

Rowan

That was you toning it down?

RUTH

TRYING being the operative word.

Rowan

Failing.

RUTH

Shut up. It still worked.

Rowan

Depends on what the goal was.

RUTH: I wanted you to like me, asshole.

Rowan

Oh.

Yeah.

Then I guess it worked fine.

RUTH

hehehe

You LIIIIIIIIKE me

Rowan

Well, yeah?

RUTH

You LIKE me, like me

Rowan

I mean, I would hope so.

You’re my girlfriend, obviously we like each other.

RUTH

I am?

Rowan

Yeah?

I thought so.

We’re dating right?

Ruth, you are my girlfriend right?

“ A insley! You with us?” Fitz yells as he walks into the locker room. I quickly lock my phone and tuck it into the bag at my feet. What the hell did Ruth mean? She was messing with me, right?

I tap my feet in a frantic rhythm against the floor, trying to keep my mind in check. I know I need to focus; we’re tied up at half-time and I need my head in the game, but I can’t keep myself from spiraling. My hand itches to get my phone out, to call her and demand answers.

I’m about ninety-five percent sure that Ruth’s my girlfriend, but I’m not exactly well-versed in the whole dating routine. I thought I’d been pretty clear about where I stand, but now I’m not so sure.

I shake my head. Hell, I don’t need an answer now. If she’s going to tell me I’m an idiot, then she can do it after the game. I have a job to do, and a team counting on me.

I barely listen to Fitz’s speech, knowing the whole thing by heart anyway. By the time he finishes, I’ve mostly managed to banish thoughts of Ruth. My head thuds against the locker as I tip it back, squeezing my eyes shut and letting the hum of conversation wash over me.

The knot in my chest loosens as I settle into the familiar rhythm of the team, the guys laughing and hyping each other up. I’ve never been one to get so rowdy, but something about it is infectious and I grin, my brain clicking into ‘game mode.’ I stand up and grab my helmet as we start to file out, everybody jumping to slap the top of the doorway.

I gotta get this done, then I can tell my girl exactly where I stand.

I’m not able to check my phone until we’re at the bar. I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else, but I was very clearly told I was not allowed to hang out in my hotel room. It’s some dive bar with sticky floors and cracked leather in the booths, but they have good beer, and the owner agreed to keep the kitchen open for another half hour so we could eat.

Almost as soon as I’ve sat down with my drink, I pull my phone out of my bag, my fingers tripping over the screen in my hurry to open up my messages. I’m greeted with a flurry of texts, one timed right after I last messaged Ruth, another just after the game ended, and another string from about an hour ago.

RUTH

I mean, I hope so :)

Ruth

Congrats! Your butt was definitely the highlight.

Ruth

You good?

I’m sorry if I was weird earlier

I know we haven’t had the whole ‘define the relationship’ talk but I sort of figured that’s where we were at?

Sorry to bombard you, I know you’re probably busy.

I don’t mean to be a ‘clingy girlfriend’

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, most guys only call their girlfriends clingy if they secretly hate them.

I don’t think you hate me, just to be clear

I didn’t mean to lump you in with all other men.

The messages stop after that, but I can feel her panic from seventy-five miles away. I give Darius a quick tap on the shoulder, shooting him an apologetic smile as he huffs at having to get up right after he slid in. I head out the back door to the alley that separates the bar from the shop next to it. Luckily, there’s nobody else out here and I can call Ruth, huddling against the wall to try and avoid the chill.

Ruth picks up on the first ring, and I wonder if she’s been waiting for my call. “Hey.” Her voice is pitched higher than usual, like she’s trying to come off casual.

“Hey there, girlfriend.” I can’t help but grin, loving the taste of the word.

Ruth laughs through a groan and I can just imagine her covering her face with her arms.

“I’m sorry about all that.”

“Don’t be. I like hearing from you.”

“What, you like eight texts in a row?”

“I like as many as I can get.”

That silences her, and I hear her let out a long breath. “Okay,” she whispers.

“I miss you.” I don’t realize how true it is until I say it, but all I want is to see her. It feels crazy to be down this bad after this little time, but I think both of us know there’s been something going on for far longer than either of us admitted.

“I miss you too.”

“I’ll come by when we’re back in Beaufort.”

“Now who’s clingy?”

“I never said I wouldn’t be a clingy boyfriend.”

She pauses. “I like hearing you call yourself my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I like it too.”

“God, we’re turning into one of those awful couples.” She laughs.

“At least we’re not making out in line at theme park.”

“That’s a very specific example.”

“Those people deserve jail time,” I deadpan.

“I think it’s kinda cute.”

“It should be a felony.”

She laughs at me. I know I must look a fool back here, arms wrapped tight around myself and grinning down the phone, but it’s the happiest I’ve been since the bus pulled out of campus this morning.

Usually, I’d be riding the wave after a win like this, but I just want to get back to her. The sound of the bar door jolts me upright, and I realize I’ve been out here a while. If the guys haven’t already noticed my absence, then they will soon.

“I’d better go. I just wanted to check in.”

“Okay,” she says, sounding noticeably happier than she had when she picked up. “I’ll see you sometime tomorrow?”

“You bet. I’ll text you when we hit the road.” I finish the call and shove my phone into my jacket pocket.

“You got a girl we don’t know about, Ainsley?”

I whirl around, trying to school my expression. Jed stands leaning against the brick, a cigarette held loosely between his lips as he leans down to light it. It takes him a couple of tries, the wind not helping, but eventually, he gets it and stands back up to pin me with a stare.

What am I supposed to say? I flounder, wondering how much he’s heard, if anyone else is out here too. I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to approach the subject of Ruth with the guys. I don’t want to keep her a secret, but I know if I do this wrong, it could all blow up and ruin everything I’ve got going with the team. No matter what I say, they’ll see it as a betrayal, but there must be something I can do that can keep things to the smallest shitshow possible. I just need time to work out what that is.

I know whatever I tell Jed will be all over campus before we get back, and to be honest, he’s the last person I want to find out about this.

“Just Trevor,” I go with, hating myself as the lie rolls off my tongue.

“Sure.” Jed raises an eyebrow.

I offer him a tight smile before I head back in. I wince a little as the volume hits me. They’ve started playing music, and I catch a couple of guys busting out some ill-advised moves on the makeshift dance floor.

I pick my way back through the crowd to the booth, where I can see Darius valiantly making sure nobody takes my spot, or my drink. I’m about halfway over when a girl slides in front of me. She’s pretty, with dark hair and only a little shorter than me, but when she puts her hand on my chest, I feel like ants are crawling under my skin. I don’t even let her finish her sentence, probably asking to dance or if I’ll buy her a drink.

“I have a girlfriend,” I say with a polite smile. She takes a step back, unbothered but not about to press, and heads back to her friends. By the time I make it back to the guys, I’m ready to get out of here. The thought of spending time with anybody right now gives me a headache.

I quickly say my goodbyes and head out to walk to the hotel. I make it about five steps before I have my phone out again, already hitting her contact.

“You miss me that much already?” Ruth asks once she’s picked up.

“I’m clingy, I guess.” I shrug. “I’m walking back to the hotel, you wanna keep me company?”

“Sure! You didn’t wanna stay and celebrate?”

“We are celebrating.”