Page 25

25

AUSTIN

“ Y ou okay, sweetie?” my mom asks as I look toward the front door at Vaughn’s parent’s house for the fiftieth time. I need to chill out, but it’s like a limb is missing. Which is so not a good thing when I’m keeping something from my parents like this.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” I say, but I can sense her worry, and I know I should cool it.

“How is school?”

I smile at her now because school is great, even though I’m starting to think maybe I chose the wrong one. I was so afraid that going to State would hold me back, but now it kind of feels like choosing KU is holding me back from being with Vaughn. Which is crazy and confusing.

I know it’s probably not going to last—I mean our own parents don’t even know, for Christ’s sake—but I could have been with him every day. If it’s going to end anyway, shouldn’t I try to get every second I can?

The thought of it ending at all makes my gut sink though. I never thought this would be possible. I thought going to KU could be a distraction from the pain—that maybe I’d meet someone I liked even half as much as Vaughn—but I think I was lying to myself.

“It’s good,” I answer vaguely.

But she doesn’t get to ask another question because the front door opens, and in comes Vaughn, a great big smile and three pies in his hands. His dad rushes over to take two, and he puts one on the counter. His eyes find me, and even before he does it, I know what’s going to happen. I could stop it—maybe—but I freeze as he walks over, takes my face in his hands and kisses the hell out of me.

I get lost in it for a moment, the rest of the room disappearing. My grandparents are here, so are his, along with his sister, his parents and mine, but they’re in the back of my mind right now as Vaughn feasts on my lips.

I grab his biceps and hold onto him instead of pushing him away, and it’s only when I hear a throat clearing that I jolt back. Vaughn looks just as stunned as I do, and when I look around at all the faces watching us, it’s clear we aren’t the only ones.

“You have something to tell us?” my mom asks, her arms folded, but she doesn’t look mad. Or even that shocked.

I look over at my mom, my mouth gaping open and then closing, then turn to Vaughn. “Oh shit,” he says. “I, um...” He looks panicked now—and this is what I mean by him not being afraid of anything. He just acts without thinking, and he looks like he’s going to puke now. “Shit, Austin. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to out you. I swear... I didn’t plan to do that.”

Oh. Ohhhhh ... He’s worried about me. Not him.

My mother, God bless her, actually chuckles at that. “Honey, I think Austin was already out.”

I turn to her now. “What?”

She raises one stern eyebrow at me. “Really? You’re going to play it that way? I hear you had a pretty big coming out.”

Okay, what the hell? She knew about that? “You didn’t say anything?”

She waves me off and shares a smile with my father—who’s looking pretty smug. “Honey, a mother knows her son. I had an idea about it before the gossip in town started. Do you really think it matters to us?”

My dad gives me an easy, reassuring smile. “It doesn’t.”

“You didn’t say anything,” I say again, struck dumb.

I feel Vaughn at my side, standing there in solidarity, as if he’s not totally sure what he should be doing right now.

“We thought we’d wait until you were ready to tell us.”

I can’t help but laugh at that, feeling an odd sense of freedom I didn’t know I wasn’t feeling before. I don’t know why I didn’t tell them yet, but now that I know they know—I just feel lighter. “So, you both know.”

“That you’re... gay? Is that how you identify? Because I’ve read that you’re the only one who gets to define that, and I shouldn’t listen to nosey assholes in town on that one.”

I snicker. “You cursed.” She just waits for me to answer. “Yes. I’m gay.”

She smiles and walks into me, hugging me close. “Okay, then.” She turns to Vaughn. “And you, sweetie?”

Vaughn looks around the room, and I’m fully prepared to give him an out. Maybe I can say he hit his head or something. Or maybe he did it to protect me somehow? They’d probably all buy that.

“I’m not gay,” he says carefully, and I let out a deep breath. That’s okay. He’s not ready, and like my mom said, it’s up to him to decide when and if he wants to come out. “But I...” He watches me carefully. “We’re together.” His eyes land on his own mother, who I can’t really read. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I didn’t plan to kiss him in front of everyone because I didn’t want to out him, but I want everyone to know he’s mine.”

Face. Palm. He cannot act so possessive, right here in front of everyone, because it does things to me. Holy shit, he’s not afraid at all. He wants everyone to know about us. He just totally told everyone.

He’s in this. Truly in this. It’s not a rebound. Or a phase. Or loneliness. Holy. Shit. Vaughn actually loves me back.

I stand there, frozen stupid, worried about what his parents are going to say. What if they can’t accept us?

“You two are together? As in you’re dating?” his mom asks, and Vaughn nods his head firmly.

“Yes. He’s not just my best friend but also my boyfriend.” His shoulders are squared, and his chin is lifted like he’s prepared for a fight.

“Huh,” his mom says, thinking it over. “Okay then.”

We both startle, and Vaughn steps closer to her. “You’re fine with that?”

His mom gives him an irritated look. “It’s not something I get to be fine or not fine with, Vaughn. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. That’s all any parent wants for their kid.”

“Any good parent,” my mom adds.

Vaughn’s mom seems to agree. “I just didn’t know you two were dating. What about Vanessa?”

“We broke up. I didn’t cheat,” he says, and she nods.

“Good. She’s a sweet girl...” His mother looks over at me with a warm smile. I realize maybe I wasn’t breathing normally because I let out a full breath of air when she does. “And your boyfriend is a very sweet boy.”

I grin at that, and Vaughn wraps his arm around me, hugging me close. “The sweetest.”

“What about football?” Vaughn’s dad chimes in, and I can see Vaughn’s mom is about to scold him, but Vaughn holds up one hand to stop her.

“What about it? I’m still on the team, even though we didn’t make it to a bowl game this year. I’ll be back and ready next year.”

His dad is hard to read, looking pretty stern, even as he nods. “People are going to be assholes about this. Are you boys ready for that?”

Vaughn squeezes me tighter to him. “I’m ready for anything. Most of my team knows anyway.”

His father looks surprised, but then we finally see a hint of a smile on his lips. “Okay then. You just let me know if you need any backup.”

We all chuckle at that before settling down at the table with grandparents and family, all seemingly either unsurprised or unbothered. It’s a nice feeling.

Vaughn leans into me after scooping potatoes onto my plate and passing it on. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t plan that.”

I chuckle and look at him. “I know. It’s okay. I think the only one you actually outed was yourself.”

“Totally fine with that,” he says with a bright smile, and I know, without a doubt, he means it.

My brave beautiful man who isn’t afraid of anything. I could learn a lot from him, it turns out. I think everyone could.