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jt

I ’m nervous as Quinn drives us home. I know why but I’m not dwelling on the reasons right now. I’m just so excited that Quinn showed up for one of my games that I hardly know what to do with myself.

No one shows up for me. Well, that’s not entirely true. Trey’s family are at nearly every game—my uncle, aunt and two younger cousins, Bethany and Archie. Our grandparents make most of our home games too, but they are not there for me alone as they’ve been coming out to watch Trey for years. Quinn feels like my own special person and I am almost giddy with happiness.

He looks way too classy for our school basketball match in that sexy woollen coat and dark pants, but I am here for it. I love the way he dresses.

The last few weeks have been such a whirlwind — hiding my feelings from everyone but Quinn. Hiding away from my parents. Stealing every possible moment I can get with Quinn. Even though that means I still have to complete my punishment for missing dinner last night. I knew I was going to be in trouble for that but there was no way I was missing out on staying for dinner with Quinn and his mum. It was worth it.

Quinn’s house is dark as he pulls up into the driveway and I wait as he opens the front door for us. He switches on the hallway light and waits for me to step inside.

“Is it just us?” I ask. Butterflies flock to my stomach.

“Just us,” Quinn affirms, shooting that gaze my way. The one that makes me want to melt into lava. “Want to come upstairs with me?”

“So much yes,” I all but whimper. He smiles as he reaches down and takes my hand, pulling me up the stairs behind him. We’re already kissing by the time he closes his bedroom door behind us, and I know that tonight is going to be different. I have never felt so much need for another person before, so much want, so much everything. Quinn makes me feel things I have never felt before.

We kick off our shoes and Quinn backs me onto the bed. I go willingly, yielding control to him. I can’t get enough of him, of his kisses or his touches. I love the feel of his tongue in my mouth, I love the way he takes control of me, the way he presses his body on top of mine as we kiss, and he sends me wild.

I can feel the hard outline of him pressed against me and I hope so much that nothing derails us from going further tonight. I haven’t been able to sleep thinking about this, thinking about taking things further. I know Quinn has been all aboard the slow down train, but I am so done with that business.

I’m just about to start begging when Quinn suddenly reaches between us for the hem of my shirt and lifts it up over my head. Yes! This is more like it, actual action, actual skin on skin contact. I reach for his shirt and we both haul it off together. His chest feels incredible against mine — smooth and warm and firm.

“This is a very nice body, JT,” Quinn murmurs, sliding his hands down my chest.

Quinn’s touches drive me crazy, the way he plays with my nipples, the way he makes me tremble. He is a lot less controlled tonight as his mouth joins his hand, kissing down my collarbone until he’s swallowing a nipple. I would be embarrassed by the sounds I am making but not with Quinn, not with the way he makes me feel.

His heated kisses are everywhere, licking my pecs, dipping into my abs, his touch like flames to my soul.

“Do you want me to slow down?” Quinn asks, voice dipped low just as his mouth reaches my belly button.

I shake my head as he licks me there and I nearly die on the spot. “Don’t stop.”

He must agree because his next words are everything I am hoping to hear.

“I’m going to take your clothes off, JT,” he says.

My heart thrums wildly in my chest as he slides down my legs, reaching for the waistband of my shorts. He pulls them slowly down my legs, my boxers going with them. I’ve never felt so exposed in my life, never been so naked with another person but I don’t feel embarrassed. Not with Quinn. I want this with him so very much.

“I knew you’d have a pretty cock,” he says, gaze right there as a laugh bursts out of me.

“Yeah?” I ask, propping myself up on my elbows to watch as he traces a solitary finger up my length. It feels glorious, absolutely glorious. “I want to see you too,” I tell him. I’m unexpectedly bold with my demands tonight but I’ve been burning with desire for the past few weeks. I dream about Quinn. I want to see him so bad I can hardly breathe.

“Yeah?” Quinn asks, that gorgeous half smile on his face. “You want to see me naked, JT?” He’s teasing me, his hands on the buttons of his dark jeans and I can only watch as he pops the button and pulls the zipper down, slow and taunting.

“Just take them off,” I huff, watching his face light up in delight. But he does as I ask, kicking out of his jeans and boxers until he is as naked as me. His dick is right there, hard and ripe for the taking and oh-so breathtakingly gorgeous. I don’t even hesitate as I reach out and grasp it.

Quinn lets out a low rumble as I let my hand get a feel for him, searching out all the dips and grooves. I’ve never touched another guy before and I can’t get over how nice it feels, all warm and velvety. There’s no denying how purely male Quinn is. How masculine his body is and the deep, low sounds he makes.

I know my face is probably lit up like the dawn sun but I can’t get enough of this as I concentrate on what I’m doing, everywhere I am touching him. I want to map out every single inch of him, find every spot that draws out those sounds from him.

“Are you trying to kill me, JT?” Quinn finally rasps.

“Sorry. You just feel so nice.”

“You don’t ever need to apologise for touching me,” he replies as he settles alongside me.

Something shifts between us then as he looks across at me. His eyes are so full that it makes my heart skip a beat. I feel the same, so many emotions pouring out of me right now I don’t know what to do with them.

“JT,” Quinn murmurs, cupping my cheek with his warm hand. He brings our mouths back together and he kisses me again, soft and slow and sensual. I shift onto my side which only brings everything into contact between us as he rubs against me. A shiver slides down my spine. Never in a million years would I have guessed how good this would feel.

Quinn breaks the kiss and starts grazing his mouth down my body again. I shift onto my back. I want him to take control of this. I need him to take control. He knows what he’s doing. Unlike me. I’m just working off pure instinct and the deep desire burning inside me right now.

But I love everything he’s doing to me as he kisses his way down my body. I know exactly where he’s heading, and I am both full of nerves and slightly desperate anticipation as he makes his way down.

“I’m going to suck your dick, okay?” he says, eyes on mine. I swallow and nod, not trusting myself to speak. He gives me enough time to say no but I swear that will not be happening in a million years.

Quinn drops his hold on my eyes and continues kissing his way down. I am a wreck by the time he finally makes it to where I want him most and those soft kisses trail down my cock.

And that’s when I lose control. I am officially in heaven. I have never felt anything better in my whole entire life than what Quinn is doing to me with his mouth. Every single nerve ending lights up for him, every part of me on fire.

Quinn is so good at this but he’s also careful with me and I appreciate him so much more in this moment than I ever have before. I know I can trust him and feel safe with him as he makes me feel better than I have ever felt in my life. I never want this moment to end.

That thought is premature though when Quinn plants those blue eyes on me and my spine immediately starts to tingle. I lose that final control but he’s there with me the whole time, letting me feel every last second of bliss to the end.

He kisses me afterwards and I lose myself in him. How he can be everything while I am nothing all at once is a mystery I want to solve. What is he doing to me? I don’t have any answers for that, only that I would face a hundred punishments from my parents for just a minute more like this with him.

I don’t know much about what I’m doing but I know I want to reciprocate that feeling he just gave me, so I push him onto his back and climb onto his thighs.

“Hello there,” he grins back up at me, propping an arm under his head. My mind goes right ahead and explodes at the sight of him like that—so sure and confident in his body, and with good reason too. He’s absolute perfection as he lies there underneath me, skin flushed, body flawless.

Just looking at him like that answers every question I ever had about myself.

I want to touch him and that’s what I do. I think I want to suck him too but I give myself a reprieve when I see how much I make him moan with just the touch of my hand. Maybe that’s enough for now as I increase my grip and touch him harder. Maybe I should let myself work up to the sucking.

This is so much better with another person, and I am so proud when I finally trip Quinn over the edge. It is the sexiest damn thing I have ever seen, watching him lose it like that. We collapse together afterwards, just a tangle of limbs and warm feelings and lots more kisses.

I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for a night like this with a guy like Quinn. I might not have known that’s what I was waiting for but he’s here now and nothing is going to stop me from diving in with both feet.

***

It’s warm and cosy when I finally wake the next morning. I’ve been here in Quinn’s bed enough times now to know where I am, how the soft morning light streams in through his upstairs window, how the magpies and kookaburras sing in the forest behind us, how his pillow is so soft and cosy. That, plus the incredible feel of his arm around my stomach as he spoons me from behind.

I can’t believe I am actually waking up naked with another guy. But I am and he feels amazing.

Last night was pretty much the best night of my entire life. Quinn unlocks so many emotions and feelings in me, feelings that I am now starting to realise I have spent a lot of years suppressing. I think he might have also awakened a bit of a monster because I want a repeat of last night already even though I’m still admittedly exhausted. We spent a lot of time last night getting to know each other’s bodies.

I feel his arm tighten around me as he takes a deep breath, slowly waking. I twist so that I am facing him, pressing up against him in the best way. He is so damn pretty, my Quinn, as he lays there on his pillow, dark hair mussed both from sleep and the work of my hands, those sparkling blue eyes on me. I want to kiss him. I want to drown in him and never come back up for air.

I lean across and place a soft kiss on his lips. I want to deepen it but he pushes gently on my chest and I pout.

“My mum is downstairs.”

“Oh shit. Sorry,” I say, instantly scooting away from him.

“It’s okay,” he grins, reaching for me and pulling me back. “You’re allowed to be here but maybe leave off the kissing until later, yeah?”

“Okay,” I agree. I look at him for a few moments, constantly amazed that someone like him would want to be with someone like me. “Do you mind if I have a shower?” I ask. I’m feeling a little sticky and gross.

“Course,” he says, that crooked smile on his face. “There should be a spare towel in the cupboard.”

“I know where it is,” I grin, climbing over him.

I leave the bathroom door open behind me, last night making me braver. I feel a mix of emotions as I wash off the evidence of last night. Weird I know but I kind of don’t want to forget even a second of it, starting with how amazing I felt when Quinn unexpectedly showed up at my game. Little did I know, that was not even close to what would be the best feelings of the night.

I’m about to shut the water off when Quinn steps into the ensuite. He’s still completely naked and my eyes reliably get sidetracked while he acts like it’s just another normal day. Not for me though. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact I’m allowed to look at him naked. Which I do right now. Freely.

He holds my towel out for me and I step into it, leaving the water running so he can duck in behind me. One day I hope I’ll be able to have a shower with him. For now, I wrap the towel around my waist and then take my time brushing my teeth, one eye on Quinn in the mirror the whole time. I leave my toothbrush in the cup beside Quinn’s, right where it belongs.

I leave him be and step back into his bedroom. I find the jeans I left here the other night, folded on top of Quinn’s wardrobe, and a clean pair of boxers in my sports bag. I wait for Quinn to finish his shower and then ogle him when he drops his towel to pull on his clothes. He turns to face me when he’s done.

“Breakfast?” he asks, eyebrow peaked.

“Yes. I’m starving,” I agree.

“I bet you are,” he grins.

Amy is downstairs in the kitchen when we arrive, and she gives me her usual warm welcome. “I’ve made a hot breakfast for us,” she says as my stomach rumbles. It smells amazing in here.

“Thanks, Mum,” Quinn replies. He kisses her on the top of her head and she pats his cheek. That little pang of jealousy tightens my stomach again before I shove it aside.

“Orange juice?” Quinn asks as he rifles through the fridge.

Amy sets out the three plates on the dining table and I sit on the chair beside Quinn, Amy opposite us. I have just taken a bite of bacon when Amy clears her throat.

“So, are we still pretending this is not a sexual relationship?” she asks, eyes on Quinn and me. I feel a choke start to wedge in my throat, panic rising that we have been caught when Quinn just huffs out a laugh.

“Just say what you want to say, Mum,” he returns easily. My heart is still spinning towards panic stations but the calm way Quinn responds has it settling a little.

“Well, if JT is going to be staying overnight here, I think we need to set some rules,” Amy continues. I definitely choke then. This is so not how I expected this conversation to go. It almost sounds like she’s okay with it.

“Mum, we’re eighteen years old. I shouldn’t have to keep the door open when JT comes over,” Quinn replies with an eyeroll.

“I appreciate that, Quinn,” Amy concedes. I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. These two actually talk to each other like they are equals and I am lost. “ I was not going to make that one of the rules. I also know better than to ban JT staying outright because I know it won’t stop anything, just move it somewhere riskier. So, these are my rules. You can stay here with the door closed, no questions asked. But sleepovers are limited to weekends only provided schoolwork is done first and provided you’re safe.”

“Safe?” I hear myself repeating, not quite understanding what she means by that.

“She means we use condoms,” Quinn adds with a little wink.

“What? Oooh,” I say, understanding dawning as my face lights up like a beacon. I cannot believe we are having this conversation with Quinn’s mum . But Quinn just grins at me, hand sliding onto my thigh under the table like he knows I’m about to have a panic attack. This is why sex ed is important. I wasn’t allowed to sit in on those classes at school and now my ignorance is on full display. Although come to think of it, it’s highly doubtful they covered this kind of sex in sex education.

“Are we in agreement then?” Amy continues on, as though we haven’t just been discussing the terms of me and her son having sex. Breathe, JT .

“The terms are fair,” Quinn nods.

“JT?” Amy adds, turning her attention on me.

“Fair,” I choke out while Quinn chuckles and squeezes my thigh.

“Good. Glad that’s settled then,” Amy says, picking up her knife and fork like we’ve just been discussing the weather.

I’m chewing on my food but it tastes like cardboard. My mind is spinning and I can’t catch up. Have I just witnessed how a normal family conversation goes?

“How do your parents feel about everything, JT?” Amy asks conversationally, eyes on me again.

“Oh, you mean about me being with Quinn?” I ask. “Let’s just say that my parents view holding hands as pre-marital fornication. Kissing is an absolute no-go and anything beyond that is completely unmentionable. Throw in the fact that Quinn is a guy and well, I might as well go pack my bags right now.”

Amy says nothing for a moment but her brow creases as she studies me. Quinn is silent at my side. He knows some of this but not everything and certainly not the extent of it.

“JT’s dad is a pastor,” Quinn adds.

“Ah, I see,” Amy replies thoughtfully. “Well, JT, it goes against my usual better judgement but in a situation like this, I’m happy for you both to use our house as your base. I’ve always tried my hardest to make this a safe space for Quinn and that applies to you too.”

I feel tears prick the backs of my eyes at her words and I hurriedly blink them away. I don’t want to cry, not now when her words are so kind and uplifting and everything I am not used to hearing at home.

“Thank you,” I choke out. It’s all I can say really because nobody has ever offered me a safe space before. No one except Quinn and now his mother.

Amy finishes her breakfast and then rises to her feet. “Can I leave the pack up to you boys?” she asks.

“Of course,” Quinn replies as she leaves for the stairs. I hear her bedroom door close before I look back at Quinn, noting the way he is studying me.

“I cannot believe how cool your mum is.”

“Yeah, she really is,” he agrees.

“This conversation would never have happened in my house,” I add. “I think they’d rather I live on the streets than have to deal with something so unmentionable.”

“Do you really think they would react so badly?” Quinn asks softly.

“I really do,” I sigh.

“Well, we’ll just have to limit our sleepovers to here,” he replies, picking up my hand and kissing my knuckles.

“And the janitor’s closet at school,” I add. Quinn laughs, the sound moving over my skin.

He’s quiet for a moment before his face turns serious. “Are you okay about everything? Last night? Us?”

“I’m very, very okay,” I assure him, taking his free hand in mine.

“Good,” he smiles. “Last night was pretty amazing.”

“For me too. In case you couldn’t tell.”

We smile at each other before he drops his gaze. “I need to tell you something though. You know how I said I was meeting up with the boys for dinner last night?” I nod and he continues. “Well, turns out it was just Jace and me.”

“What?” I ask, something ugly twisting in my gut.

“I didn’t know,” he assures me. “Jace organised it. I wouldn’t have gone if I’d realised.”

“Was it … was it meant to be a date?”

“Yeah. I think Jace could tell that my attention has been a little waylaid of late. By you. And he wanted to set his cards on the table I guess.”

“Oh.”

“Get that look off your face,” Quinn smirks at me. “I told him I only saw him as a friend. And then I left him at the restaurant and beelined across town to go sit in a musty gymnasium to watch sport . For you, JT. I did that for you.”

“Yeah, you did,” I concede, feeling my lips tug up. “And I’m so glad you came last night. You have no idea how glad. But just so we’re clear, I’m pretty pissed at your bestie.”

Quinn chuckles. “Yeah, me too. I was pretty angry about being tricked into a date. I told him so too. But at least now that whole thing has been cleared up. It’s just you for me, JT. Surely you know that by now.”

“It’s you for me too,” I tell him softly.

“Good because the way Jace was talking about you and Chanel last night had me ready to throw a punch,” Quinn huffs.

“Really?” I can’t say I mind that look of jealousy crossing his face.

“Really.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to my mouth and I return it. We keep it tame even though I’m pretty sure both of us are wanting more but we break apart and move to the kitchen to pack away the dishes.

Just me, washing dishes on a cool Saturday morning beside the boy of my dreams.