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quinn

C learly, I had made a big miscalculation. Asking JT to stay the night had been a spur of the moment decision, driven by a certain body part that can still feel the phantom touches of where his head had rested in my lap during last night’s movie.

But that was before he kissed me.

And it was certainly before I had pressed him down onto the sofa and gone out of my head with want. Because let me just say that I have never wanted anyone the way I wanted JT last night. Feeling him beneath me on the sofa. Letting my hands finally touch that incredible body I have long been dreaming of. Getting to kiss him, stroke his tongue. Wondering if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life in stopping things last night.

I was a fraction of a second away from losing all control. I had never wanted so much as I had wanted last night. And JT, well, he had certainly taken me by surprise, but he was clearly as into it as I had been. His body had responded to me in the best way possible and now, well, now I am certainly paying the consequences.

Because then, after that most mind-blowing kiss of my entire damn existence, I’d had to walk upstairs with endorphins still raging in my system and climb into bed beside the hottest, sweetest guy I’d ever been with. And lay there beside him, not touching, not kissing, not giving in to my deepest desires and needs.

It was the challenge of a lifetime to keep things under control when I had long since lost any claim to it.

The sun has just started lighting up the sky and I am still up inside my head. I’m antsy and achy, have been since JT fell asleep on the sofa last night and ended up with his head in my lap. He was all I could think about, the movie just white noise as my hands threaded his soft locks and he breathed gently in my lap.

Maybe I should have just taken him home last night because as much as I loved kissing him, it has been absolute torture lying here next to him all night.

He shifts in his sleep and my eyes drop to him, lying peacefully beside me. He sleeps on his stomach and my eyes drift to his back, his broad shoulders and cut of his muscles obvious even under his t-shirt.

His body is spectacular. I know he’s fit and I know he works out a lot but damn, my boy is something to behold. Everything about him is just so fine—including the parts I have yet to see. But I felt him last night, while we kissed, how much I turned him on. That memory is going to live rent free in my head for a long time to come.

I sigh and close my eyes and somehow manage to drift off. When I wake again, the time is past nine o’clock. I stifle a groan, eyes tracking to JT who is still sleeping peacefully. I watch him for a few moments but I don’t trust myself, so I slip out of bed and beeline for the ensuite.

I need a shower. I need to cool myself down and I need a break from sleeping beside JT. I stay under the water for longer than normal, setting the temperature to run a little cooler as I wrap my hand around myself and try to take the edge off.

The relief is immeasurable, and I think it finally does the trick. That is until I open the door to my bedroom and find JT’s green eyes on me.

My towel is wrapped around my waist but JT doesn’t hide the way his eyes dip down my chest. I suppose we’ve both been pretending for a while and there doesn’t seem much point in hiding anymore. Not after last night. It seems as though JT has finally given himself permission to look back as his gaze drops lower still.

I open my mouth to tease him but close it instead. I don’t think we’re quite there yet so I silently step towards my robe. I pull on my boxers before dropping the towel. Then I dress in jeans and a t-shirt before I turn to face the boy and his big green eyes. Sure enough, he’s watching me, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and I curse under my breath. He is going to kill me.

And there goes my extra time in the shower.

“Morning,” I say.

“Morning,” he replies, voice still raspy from sleep. I step towards him, overly conscious of the way he’s looking at me, and perch on the edge of the bed. Just like last week.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Um, yes?”

I can’t help but smirk at his answer as he just watches me back. “Do you want a shower? I left a towel out for you in the ensuite.”

“Thanks. That would be great,” he replies. I don’t move and he watches me for a few weighty moments. He clears his throat. “Do you think I can meet you downstairs?”

I realise he’s gripping onto the covers, and my eyes involuntarily dip down his concealed body. If he woke up anything like me, I can appreciate his need for privacy. So I nod and then leave him be, closing the door behind me.

I make my way downstairs where I find Mum leaning back against the kitchen cabinet, a cup of tea in hand.

“Morning, Mum,” I greet her, pecking a kiss to the top of her hair. “Did you just get home?”

“Yep,” she smiles back at me, exhaustion on her face. I always tell her she doesn’t need to take these late shifts but she really wants to fund my way through university so she never listens to my protests. “I thought I’d have a cup of tea but I think I just need to go to bed.”

“Good idea,” I tell her. I hear the pop and hiss of the hot water system as it kicks in for the shower upstairs and Mum cocks her head to the side.

“Did you have a friend stay over?”

“Ah, yeah. JT stayed the night,” I admit, turning my back on her as I rifle through the pantry.

“Did he?” she says, her tone amused and pointed. “That’s two weeks in a row.” I just hum in reply, avoiding her eyes.

“We’re just friends,” I lie, pretending to rifle through the jars and condiments. Actually, that’s not entirely a lie. I don’t know what JT and I are to each other right now. Friends who kiss? Friends who kiss and happen to want to get on their knees for each other?

“Hmm, okay,” she returns. I make the mistake of looking back at her and her face is so smug I can’t help rolling my eyes.

“Goodnight, Mum,” I say pointedly.

“Night, darling,” she singsongs as she turns and heads for the stairs. I can tell how much she loves being right about this.

I find one of those pancake shaker mixes at the back of the pantry and decide to make JT breakfast. I mix it all together and then start frying the pancakes while I cut up some berries and bananas.

I have a small, neat stack of pancakes ready to go when I hear footsteps on the staircase and JT steps into the kitchen. His shyness has returned in full force, but I don’t mind that one bit. It’s actually kind of endearing now that I know I’m the reason for it.

“Hi,” he says as he leans up against the island. His cheeks are flushed and he looks so cute I nearly melt into a puddle.

“Hi,” I return.

“So, it’s tomorrow.”

“So it is,” I reply, taking an overly obvious eyeful down his frame as I try not to smile.

“I believe you made a promise to me last night,” he lays out. I can’t stop myself from smiling. He lasted bare seconds before bringing up the kiss and I do a little happy dance on the inside.

“I did but first I want you to eat the breakfast I made you,” I say, gesturing to the stack of pancakes which I don’t think JT has noticed yet. “And I want to talk.”

“Talk?” he repeats, mouth tugged down in a pout.

“Yes, talk,” I affirm. I pick up the plate of pancakes and then motion for JT to follow me to the dining table where I’ve set out the fruit and maple syrup. He grabs a pancake and layers it in fruit and syrup before taking a bite.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” he asks tentatively.

“Later. Eat first,” I grin, taking a bite of my own pancake. We make our way through the entire stack and then JT follows me to the kitchen where we load the plates in the dishwasher. When I stand up he is looking at me, a hesitant expression on his face that I want to wipe off. I take a step towards him, closing the gap between us.

“So, want to talk about that promise I made last night?” I suggest.

“I’d rather cash it in than talk about it,” he returns. Well, well, well. Seems like my shy boy has disappeared on me.

“Yeah? You want me to kiss you again, JT?” I tease a little, caging him in against the island.

“Yes.” His reply is instant. I try not to gloat.

“Okay. You want to talk about that first though?” I prompt. “About the kiss?” He narrows his eyes at me and I nearly get sidetracked but I really want to clear this out.

He lets out a puff of air. “Not really,” he admits. “I’d rather just kiss you again.”

“Okay … but is this just, like, a one-time thing?” I ask. “I just kind of need to know the lay of the land here.”

JT smiles and it’s the shy smile I think I’m obsessed with. “I really hope it’s not just a one-time thing.”

I didn’t realise how fast my heart was beating until I hear those words. I try not to let my delight show too much as I quirk a smile at him. “Good. Cos I gotta admit I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while.”

“So why didn’t you?”

It’s my turn to chuff a laugh. “It’s not that simple from this side of things, JT. I picked up a few hints from you but not enough for me to go charging in and accidentally making a move on a guy who might be straight.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s fair enough,” he agrees, dropping his eyes. “I guess I don’t really know much about this kind of stuff. I’m not very good at this.”

“Oh, I disagree with that, JT.”

He smiles again, pink staining those pretty cheeks. “Does it bother you that I don’t have any experience?”

“Not one bit,” I assure him, reaching out and taking his hand in mine. “It doesn’t change the fact I still want to kiss you. But it does change the pace we go at.”

“What if I don’t want slow?” he says, chin jutted out in a challenge.

“Well maybe I need slow. I don’t want to just dive in with you like I’ve done in the past. That hasn’t always worked out well for me. And you’re kind of … sweet and special.”

“Oh.” That shy smile is back, the one that has a high probability of killing me.

“But on the other foot, does it bother you that I’ve been with … a few guys?” Well, more than a few. He doesn’t need to know that though.

JT bites onto his bottom lip, somewhere I want to be biting soon before he shakes his head. “No, Quinn. That doesn’t bother me. It’s probably good that one of us knows what they’re doing.”

I can only smile back at him, relief coursing through me. Not that either of us can change our past. And it’s not as though I am ashamed of mine. It’s just different from his and I want to make sure he’s okay with that. But I also can’t help hoping he never wants the numbers conversation.

“Do you have basketball training this morning?” I ask, letting my gaze drift down to his lips.

“Yeah. And I have to go home first to change so I don’t have much time.”

“What if I lend you some clothes. How much time do we have then?”

A slow grin crosses JT’s face as he glances up at the clock on the wall. “I’ve got about forty-five minutes.”

“Well then,” I say, letting my pointer finger trail down his neck to rest on his bouncing pulse. “What do you want to do in the meantime?” JT’s smirk tells me everything I need to know. I don’t hesitate to drop my hand into his, threading our fingers together.

“Want to come back upstairs with me, JT?”

***

JT and I make excellent use of those precious minutes as I soon have him laid out on my bed, my hand tracing the muscles on his stomach and my tongue down his throat. He tastes amazing, like blueberries and maple syrup and I know I’m never going to have enough of this, of him.

It’s probably fortunate my mum is sleeping at the end of the hallway because that forces me to be more responsible than I want to be. It also helps, albeit only slightly, that he is dressed in more than just a pair of flimsy boxers that did nothing to hide the outline of him as he slept beside me last night.

He also seems happy to just make out with me now that I’ve set the ground rules and he knows I’ll be taking things slow with him. Well, as slow as I can as he whimpers underneath me and I nearly lose my head again.

I pull back slightly to check the time and curse when I realise it’s already time to go.

“Dammit,” JT sighs, head hitting the pillow. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to miss a training more in my life.”

I smirk at that as I very reluctantly pull myself away from him. I rifle through my cupboard for a pair of black athletic shorts I think I’ve worn maybe once and hold them up to JT.

“Will these do?”

“Perfect,” he says, climbing off my bed and grabbing them from my hands. I know I should give him privacy to change but it’s not like he hides himself away as he drops his jeans to the floor and steps into the shorts, the loose material not doing a great job of concealing him.

“Well,” I can’t help but comment as my eyes drag down his body. “At least we know your issues with Chanel have been fixed.”

He huffs out a laugh. “You like that, don’t you?”

“Oh JT, you have no idea,” I say, reaching around to pull him taut against me.

“I think I just quit basketball,” JT murmurs, dropping his head back.

“No you don’t,” I say quietly. “I like my men hot and sweaty. Didn’t you hear?”

“I heard loud and clear, don’t you worry about that,” he grins. I kiss him again, hands sliding to his hips and pulling him taut. I want to grind on him but I refrain myself, knowing I need to be the one to set the pace between us. I don’t want him to look back on this weekend with even an ounce of regret and that means we need to slow this down.

“We better go. You’re going to be late,” I say as I pull back from him. He chases my mouth, and I grin to myself as he looks up at me, lips pink and puffy and eyes slightly dazed. I’m in no better state.

“Yeah, okay,” he eventually agrees. He pulls his sneakers on while I grab my keys and phone, and we head for the door.