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quinn

J T is back to his usual shy sweet self as he makes his way down the stairs later this morning, a little fresher after his shower. The image of him lying beside me in my bed when I woke up this morning is one that’ll stay in my memory bank for a long time to come. Right alongside the drive home last night when he told me how nice I am, how pretty he thinks I am—and something about eyelashes. Made me feel really nice.

It felt far too real and too natural, JT with his dark blonde hair mussed out on the pillow, his mouth open as he slept. I’d had to get myself out of there quick fast before I did anything completely inappropriate. Well, more inappropriate than what I’d done in the shower with thoughts of him on my mind.

I don’t know why I decided to go all hero last night but the sight of JT sitting there on that footpath had twisted something up in my gut. I’d been out with the guys at South Wharf, and it was really only chance that I’d crossed paths with him. We were heading towards Insanity ourselves when I’d stopped and seen him and knew I had to help him. It had pissed Jace off something fierce when I’d chosen to take JT home rather than go to the club like we’d planned.

Can’t say I am regretting that decision now either as JT steps into the kitchen, cheeks flushed and looking all cute and uncertain. Mum is still out on her late shift so it is just the two of us here this morning.

“Hi,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are you feeling better?” I ask.

“Much better,” he replies. “Hey ah, thanks for rescuing me last night. I don’t think I said that before.”

“Any time, JT,” I assure him. “Think you can stomach breakfast? I’ve only got cereal and toast.”

“I think I could manage some toast.”

I find the bread in the pantry and put two slices into the toaster. JT hovers in the kitchen and I have to pin my lips together to stop smiling as I pull out the orange juice and butter from the fridge.

“Coffee or juice?”

“Just a juice, please,” he replies.

I pour him a glass and then butter up the toast as soon as it pops. JT grabs the Vegemite from the open pantry and takes the knife from me to spread it himself and I let him, watching as that delicious flush spreads further.

JT takes his plate and moves to the dining table while I make myself a coffee then join him.

“I’m sorry if I messed up your night last night,” JT says. He has a crumb on his lip, and I have to grip onto my coffee cup to stop myself from brushing it off.

“You didn’t mess anything up,” I assure him. “We’d already been to the arcade and I really don’t mind skipping out on Insanity.”

“You don’t like it there?” he asks, perking up in his seat.

“I can take it or leave it. It’s kind of Jace and Eddie’s thing but I don’t mind going.”

“Oh,” he says. “Do you dance with Jace when you go?”

I nearly snort out a laugh. So many questions about Jace from this guy. “Sometimes. But I usually prefer sitting in a quiet corner with a drink.”

“Yeah, me too. Mostly.”

JT’s phone pings and he pulls it out of his pocket, squinting at the message. I can see it’s from Trey and he taps out a quick reply before putting his phone down.

“Your cousin’s pretty protective of you, huh?”

JT laughs. “Oh yes. Trey can be very overbearing.”

“He was all growly with me last night. Probably thought I had bad intentions in wanting to take you home.”

The flush is back, and I hide my grin with a sip of coffee. I love poking this guy. It’s pretty much become my all-time favourite sport.

“I don’t know why he’d think that,” JT mutters. “It’s not like you and I … you know.”

“It’s not like you and I what?” I ask, playing dumb.

JT swallows and I lose my control over my grin. “You’re playing with me, aren’t you?”

“Oh, it’s just too easy,” I chide. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. I can behave myself.”

“Do you always behave yourself?” he asks. There is a definite flirty undertone to that question. I wonder if he’s even aware.

“Not always,” I return, punctuated with a peaked eyebrow.

He squirms in his chair and drops his eyes to his plate. I would hazard a guess the blush is back.

“Why? I can’t imagine you’re always a good boy,” I poke.

“Don’t believe the rumours. I’m actually a very good boy,” JT says, that cute grin on his face.

“That’s disappointing,” I return. He doesn’t know what to say to that, so I give him a break and take his empty plate into the kitchen and stack the dishwasher.

“So, what do you want to do?” I ask, resting my elbows on the kitchen island bench. JT swivels in his chair as he looks up at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. “I can take you home whenever you want. Just say the word. Otherwise, we could chill here for a bit. Watch a movie maybe?”

“Yeah?” he asks, pretty green eyes lighting up. “I could watch a movie.”

“Alright then,” I say, trying not to show how happy I am that he wants to spend more time with me. He could have chosen to go home, and I would have taken him, no questions asked. But the fact he wants to hang out for a bit makes me feel all warm on the inside. I busy myself in the kitchen so he can’t see my smile.

***

JT and I end up watching two movies back-to-back. I throw a frozen pizza in the oven for lunch which we share straight from the plate, sitting with our knees pressed, shoulders bumping. Then I show him the forest walk behind our house. I don’t get out here a whole lot but JT loves it. His eyes light up when I show him the path that weaves through the tall pine trees and around the duck pond where we stay for a while. JT loves the ducks, and it is almost too cute watching him take everything in.

He lays down on the grass beside me, his t-shirt rising up as he rests his head on his arm. I wish I had the strength not to look. But his skin is smooth and tan, and I can definitely make out a little definition to his abs underneath his top. Besides, it’s not like JT didn’t help himself to a sneaky peek of my naked chest this morning, a fact I have been dwelling on with great delight ever since.

“I could stay here all day,” he sighs. I sift through some fallen leaves on the ground, needing something to do with my hands to stop my finger from dragging across that tempting sliver of golden skin. The low light of the sun is on his face, little dust motes dancing in the shaft of light. He looks like the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

“You’re welcome to,” I say, watching as his green eyes connect with mine. “But it does get cold at night. Just a word of warning.”

“You’ll have to snuggle with me then,” he says with a grin. I can’t quite tell if he’s joking.

“Is that what you want?” I ask anyway. He says nothing but he looks away from me, closing his eyes in the beautiful sunshine. I can’t get a read on this guy. Sometimes he looks at me or says things like that and it makes me think maybe . And don’t get me started on the blushes or the sweet, stolen smiles. But I don’t know if that’s just wishful thinking on my part and that thought makes my gut tighten.

I don’t know what I’m doing with JT. I know I like him and that I like being around him. But I also really want to kiss him. I want to touch him and do things to him that plague my dreams at night. I want to take his clothes off and kiss my way down his body, suck and lick him everywhere. I want to know what he looks like underneath those jeans and I want to know what he feels like.

Most of all though, I am all but certain he is not on the same page with me there so I know I need to cool it with him. To either let him catch up to where I’m at or let me walk away from him.

Either way, I’m desperately impatient to know where things are heading between us. Whether I’ve got a shot with him or whether he’s just going to be another what if .

It’s a little cruel, giving me this gorgeous, tempting guy with his big green eyes and that body of his. This sweet, sometimes shy boy who apparently ticks all the boxes I didn’t know I had. I think he might be trouble but I also know I’m not walking away.

Not until I know exactly what if .