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quinn

J T and I are focused on Thursday afternoon when we meet up to work on our project. I don’t regret any of what happened on Tuesday night, but I also really need this grade to be good. It seems like JT agrees because he is all business as he sits beside me at my desk late that afternoon.

We have a plan set out for our project and we’ve even managed to source some algae culture and the nutrient solution from Mr Allan, the teacher who runs the biology program in Evergreen’s agricultural science school. In fact, both he and Mr Peters are quite excited about our idea, and I expect Mr Allan will be quite a useful source of knowledge.

Mr Allan has already set up a small aquarium for us in the biology classroom and has most of the equipment we need. I am excited about this project and I think JT is too. I admit it seemed a little pipedream when we first came up with this idea, but I can actually see this working.

JT rubs his eyes and stifles a yawn. I take that as my cue to start finishing things up. I know what I’m like when I’m working on a project. I can easily get carried away and end up working all night. But I know JT has a packed week with his basketball commitments and I’m pretty sure we’re way ahead of the rest of the class on this project anyway.

“Want to call it a night?” I suggest, his big green gaze hitting me. My stomach twists as it always does when he looks at me, but I ignore it like I always do. I’m getting a lot of practice with pretending JT doesn’t faze me. Tuesday night a most obvious case in point as he lay spread out on my bed beside me.

“Yeah, I guess so,” JT agrees.

“You alright? You seem tired.”

“No, I’m fine. Just had a big training session last night.”

“If you’re not too tired I was going to suggest we drive to the school carpark and practice some driving on the way home?”

JT sits up straight in his chair. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were serious with that offer or not. I’ve had plenty of people offer to teach me to drive and not follow through.”

“I don’t say stuff just for the fun of it,” I assure him.

“Yeah. I’m getting to see that.”

“So? You want to get going?” I ask, climbing to my feet. JT shoves his laptop and notes into his backpack, in a hurry to get moving. He’s so cute and I find myself smiling again, something I do a lot around him. We call out a goodbye to Mum and beeline for my WRX in the driveway.

I drive us back towards school, the sun low on the horizon but still with enough light for JT to be confident with driving. The school is basically halfway between our houses, so it is not long before I am pulling up into the now empty carpark. I put the car into park and let it idle as I turn in my seat to JT who is bouncing nervously beside me. The late evening sun paints streaks of orange and gold across his face and my attraction to him slams me in the gut.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

I clear my suddenly dry throat. “You want to take over?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. We step out of the car and switch seats, JT clicking on his seatbelt and carefully checking the mirrors.

“So, where are you at with driving?” I ask.

“I’ve driven my grandparent’s car a few times,” he tells me. “And Trey lets me drive around the block.”

“Okay, cool. Go ahead then,” I prompt.

He’s so freaking adorable as he shifts the car into drive, gripping the steering wheel in the ten and two positions. He’s cautious as he moves the car forward but he’s steady and calm. I feel myself slowly relaxing.

He drives around the carpark a few times and then we try a few manoeuvres. He only freaks out when he tries a reverse parallel park. I end up with my hands over his on the steering wheel, guiding him through the steps and hoping like hell he doesn’t feel the rapid beat of my pulse from the touch of our hands.

“There. Perfect,” I say, my voice a little too husky for my liking as JT completes the move.

“Huh,” he says, looking around at his near perfect park. I cautiously withdraw my hands from his, trying not to draw attention to the movement. I don’t miss the way his cheeks have flushed. I force myself to look away. “I don’t think I could have done that without you.”

“You want to try it again?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he agrees, clearing his throat. “Maybe you could help me one more time?”

Do not read into it — do not read into it, I drill into my head as JT moves the car back into position and I slide my hands onto his again. His skin is warm to the touch and his fingers are smooth and I like it way more than I should. JT completes the reverse parallel park with no hesitation. He smiles as I move my hands back to myself and I can’t help grinning back.

“That was perfect,” I encourage.

“I think I’m getting the hang of it,” he agrees, green eyes catching the fading light. “Thanks again for this, Quinn. I really mean it.”

“It’s no trouble at all.”

“You have such a great car,” he adds, glancing around at my wheels which I am admittedly quite proud of.

“A guilt present from my dad.”

JT swivels in his seat, attention fully on me now. I don’t mention my dad all that often, if ever, and I’m not even sure why I did just now.

“Where is your dad? If you don’t mind me asking,” JT asks. This is a question I am well versed in shutting down but for some inexplicable reason I find myself swivelling towards this boy I hardly know and yet feel so drawn to that I know I’m going to tell him everything. Things even my closest friends don’t know.

“Just the usual story of abandonment,” I shrug, aiming for casual. “He walked out on my mum and me when I was ten.”

“Shit, Quinn,” JT says, his tone so genuine I glance up into his big green eyes. “That sucks.”

I scoff out a laugh. “Yeah, it sucks. It sucked even more when he moved straight in with his affair partner.”

“Serious?”

“Yep. They ended up moving across the country to Perth and I’m pretty sure he has a few more kids now. I don’t know though. I don’t keep in touch with him much and if we ever do talk I don’t ask questions.”

“Really? You never see him?” There’s so much concern on his face and the sincerity of his interest strikes something deep.

“I’ve seen him maybe four or five times in the years since he left,” I shrug. “But he’s never missed a child support payment, and he still sends money to me even since the court order lapsed. He bought this car for me too. I walked out of the house on my sixteenth birthday to find a tow truck leaving it in the driveway.”

“That’s … wow. I’m not sure what to say about that,” JT mulls, expression thoughtful. “I mean, it’s cool that he cares enough to make sure you are provided for, but I guess that’s not really what a kid wants.”

“Got it in one,” I agree, liking how insightful he is. “But I hardly know him now so I don’t feel his loss like I did when I was younger.”

“Yeah, I know but still. That really sucks for you.”

The car is silent, the heaviness settling between us as JT chews on his bottom lip, clearly bothered by my story. I am at peace with it now though, have had enough years and expensive therapy to close that chapter on my life.

“Sometimes I wonder whether I’d be happier in a broken home,” JT says, his voice pitched so low I have to strain to hear him.

“Why, JT?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I feel wrong saying this to you since you actually live it. I know I should feel grateful for being in a family like mine.”

“No one can make you feel things you don’t truly feel,” I say, realising JT probably needs to hear this. “What’s your relationship with your parents like?”

“They’re hard on me,” he admits. He leans his head back against the head rest and I wish I could reach out and take his hand again. “But not in ways you might expect. They give low priority to my education and zero priority to my basketball. Like, if I came home with a report card full of Ds they wouldn’t comment on it other than to accuse me of spending too much time with girls. They expect full commitment and prioritisation of family above all else. They always expect me to be at home.”

“So, is this a problem for you? Hanging out with me?”

Those green eyes hit mine and I have to swallow as I feel a wave of his emotions hit me. “In some ways it is. But don’t worry, it’s not like it’s going to stop me.”

“That’s a relief. Can I ask another question? Is it just the time outside of school? Or would they also have a problem because I’m gay?”

JT is silent for a few moments but his eyes haven’t left mine. I feel myself holding my breath.

“You don’t need to sugarcoat it for me,” I add.

“Okay. Then yeah, they would have a problem with you being gay,” he admits quietly, confirming what I suspected. “But just to be clear, I don’t have any issues with it. With you.”

“Thank you, JT,” I say.

“Your mum is obviously cool about it,” he comments, those eyes still on mine.

“Yeah, my mum is the absolute best.”

“You’re lucky.”

“I know.” Neither of us speak for a while but his eyes are still on me. I feel him everywhere. “Probably better get you home, hey?” I finally say, needing words to fill the space between us.

“Yeah, course,” JT agrees, instantly moving into action. I hadn’t meant to hurry him along but I sense he feels some kind of overwhelming gratitude to me for this very simple driving lesson.

I don’t need his gratitude though. Everybody deserves to learn how to drive and I was lucky enough to have a mother with the patience of a saint who taught me everything. JT clearly doesn’t have that and it bothers me to no end. It’s just another one of the reasons I want to step up for him so much.

Of course, there are probably quite a few other, more selfish reasons in play, reasons I am trying to shove down deep inside me where they belong, but I can’t help the way JT makes me feel. Really, it’s his fault anyway for being so damn cute and adorable and plain irresistible. And he has this innocence and a hint of helplessness about him that just calls to me in ways I can scarcely control.

After all, I am but a mere mortal and nobody can claim to be completely immune to a gorgeous face and a pretty smile. Especially when that face and that smile belong to JT Sterling.