Page 9

9

VAUGHN

I can’t decide why it bothers me so much that Austin wanted to check on Calvin. I mean, it makes sense. Austin is a good person, always has been. Some people think he’s judging them or snarky, but when it counts, he cares.

Still, I don’t understand why he’s giving Calvin the time of day, unless he really does like him. Hearing him say that Calvin threatened him after kissing him, though, pisses me off to no end. It makes me want to slam my fist in his stupid face—and I’m not really that violent of a person.

Though I do enjoy the hell out of football. I don’t actually try to hurt anyone. But he hurt my best friend. That’s just unacceptable to me.

When we get to my place, we’re greeted by my mom. Dad picked up an extra shift, and my sister is still with her friends. We head to my room, but I can’t stop thinking about Calvin.

And Austin.

Calvin kissing Austin. It just doesn’t sit right with me, and not because they’re both guys. I swear that doesn’t bother me. I just want Austin happy, and how the hell can he be happy with Calvin?

“Something tells me you aren’t thinking about homework,” Austin says, closing his textbook and eyeing me with suspicion and knowing.

“I just don’t want you dating Calvin,” I blurt out, and his eyes go wide.

He huffs, covering his face with his hands and falling back on my bed. “Jesus Christ, Vaughn. I told you I don’t like him like that.”

“But you said it was right when you kissed.” I scrunch up my nose because I just don’t get it. I guess Calvin is a decent-looking guy, objectively, but Austin is beautiful. Inside and out. He can do so much better.

He drops his hands from his face and stares at me from flat on his back. “I don’t know how to explain it to you. I guess...” He sits up and crosses his legs, so he’s facing me head-on. “I’m guessing you’ve never been kissed by a guy.”

I shake my head. It’s not something I’ve ever even considered. Besides, I wound up with Vanessa pretty early. But could I have kissed a guy if I hadn’t started dating Vanessa? I think about it for a moment. I like kissing Vanessa. She smells good, and she’s soft and warm. Her lips are soft.

Would a guy’s lips be that soft? What about their hands? They’d probably be all rough and big. I frown, not sure I’d like that.

“Okay, stop.” Austin laughs. “No guys for you.”

I shrug. “I don’t think it would bother me to kiss a guy. I just don’t think it would do anything for me.”

“Exactly,” he says, looking me dead in the eyes, like he’s waiting for me to get it.

I think about it slowly, and Austin just lets me process it, waiting patiently like he does. “So when you kissed Misty, it was okay, didn’t bother you, but it wasn’t something you wanted to do all the time?”

“Right. Girls don’t repulse me or anything. I just don’t want to kiss them.”

“That makes sense.” I like that Austin explains things to me like this. I could never ask one of my other friends something like that. They’d give me so much shit. But Austin never does that. Not with anything. He just explains it to me in a way I can understand.

“Okay, so now let’s get some homework done because I plan on sleeping in my own bed tonight.”

That makes me frown. “What? Why?”

He laughs and hands me a textbook. “Because we don’t always have to sleep in the same bed.” He shoves me when my frown becomes even bigger. “Vaughn, come on. I’m not always going to be able to sleep over in college.”

“Yeah, I know, which means we should now while we can. I don’t sleep as well without you.”

Instead of being weirded out or teasing me, he just grips my shoulder, comforting me, “You’re going to be fine.”

“See, if you’d get your own place, I could sneak out every night in college.”

He snorts, but I don’t miss a quick look pass over his face—this odd look he gets every so often these days when I bring up college.

“Is that why you want to go to college? To hook up?”

“What?” He looks a little offended, but he still smiles when he shakes his head at me like I’m ridiculous. “No. I’m going to college for an education.”

“But you still want to date, right?”

He gives me a serious look, and I’m not sure why my stomach twists up in knots, thinking about it. I mean, he should date. Austin is amazing. He deserves to be happy. But what if he starts dating an asshole worse than Calvin?

“Because you have to be careful with that. It’s a bigger city. It’s different from here, and what if you wind up with a prick?”

He gives me that deep heavy sigh I’m getting really used to. “I won’t. I’m smart. Don’t worry.”

“I know you’re smart—like, book smart, but people—that’s different. You might trust the wrong guy. What if I’m not there to help?”

He pats my knee with his hand. “Vaughn, it’s not your job to protect me, and I know you think it is, but I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself. And yeah, it would be great to meet a guy to get naked with, but that’s not why I’m going to college.”

Naked with? What the hell?

He laughs and shoves me, nearly knocking me back on the bed because I wasn’t ready for that. “What’s happening to your face?”

“Naked? You want to have sex with these guys?”

He laughs again as I right myself, sitting back up. “Are you really scandalized by that? I’ve had to watch you and Van dry hump in the hallway so many times, I’m surprised I haven’t gone blind.”

“Shut up.” I shove him back, and he cackles. “That’s not true. We don’t do that.”

“You do. It’s disgusting.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “We do not.”

“Come on. Enough distractions. We need to study.”

“Right. So you can get away from me,” I snark, and I just get a roll of his eyes in return.

“Not true.”

“One more question,” I say as I crack open my book.

“What?”

“Are you coming to prom with Vanessa and me? It’s two weeks away.”

He’s already shaking his head, and I’m not happy. I knew he’d fight me on it. “What? No. That’s a date for Vanessa and you. It’s senior prom.”

“So?” I shrug, so not getting it. “Vanessa wants you to come with us. It’s better than you going alone.”

“Yeah, I’m not going at all.”

I stare at him, shocked. He went last year, begrudgingly, but he still went. “What? Why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t need to, Vaughn. I’m ready for school to be over. I want to graduate and get the hell out of here. I’m just counting down the days.” He places a solid hand on my shoulder. “You need to go with Vanessa and have a blast. Please don’t think about me when you’re there.”

Yeah, right. I decided not to fight him anymore on it, though I’m disappointed. We do our homework, eat dinner, and then he pries himself away from me and drives home to his own house and his own bed.

I toss and turn as I try to go to sleep. Don’t think about him when I’m at prom and he’s at home, not at prom?

Is he insane?

Of course I’ll be thinking about him and how he’s supposed to be where I am. Always.