Page 5

jt

I t’s Friday night and the Dukes are celebrating another big win over our cross-town rivals. It’s a home game for us so the stadium is full of navy and silver and a whole lot of happy faces. My grandparents, aunt and uncle and my younger cousins are in the stands, just as they are most weeks, but I am aware of the empty spaces beside them where my parents sit on the odd occasion they’ve bothered to show for my games.

Chanel is in the front row with her large group of friends wearing a tiny white halter top and a little black skirt. I feel her gaze on me as we huddle around Coach for our post-game wrap. I’m exhausted but feeling happy with my top score of twenty-two points for the game. Trey put up his own twenty points and I kind of love how the crowd have started calling us the Sterling Double Trouble.

I know it was stupid but I’d scanned the crowd earlier as the game started, just in case Quinn had somehow decided to come out to watch. Like he’d done a couple of times at lunchbreak on the outside courts this week.

But no, there is no sign of Quinn anywhere and I can only assume he is out with that far too pretty friend of his. I can’t stop thinking about Quinn and Jace, about whether they’re together like that. I mean, they certainly look like they’re together given how Jace is constantly all over Quinn, right up in his space. Sharing food and drinks with him. Always touching.

But that doesn’t explain why Quinn watches me when I play streetball with the boys at lunch. It doesn’t explain why he suddenly started sitting by the courts instead of where he and his friends usually sit by the lake.

I really like it even if it means I have to watch Jace play all cutesy with him all lunchtime.

“Special shoutout to the Sterlings for another game of total chaos,” Coach Vizard is saying, and I pull my head back into the huddle as Vince tussles my hair and the guys cheer for us. I love playing on this team and this group of guys are the absolute best. “Now hit the showers and don’t do anything too stupid tonight.”

We all laugh at that, knowing those famous last words will fall on deaf ears. These boys can get up to some pretty crazy stuff. I know I’ve lived a very sheltered upbringing, but my mouth still drops at some of the things they do, Vince particularly. But we do as Coach says, hitting the showers and I feel good once the sweat of the game is washed away.

“You coming out tonight, JT?” Trey asks, pulling me into a headlock as I try to button my jeans.

“I’ll think about it if you let me finish getting dressed,” I huff, trying to push him away from me.

He loosens his grip as he leans in closer. “Did you see Chanel in the front row for you tonight? Looks like you might not need to worry about getting dressed.” Vince overhears and whoops loudly in my ear while Marco chuckles and Kye grins at me. All the while I feel my face paling under the attention. I shove Trey aside to finish buttoning my jeans, trying to ignore the boys as they continue to tease me about Chanel.

I have no idea what to expect tonight but it doesn’t stop the stirring of unease I feel in my gut. I am certain I have not given any mixed signals to Chanel but maybe that doesn’t actually matter. It’s almost like if the girl is willing then the guy’s opinion is irrelevant. At least, that’s the impression I’m getting as the boys continue to rib me.

I suddenly feel like heading home but, thanks to my parents, I have no way of doing that. I am at Trey’s mercy and there’s no way he’s letting me out of this. So I trudge out of the locker room after my cousin, spying the group of girls waiting outside for us. I busy myself with the zip on my sports bag as we all pair off in the carpark and I squeeze into Trey’s Silvia.

Trey is in a good mood as we hit the road to Marco’s house and I’m pretty sure that’s because Millie Bourke was at the game and will be at the afterparty too. Sometimes I love being in the high school jock crowd but sometimes, like tonight, I kind of wish I could crawl into obscurity and be quiet for a bit. At the same time, I don’t want to make my parents too proud of my teenage choices, so I buckle in and enjoy the drive.

There’s always a lot of alcohol at these events and I am a little surprised at how far advanced the party seems by the time Trey and I rock up. We stopped at a service station on the way for some drinks and snacks but there’s already empty beer bottles on the bench and the music is up loud.

I spot Chanel with her large group of friends, and it's impossible not to notice them all watching me and my cousin as we step into the room. I grab a beer from the stash Trey brought in, but I know I will stop at one. Maybe I was just born with a sensible head. Or maybe I have a loud conscience in my brain that sounds suspiciously like my dad’s voice. I shudder at the thought.

Chanel’s eyes are tracking me, and I feel a bolt of panic as Trey leaves me to go flirt with Millie. I suddenly don’t know what to do with myself. I spy Vince through the open door to Marco’s bedroom playing on the PlayStation and I quickly make my way there to see if I can join him.

Vince is all too pleased to set up a multiplayer game and I am soon engrossed in Grand Theft Auto and have forgotten all about my girl troubles.

Unfortunately, Vince must eventually get bored because suddenly I am alone in Marco’s bedroom and the door is being closed. I glance up to the doorway, throat squeezing shut when I see Chanel standing there, head cocked to the side as she takes me in. I’m sitting propped up against Marco’s headboard and I suddenly feel like a deer trapped in headlights.

“I wondered where you went,” Chanel says, taking an artful step towards me, blonde hair tossed to the side.

I clear my throat. “Ah, yeah, just playing PlayStation.”

“You played an awesome game tonight,” she continues. She’s right in front of me now, only stopping to place a knee on the bed beside me. Her skirt is very short. I know that if she lived in my house my mum would have never let her out like that, but I also know that it’s not my place to say. Weird where my thoughts end up sometimes.

“Thanks,” I gulp, throat dry. I am trying not to look down because I’m pretty sure I will see a whole lot of things I don’t think I want to see. But I’m also not sure whether I should point that out to Chanel or if it’s something she’s aware of. I am worried it’s the latter.

“I was hoping you’d be here tonight,” she adds, twirling a lock of blonde hair between her fingers.

“Were you?”

“Yeah. I was hoping I might get you alone like this too.” She’s smiling at me, and she really is so very pretty, and I so wish I could like her like that.

“Uh, why?”

“Well,” she continues, a shy smile crossing her face as she places a second knee beside me. “I was kind of hoping for a kiss.”

“Oh,” I gulp. Chanel leans into me and I am unable to stop myself from backing away. Turns out there is only so far I can go but it doesn’t stop Chanel from following. Next minute her lips are on mine, and I think I may have frozen because this is always the part I don’t know what to do. I’ve been in this exact position a few times before but none of the other times have gone any better as I just kind of sit there while Chanel squeezes in closer.

I’m aware of her leg crossing over my body and next minute she is straddling my thighs, hands on my shoulders. Her lips are soft on mine but she moves closer, pressing her tongue into my mouth. It’s only then I realise I’m white knuckling Marco’s quilt cover, wishing time to speed up.

“You’re kind of shy,” Chanel quirks, moving away from me. I make some weird noise in the back of my throat, and she smiles in return. I don’t seem to have put her off at any rate because she squeezes down lower onto me, her skirt shimmying up her thighs way past the point of return. I can see everything, the scrap of lavender lace not doing a great job of covering her.

“I really like you, JT.”

“Oh, um,” I fumble, really not sure what to say now. I’m pretty certain I’ve exchanged barely a full sentence with Chanel in the few weeks I’ve known her, and I don’t think that’s enough for me to like someone. But it doesn’t deter her as she slides a hand behind her neck and tugs on something, I’m not sure what exactly. All I know is that it is responsible for holding up her top because the material suddenly bunches at her waist, and she is most definitely not wearing a bra.

A slightly unmanly squeak comes out of me and Chanel grins. I have never seen boobs in real life before. I can’t deny hers are quite nice and perky, but I am a lot less turned on than I thought I would be.

“You can touch me,” she says, but I am still clinging to the bedsheets like my life depends on it and I know they won’t be going anywhere else anytime soon. Chanel just smiles again before leaning back down for another kiss, squeezing her naked breasts up against my t-shirt.

I know I should do something but I’m actually kind of frozen in place. Of course, that’s when my mind decides to do its usual backflip and I am suddenly imagining Quinn in my place, Jace straddling his waist and their tongues tussling together. Unlike me, Quinn knows what to do, his hand on Jace’s hip, the other gripping the long strands of his hair while Jace grinds down on him. I am both turned on and repulsed by the images assaulting my head and I squirm underneath Chanel.

I manage to snap out of it when Chanel starts moving her hand down my chest. I know where she is heading, and I know I have to stop her. Because she is going to find a very disinterested appendage down there. I’m soft as a bag of feathers and I’m pretty sure my balls have retreated inside me and nothing is changing that status tonight. I panic as I grab her fingers just as she makes it to my waistband.

“Um, I don’t really think …” I choke out. “I mean, I don’t really want to go any further.”

“Are you sure?” Chanel asks, pouting down at me as her fingers flex against my abs. “I’m down for anything.”

“No. Not tonight,” I say, finally finding that voice I needed five minutes ago.

“Okay. That’s cool,” she agrees. She’s still completely topless and I kind of want to sink into the ground but Chanel must finally catch on that nothing is going to be happening between us tonight. She sighs as she re-ties the straps of her top and then climbs off my lap, smoothing down her tiny skirt as she goes.

“Let me know if you change your mind,” she says, not quite as deterred as I hoped she might be by this most awkward of encounters. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yep. See you round,” I reply. I wait until the door closes behind her before I let out a deep breath, head hitting the backboard.

And then I sit here, just me, wondering how I am meant to get out of this now.