Page 18

quinn

J T is a little tease and I can’t concentrate. It’s Tuesday after school and he is at my house, sitting beside me at my desk where he is supposed to be working on his maths homework. He’s not working on his maths homework. He’s distracting me. And doing a very good job at it I might add.

“Don’t you have a maths quiz tomorrow to study for?” I rasp as his hand tightens on my thigh and his mouth traces my neck.

“Yes but I seriously doubt another twenty minutes is going to make any difference for me,” he says, grip sliding an inch higher.

“I tell you what, give me half an hour to finish my English paper and I’ll give you a blowjob,” I try to bargain with him.

“I was kind of hoping I could give you the blowjob,” he replies. All the air whooshes out of my lungs at those tempting little words, words I had not expected to hear from my shy boy.

“Is that really what you want to do?” I ask, needing to be certain we’re not just going along here at my pace.

“It’s what I so desperately want to do,” he replies, pulling back to look at me. Those puffy pink lips taunt me in a way that has all my willpower flying out the window.

“Okay then,” I rasp, English paper instantly forgotten. He grins at me and it’s all I can do to smile back as he leans forward and plants his mouth on mine.

Next minute we’re kissing frantically, all hands and teeth and tongues as JT pushes me back into my chair and grapples with my pants button. There’s no decorum here, just a sense of desperation now that we’ve both given in to what we really wanted to be doing anyway.

JT drops to his knees as he pulls my pants down my legs, leaving me completely exposed to him. His eagerness melts away as hesitation takes over but it’s gone just as quickly. He visibly steels his resolve, laser focused on what he wants.

“Tell me if I get this wrong,” he says, his shyness and innocence shining through in a way which has me groaning.

“Nothing you do will be ever wrong, JT,” I assure him. But it’s impossible to be the one in control right now with the way he is focusing so hard on me. I’m already a mess and he hasn’t even touched me yet.

That changes when he reaches out a soft hand, gripping me gently.

“Fuck, I love this,” he whispers, almost reverently and I have to bite down on my hand to stop from whimpering.

As much as I want his mouth on me, I also want him to know there’s no expectations here. I’m about to vocalise this when he decides he’s going to just jump right in and lowers his mouth to me. I swallow my words.

JT is tentative at the start, but this is already the best blowjob I’ve ever had, and he’s barely begun. His confidence slowly kicks in as he gets into a rhythm, and he flashes me a grin. His focus is impressive though as he carefully eases down lower on me.

I don’t know what it is about this guy but he is very quickly becoming everything I didn’t know I needed as he concentrates on making me feel better than I have ever felt before, his warm, eager mouth making up for his inexperience. The fact he is inexperienced does not bother me in the slightest. It just makes me want to ensure everything we do is special for him because you can never get your first times back and I don’t want any regret for him.

He flicks those green eyes up to me again and I nearly pass out at the sight he makes on his knees for me. I can’t stop my hand from sliding into his curls, not to control him but just to ground myself because he is sending me crazy. I’m having to try really hard to keep myself still because I don’t want to scare him off from his first time but damn, he is making it hard. I drop my head back onto my chair and widen my legs as he goes to town on me.

“JT,” I rasp as I give in to the inevitable, realising too late we haven’t discussed how this ends. But he just looks up at me and then it’s all over way too fast, leaving me a mess and his eyes blown, chest heaving.

“You okay?” I ask, sucking in air to reinflate my lungs.

“Very okay,” he replies, still slightly dazed.

“Want me to return the favour?” I ask, eyeing him suggestively.

“Oh yes,” he repeats, nothing but eagerness. I smirk at him as I pull us both to our feet and tackle him onto the bed, right where I want him. I make quick work of removing his pants and then there is nothing stopping me as I lean down and take him into my mouth where I’ve been imagining him since we did this last Friday.

He tastes as good as I remember and I waste no time making him feel as good as he just made me feel. The sounds he is making suggests I am succeeding as he curses and grips my hair in his grasp as he falls over the edge.

I collapse beside him afterwards, noting his head dropped back on the pillow and the expression of pure bliss on his face. We’re both still in our shirts and ties but naked from the waist down. It looks good on him. Really good.

“Alright?” I ask when he says nothing.

“It’s so alright,” he replies. “It’s the most right it’s ever been in my life.”

I snort out a laugh as I slip my hand onto his stomach, secretly pleased by his words. We haven’t talked a whole lot about this aside from the occasional check in and I feel a massive sense of relief filter through me.

“That’s how I feel too,” I assure him. I hear his head shift on the pillow and assume he’s looking at me. I don’t look back because I can’t conceal how I am feeling about him right now and I don’t think he’s ready for that.

“When did you know you were gay?” he asks softly.

“Ah. You want to have that conversation,” I ask, leaning up on my elbow. I’m distracted by the fact he’s naked from the waist down but I do my best to ignore it because I know this is an important conversation for him. One I doubt he’s ever had before.

“Yeah. I want to know.”

“Well, I guess for me it wasn’t some dramatic realisation as such. More a naming of feelings I already knew I had,” I tell him, sliding my fingers between his abs. “It was maybe when I was twelve or thirteen I realised what it meant. That and the fact my friends were starting to look at girls and I only saw guys.”

“Yeah. That sounds right,” he agrees quietly.

“What about you, JT?” I hedge, stroking the hard edges of his stomach. “How do you think you identify?”

“I don’t really know, Quinn. I just know I look at you and I’m so attracted to you. I want you in ways I’ve never wanted anyone else. I guess I’ve noticed guys in the past too and I guess that makes me gay. It’s just harder for me because of the way I’ve been taught to think. I know those feelings have always been there but I’ve tried really hard to block them out. I didn’t really have any problems doing that either. Until I saw you.”

“Really?” I ask, biting down on my escaping smile.

“I used to sit in science class and just stare at you and wish you would turn around and notice me.”

“Oh, I noticed you, JT,” I assure him with a grin.

“Really? You literally never looked.”

“I assure you I was looking. I’ve just made it a habit not to be obvious about it especially as I thought you were as straight as your womanising cousin.”

“Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide. “I probably would have tried talking to you if I’d known I had even the slightest chance.”

“And why would you think you didn’t have a chance? You’re fucking hot, JT. Anyone would want you.” His cheeks flush again as he dips his head, eyes avoiding mine.

“I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen,” he admits in a quiet voice. My heart starts pounding in my chest, his words threading their way through me as all those feelings start to rush to the surface, wanting to make themselves known.

“Ditto, JT,” I tell him, pulling his body closer until he’s flush against me. “The first time I saw you walking by in the schoolyard I remember thinking who the fuck is he ? Believe me, you are very, very much up my alley, Jethro Thomas Sterling.”

He smiles at me then, his eyes lighting up in that beautiful face. I have plenty more words for him but I don’t want to say them. I lean forward and press a kiss to his mouth instead. And then we are kissing, his tongue spearing my mouth and me invading his space as things take off between us again.

We end up in the shower because there’s no disguising what we’ve been up to, and I know I have to take him home soon. He smells like sex. I can’t deny how much I love the feel of his wet body against mine as I scrub him clean.

JT dresses back in his school uniform while I pull on a pair of sweats and a black top. We’ve used up most of our study time for sex but I don’t want him to go just yet as we stand facing each other, him with his tie wrapped loose around his wrist.

“You ready for that maths test tomorrow?” I ask, seeing if I can delay him a little.

He sighs. “I’m really not. I’m struggling with the material. It’s way harder at Evergreen than my last school.”

“Really?” I ask, tilting my head. He’s never mentioned it before other than in general terms. “Want to show me what you’re working on? I’m doing Specialist Maths so I’m sure I can work it out.”

“Would you really do that for me?” he asks in a way that has me stalling.

“Of course I would, JT. Why do you think you need to ask.”

“I don’t know. I just feel like you do enough for me already,” he admits.

“Get your maths books out, JT,” I say, striding over to my desk and sitting down.

“I like it when you’re bossy,” he grins, biting on his lip.

“Noted.” I valiantly ignore that delightful little morsel as I force my errant thoughts aside and wait for JT to take the seat beside me.

We spend an hour going through his maths homework and he is looking far brighter by the time I drop him home later that night, smelling like my citrus shower gel. I even let him drive all the way to his house which I know is illegal. But I’ve never been pulled over and don’t see why we will on this short drive between our houses. Besides, it’s worth it to see the way JT smiles at me as we pull up around the corner from his house. And it’s definitely worth it when he hauls me closer and shoves his tongue down my throat. I could sure get used to this type of gratitude.

“Thank you,” he says as he pulls away from me.

“No, JT. Thank you ,” I reply, clearing my throat as I shift in the passenger seat. He presses his forehead against mine, breathing in deeply.

“I hate walking away from you.” His voice is a whisper, dipped low. My heart gives a resounding thud, his words recognising themselves in me.

“Me too,” I tell him.

I slide a hand behind his neck and pull him across for one last kiss before the inevitable happens and he walks away from me. I hate that I have to sit here and not even make sure he gets into his house okay, knowing he can’t risk being seen with me.

Anyway, those are thoughts for another day as I climb across the console to the driver’s seat and head back towards home, quiet with my own thoughts.

***

I pull up into the school parking lot on Friday morning, surprised to find Jace standing there waiting for me, two takeaway coffee cups in hand. He hasn’t been here all week, not since our falling out last Friday night when he tricked me into a date.

I’m feeling a lot more forgiving towards him now, especially after everything that happened with JT since then which all really took off after I showed up at his game.

Jace has been moody ever since and has gone out of his way to avoid me. Even Benson started asking what was going on with us. Benson’s always been super protective of Jace and I don’t think he was pleased about me potentially breaking his heart. Not that I think that’s what happened between me and Jace. He just wanted to hookup, and he’s not used to hearing the word no. Nobody’s heart was broken on Friday night at Mare Bello’s.

Still, Jace looks contrite when I stride towards him, his hair braided into an intricate half ponytail today.

“Hi,” he says when I arrive at his side.

“Hello,” I reply. He shoves the coffee towards me, and I hesitate before taking it from him. I don’t want to give him the wrong impression which I think I might have been inadvertently contributing to before.

“Peace offering?” Jace says.

“Yeah?” I ask, taking a sip as I watch my friend.

“I’m sorry about Friday night,” he says. “I shouldn’t have tricked you into going on a date like that. I just want things to go back to normal.”

“Yeah, me too,” I admit. It has been tense as hell this week even though I’ve managed to avoid a few lunchtimes with my friends. That science project really has come in handy.

“Can we just forget it happened?” Jace asks, looking up at me from under his eyelashes.

“It’s already forgotten.”

“Good,” he says, falling into step beside me as we head towards English class. “And I’m sorry about what I said about JT too. I didn’t mean any of that. I guess I was just lashing out.”

I’m quiet for a moment, processing Jace’s words and wondering what to say. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

“Good. Thank you for being understanding. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Me either, Jace.” We smile at each other and I’m pleased to see that he really seems to mean it. We’ve been friends with each other so long I really hate for us to be at odds like this.

“Now that’s all over do you want to hang out tonight? I promise Benson and Eddie are coming too,” Jace says, a hint of guilt on his face. “Eddie might even be bringing Matilda.”

“Um,” I hesitate.

“Are you busy?” Jace asks, guessing the reason for my hesitation.

“Well, um, I was already planning on going to watch the basketball tonight,” I admit, knowing I have basically just detonated a truth grenade between us. Jace doesn’t hide his shock as the truth I am not saying becomes evident.

“You? Quinn Dayton? Are voluntarily going to watch a game of sports?” he asks doubtfully. I just shrug and Jace snorts out a laugh. “Man, you must really like him.”

I neither confirm nor deny his statement but I know my actions are confirmation enough. I’m also aware of the awkwardness in this space between us still and we walk the rest of the way to class in silence, both of us stewing on our own thoughts while sipping the peace coffee. I have zero doubt my attendance at the basketball will be a topic of much conversation between my friends tonight, but I know I have to be okay with that.

I just really hope JT doesn’t mind. Because even though me going to watch his basketball game doesn’t confirm his feelings towards me, it’s certainly confirmed mine for him.