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jt

I ’m beginning to forget what my life was like without Quinn. What it was like to wake up and not have him be my first thought of the day. What it was like to fall asleep without him as my last thought, my dreams full of him. The way I think about him constantly, the way I plan and plot my days around being with him every minute I can get.

I can’t believe it when he shows up at my game again on Friday night. I’m almost delirious with excitement when I glance up to see him squeezing into a seat near the back row, looking way too sexy for our school gymnasium.

I like how he doesn’t bother wearing the navy and silver team colours unlike most everyone else who comes out to watch us. It makes him stand out even more than he already does. Quinn’s a classy guy though and my eyes are very happy to see him there in that long woollen coat and his black jeans, his dark hair swept back from his face. I am a very big fan of the look.

I notice the way his eyes darken as he looks me up and down in my basketball uniform, the way he focuses on my biceps. I think maybe he likes the way I look too. Which works out very nicely for the both of us I think.

Trey bumps my shoulder as he notices me watching Quinn, obvious smirk on his face. I grin and focus back on our pre-game warm up.

“Do try to focus tonight,” Trey says in my ear as we head towards Coach. “I hope you’re not going to lose your game just because your man’s sitting in the stands.”

“Not going to happen,” I assure my cousin. I know this because having Quinn in the stands makes me want to play the best game of my life. My grandparents are here too, sitting beside Trey’s family and I want to make them proud as well.

“Good, cos we’ve got a game to win,” he reminds me. Not that I need the reminder. If we win tonight we shore up top place on the ladder which makes our path into finals an easier equation with guaranteed home games. Unfortunately, the same result is at stake for our opposition, the Southside Devils, who have been neck and neck with us all season.

We crowd around Coach Vizard, and I push thoughts of Quinn out of my head as best I can. Tonight is about the game, and I need to keep my focus there.

“Alright team, listen up,” Coach Vizard says. Trey is beside me, his arm heavy on my shoulders, Kye on my left. “We’ve put in the work, the sweat and the training. Tonight’s game isn’t about perfection, it’s about heart. It’s about playing for each other and leaving it all out on the court. Defence wins games. Hustle for every opportunity. Trust your training, trust each other, and stick to the game plan. JT, I want you setting the pace and fighting for every loose ball. Trey, I want you owning the ring. Vince, the jump balls are yours. Marco and Kye, I want their zone to be yours and every rebound in your hands. Everyone puts in the effort tonight and we leave it all out on the court. Let’s go, boys.”

We all put our hands in and chant 1-2-3 Dukes before the starting five run out onto the court. Our bench doesn’t get a lot of court time, but the guys there also play in the division two team, so I don’t feel bad for them. I can hear the crowd cheering for us and I risk a quick look up at Quinn, seeing his eyes focused on me. He gives me a lopsided grin and I return it before settling into my rhythm, mind on the game.

It’s showtime.

I play better knowing Quinn is up in the stands for me. I don’t like to admit it, but I am a bit of a showman and I like performing on the court. I do that better knowing I have a support team who are there just for me. Quinn is my person and I use him to fuel my game. I want it to be my best one ever and I feel like I’m getting pretty close to that. Quinn doesn’t clap or cheer like the rest of the crowd, but I relish those secret smiles he gives me even more when I do something he likes.

But even though I’ve managed to put up eighteen points by half time, we are still behind on the scoreboard. I also know what Coach is going to say as we huddle around him for his pep talk, his eyes on me and Trey. My excitement spikes.

“Look, I know everyone’s playing their part, but the Devils are very disciplined in defence. I think it’s time for a little Sterling chaos ball,” Coach says while the rest of the boys whoop and grin at us. I totally agree with Coach’s assessment. Trey and I do our little cousin fist bump as we prepare to let loose on the court.

We love it when Coach gives us permission to play chaos ball because it’s completely undisciplined and entirely throws out his playbook. But that’s the beauty of it because Southside’s defence can’t cope with the chaos that Trey and I can only create from growing up together on the court and knowing each other’s games back to front.

We give everything we’ve got, the team bringing the ball to us whenever they can. It’s not pretty and it’s far from textbook but we manage to pull away towards the end due to some crazy chaos that the crowd goes berserk for. We’re up by three points when the final siren blows and the game’s over. We’re minor premiers and it feels amazing as we make our way towards the locker room.

I’m in a hurry to get back out to Quinn but the guys seem to want to celebrate even though Coach Vizard is trying hard to keep a lid on things.

“What’s the plan tonight, cuz?” Trey asks as he sidles up beside me while I tie my shoelaces. “You coming out to celebrate with the team or are you having your own private cellie?”

“Do you mind if I skip out tonight?” I ask. Trey has been remarkably cool about me missing out on the team celebrations of late but I don’t want to push the friendship too far.

“Course not,” he grins at me. “Who am I to deny my favourite cousin a night of blowjobs and hot sex?”

I’m about to roll my eyes at my cousin when Marco appears out of nowhere. “Who’s getting blowjobs and hot sex?” he asks.

“Me of course,” Trey laughs, stepping in easily to save me before I hyperventilate.

“So just a standard Friday night for you then,” Marco laughs while Trey pumps his eyebrows. I know from past experience how this conversation is about to play out, so I nod to Trey who sends me a subtle wink and I make a stealthy retreat from the locker room.

Quinn is waiting for me near the door just like last week and I beeline for him, ignoring everyone else in the room. It’s not difficult. He is all I ever see.

“Want to get out of here?” I say before he can open his mouth. He just grins and nods at me and we both turn and head for the exit.

***

Friday nights are fast becoming my favourite night of the week. Actually, no scratch that. They’ve always been my favourite night of the week but these days they have gone up next level. Not only do I get to play basketball with my cousin and our amazing team, I also invariably end up naked in Quinn’s bed doing things with him which are fast becoming my favourite activity.

I can’t get enough of Quinn. I can’t get enough of his kisses, his touches, his mouth, his body. I want it all and I don’t want it to stop. I think I’m obsessed with him. Quinn loves my biceps, and I love that he has noticed them. I spend a lot of time at the gym working on those babies and I love the way he slides his hands over my muscles, gaze darkening. He likes my pecs too and I love the way he palms them, sliding down to my abs which are not as defined yet but I’m still working on those.

I love his body just the same and I am slowly working up my courage to touch him when and where I want. Neither of us can hide the way our bodies react to each other. Every time I’m with him feels better than the last, the slide of his body against mine, the feel of his hand and mouth on me. Mine on him.

I’m constantly wanting more. More of everything. More of the things we haven’t even done yet but which has my imagination in hyperdrive. I want everything. I want it all.

***

Training has been brutal this week but it’s no less than I expect. It’s the first week of finals and unfortunately our quarter final was moved to the other side of town to a neutral stadium as our home court was booked out for the junior formal. It gets worse though. Trey has a dentist appointment that cannot be rescheduled which means that he can’t give me a lift to the game like usual.

Which is why my parents reluctantly agreed to actually come to a game tonight. To be fair, they have been to a couple of my games in the past but their lack of enthusiasm is fairly evident. But tonight is a quarter final so I need them there even if it’s only out of duty.

Quinn wanted to come but he’s had a dinner planned with his mum and gran for ages so I told him to go see his family. He is really close with his gran who helped out a lot when his dad walked out on the family so she is really special to him. This is something I understand fully as I have two awesome grandparents too but they don’t like travelling far at night anymore, so they won’t be at tonight’s game either.

The only problem with the above arrangement is that the time has just ticked past six forty-five and my parents are very notably not at home. I’ve tried calling them thirty times at least but neither of them has picked up and I am getting anxious. The game doesn’t start until eight o’clock, but we have to be there thirty minutes early for warm-up and I need another thirty minutes for travel time.

I’m already pacing the living room, wearing out the carpet as I check my phone every few minutes and try calling once more. Seven o’clock ticks by and I know my time is officially up. I try one last time and am astonished when Mum actually answers the call.

“JT,” she scolds in her most flustered tone. “Why do you keep calling?”

“Where are you?” I ask, dread sliding into my stomach. “I have to leave for my basketball game right this minute or I won’t make it in time.”

“Oh dear, the basketball game,” Mum sighs. “I’m sorry, JT. We must have forgotten to mark it down. We’re at Friday fellowship night. Pastor Andrew has fallen ill with the flu and asked Dad to step in at the last minute.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I gasp, disbelief and bitterness flooding through me. “Is this not something you could have told me before you left me stranded before my game?”

“Calm down, JT,” Mum scolds. “It’s just a basketball game. You know our family priorities, and supporting your father in the ministry is number one.”

“For you it is,” I respond, too angry to check my tone. “You’ve made that very loud and clear.”

“I will not have you speak to me like — ” Mum begins but I’ve had enough. I end the call and let out a string of the type of curse words that would usually have me severely punished in this house. I don’t even know why I am surprised. This is just so typical of my parents and the insular world they live in where everything revolves around them and their priorities .

Well, fuck them.

I try Trey in the desperate hope that he might not already be on the other side of town but his dentist is out that way so I know the hope is in vain. I try the other guys but they are all well and truly on their way and I know it will be worse if two of us miss the game by making any of them turn around.

In the end I phone Quinn, knowing he’s busy but needing to hear his voice anyway. I must be close to tears because he picks up on it the instant he answers.

“JT? What’s wrong?” he asks. Just hearing his voice makes me feel so much better as all the emotions I’ve been holding in suddenly slide out.

“My parents decided their church event was more important than my quarter final,” I tell him.

“What?” he says, his outrage making me feel marginally better. I can hear the dull background noise of the restaurant he must be in, and I suddenly wish I was there with him. “What time is the game?”

“It’s at eight. I’m already going to be too late,” I tell him.

“No. Stuff that. I’m coming now,” he says. I can hear his mum and gran in the background, Quinn telling them something about me and an emergency and then Amy telling him to go, go, go .

“Quinn, no,” I say, voice cracking. “I want you to stay with your family. It’s not that important.”

“Fuck that, JT,” Quinn replies, steely determination in his voice. “I’m already outside at my car anyway. Be ready for me at the front of your house. I’ll be there in eight minutes.”

He hangs up before I can say anything as joy, relief and an emotion I’m not ready to name flood all the way through me. I can’t believe he’s coming for me — like my own knight in shining armour. I don’t even know why I’m so surprised by this either. Because while I should be used to my parents letting me down, it’s just as unsurprising that Quinn is ready to drop everything for me.

He is honestly just everything.

I suck in a few deep breaths, grab my sports bag and head for the front door. I wait impatiently as time slows down to a trickle before I hear the welcome purr of Quinn’s WRX and a moment later he is pulling up in front of me. He leans over and pops the passenger side door, looking up at me like all my dreams come to life.

“Jump in.”

I don’t hesitate, throwing my bag into the back seat while Quinn steps on the gas. “Find me the address,” he adds, throwing his phone at me where I quickly put the address into Google maps.

The GPS has me arriving at 7:54 p.m. which sounds really great because it’s before the game, but Google maps clearly does not know Coach Vizard because he is going to tear me to shreds. I might even end up benched because I’ve seen him do that to Vince when he rocked up late to a game earlier in the season just to prove a point.

“You okay?” Quinn asks as I sigh heavily, leaning my head back against the car seat. His hand squeezes my thigh. I love the feel of him there, steadying me.

“Not really,” I admit. I literally could not have had a worse preparation for a game if I’d tried. My heart is racing, adrenaline is pumping, and I know I’m going to drop soon which is exactly what I don’t want to be doing before a game. I also still feel like I’m going to cry at any minute.

“I’m sorry,” Quinn adds, voice gentle. I see the worried glances he’s sending my way.

“Don’t be sorry,” I tell him. “All tonight’s done is confirm for me that you’re the only one I get to rely on.”

Quinn is silent for a few beats before he squeezes my thigh again. “I’ll do anything for you.”

I love you.

I want to say it. I want to tell him those words that are stuck in my throat because I have never felt for anyone the way I feel for him. But I blink the words away. I need to get my head into gear and stop fixating on this mess my parents have caused me.

“Does Trey or one of your teammates know you’re going to be late?” Quinn asks as he runs through an amber light, speed hovering just above the limit.

“I should probably call him,” I agree. I let out a breath of air and then call my cousin. He picks up on the first ring.

“Please tell me you are on your way, cuz.”

“I’m on my way. Quinn came to get me.”

“Aw, tell him he’s our hero,” Trey gushes.

“You can tell him yourself. You’re on speaker,” I add. “But the GPS is saying I’m only going to be there just before eight.”

“Shit, cuz,” Trey replies.

“I know. Can you maybe try and run interference with Coach? I don’t want to be benched.”

“I’ll do my best. Lucky you’re his favourite,” Trey says. “Just do what you can to get here as fast as possible. And Quinn? We’ll do a team collection if you get any traffic fines.”

“I’ll get him there,” Quinn adds, and I can’t help but smile as he picks up the speed again.

I’m still frantic by the time we pull into the parking lot at precisely 7:51 p.m. Quinn shaved off three minutes from the expected arrival time and I want to kiss him for it but I also know I need to hit the court pronto. Quinn pulls up in the first available space and I grab my bag and jump out of the car. I’m about to run for the stadium when Quinn grabs hold of my elbow, stopping me from leaving.

“Wait, JT.”

“I’m running late,” I say, pointing out the obvious.

“I know but you’re not in the right head space for your game,” he says, also pointing out the obvious.

“I know but I don’t have time for that.”

“One more minute isn’t going to matter,” he replies, blocking me in against the car. He takes my sports bag from my shoulder and drops it to the ground. “Close your eyes,” he says. I’m about to protest but one look in his eyes has me giving in. I slump my shoulders and close my eyes. “Now take some deep breaths with me,” he says, demonstrating a long breath in and another breath out. It takes me a while to get my racing heart down to match his breaths, but I eventually manage it.

“Now, centre yourself,” Quinn encourages, his voice soothing and low. “Right here.” He presses his hand to my solar plexus, and I feel him grounding me, getting me into the head space I need for the game. “Good, JT.”

I’m about to open my eyes when I feel his lips on mine, just a quick peck but it brings me back to life and I feel myself smiling — somehow, miraculously, calm and at ease.

“Now get in there and play your best damn game ever, Sterling,” Quinn adds, swatting my ass before he picks up my sports bag for me. I don’t hesitate this time, rushing into the stadium where I feel the eyes of the team pinging between me and Quinn as he walks steadily beside me.

Coach Vizard’s eyes are on me, but I can’t even look at him. I don’t want to undo everything Quinn just did for me in the parking lot as I shuffle up to the team bench. Quinn drops my bag then moves into an empty seat in the stadium.

“Go warm up with your cousin,” Coach grumbles. I don’t give him a chance to say anything else before I’m out on the court, falling into my drill with Trey.

“You alright?” Trey asks as he passes me the ball.

“I am now.” I glance up at Quinn in the stands, his gaze steady on me, grounding me in the way only he can. He calms me, his presence steadies me, and I know that I can put this all behind me and play. Because of him.

Coach is suddenly at my elbow, and I try not to panic even though I know he might be about to bench me for reasons outside of my control. But that’s not what he says as he pulls me to the side.

“Your head in the game, Sterling?” he asks, that laser like focus on me.

“Yes, Coach,” I tell him.

“You good to start or do you need five minutes on the bench?” It takes me a second to realise he’s actually giving this to me as a choice. I feel my lungs loosening that I am in this position with Coach. That he trusts me to know my game and where my head is at.

“I’m good to start,” I assure him. “I want to start.”

“Good. Put whatever it is behind you and make the game your entire focus,” he says. He nods at me and then heads back to the bench.

“Man, only you would get a free pass like that from Coach,” Trey comments as he passes the ball to me. “Little coach’s pet.”

“Sometimes it pays to be the favourite,” I grin at him as Coach calls us all back to the bench. I glance up at Quinn again, exchanging a look with him as he nods at me, and I know everything is going to be alright.