Page 16

16

AUSTIN

“ V aughn, answer the door.” I pound on the door again, my heart racing. I’ve seen him drunk a few times, but he’s never sounded like that. He was distraught. Vanessa broke up with him?

What the hell is going on?

I’m ready to go down to the lobby and demand a key when the door opens. A very rumpled, disoriented Vaughn finally answers the door, with one leg in his jeans and one out, shirtless, and his hair a mess.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you really here?” He puts a hand to his head, looking wobbly on his feet.

I walk into the room, letting the door close behind me. “Yes. Of course I’m here. You didn’t sound so good on the phone.”

He chuckles, but it’s half-hearted as he kicks off his jeans and barely makes it to the bed before face-planting. His black boxer briefs hug his ass, but I quickly look away as I sit down next to his head.

“Vaughn, talk to me. What happened with Vanessa?”

“She met someone.” His voice is muffled by the mattress.

“She met someone?” I repeat to make sure I heard him right. How could she do that? They were happy...

“Yup.” He climbs up so his head is resting on my thigh, and I brush my hand through his hair. “She said she didn’t mean for it to happen, but that it shouldn’t have if we had what she thought we did.” He brings his hand up to his head again, “Ngh. I don’t think that made sense. My head hurts.”

“I’m sure it does. How much did you drink?”

“Don’t know. I took everything that was offered.”

Well, that’s... worrisome. “Do I really have to have a talk with you about safety? You can’t just take things if you don’t know what they are.”

“It was alcohol.”

“They could have spiked your drink. That’s dangerous.”

He just hugs my leg and groans. “My heart hurts. I’m all alone.”

I try to soothe him, dragging my fingers through his hair again. “Shh. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

He peers up at me through glassy, red eyes. “You look nice. Why do you look so nice?”

I laugh slightly at that. “Thanks, buddy.”

“You had a date. I ruined your date.” He lays his head back down on my leg, and I continue stroking his hair.

“Nah. It was pretty much over when you called.”

“Why’s that?” He sounds sleepy now as he snuggles against me, and I settle back against the wall, getting slightly more comfortable. His head resting in my lap.

“Eh, he was maybe a little too much like me. I don’t actually want to date myself.”

“Goodbye, Justin.” He doesn’t sound too broken up about it, but I can’t help but laugh at that.

“Yeah. He’s a nice guy but no chemistry.”

“Gotta have chemistry,” he mumbles, and I smile.

“I’m sorry about Van.”

“Me too. I didn’t see that one coming.”

I didn’t either. I spent the past four years trying to be totally fine with Vanessa and Vaughn eventually getting married, being endgame, and now they’re just broken up. I can’t seem to reconcile that in my brain at the moment.

“Hey, Austin?”

“Yeah?” I absently brush my hand through his hair, looking around his dorm room that has only this bed, and yet is still bigger than my dorm room. Fucking jocks.

“Are you still in love with me?”

Good. Lord. I look down and see he’s gazing up at me, his eyes curious. I have to assume it’s the alcohol that’s making him ask, even though he seems quite a bit more sober now than when he called two hours ago. “Does it matter?”

“You always matter to me.” He says it so effortlessly, making my heart kick up a beat.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever stop loving you, Vaughn.”

“I love you too, you know?” Goddammit. I can’t hear this. He snuggles into me, and before I know it, he’s snoring. Thank God. I know he meant he loves me as a friend, but it does dumb things to my insides when he says that.

It’s hard for my brain to separate the two things. And now... Vaughn is single for the first time in a long time. Not that it really matters, of course, but try telling my stupid heart that.

The night was rough. Vaughn woke up twice to run down the hallway to the communal bathrooms to puke and then came back and passed out, tossing and turning for hours. I grabbed him an electrolyte drink and some aspirin, but it’s clear he’s still feeling it this morning.

“Wanna talk about it?” I ask as he tries to choke down some water.

“Not much to talk about. She dumped me. Said she wants to be friends, but I don’t know how to do that.”

“Hey, you’re pretty good at being a friend,” I try, but he doesn’t smile. I hate seeing my best friend so broken like this. This is so unlike him.

“When do you have to leave?”

“I’m free until Monday morning.”

His eyes light up now. “So you’ll stay tonight too?”

I grin at him, feeling happy just because he’s happy, which is an all too familiar feeling when it comes to Vaughn Montgomery. “Yeah. I’ll stay tonight too.”

“Good. Promise I won’t drink myself stupid then.”

He leans back against the wall, his feet dangling over the bed. I’m sitting the same way, and he leans his head on my shoulder. I have to remind myself that we’re just two friends. Nothing has changed. He’s still straight, and I’m still just that sad guy in love with his best friend.

“You’re going to have to feed me though,” I say when my stomach grumbles.

He groans. “I don’t think I can smell food right now without hurling. Who can do this every weekend?”

I laugh. “I’ve definitely seen some people trying to already this year.”

“Not for me.” He takes another sip of water and thankfully, keeps it down. “Give me ten. I’ll walk with you to the dining hall.”

“I can just go somewhere close and pick something up. I don’t want you to feel sick.”

“No way. I finally have you here with me. We’re eating breakfast together.”

He looks a little green, but after more water and more aspirin, we finally make it to the dining hall. He manages to eat some toast, and I try not to grab anything that’s going to turn his stomach.

After that, he seems to have more life in him, and we walk around campus, him showing me where he has practice and even some of the buildings he has classes in. “It’s a great campus,” I say honestly. I think I would have been okay here, it’s different enough from Big Bend, but I still don’t feel much regret for not going here.

Not until I see my best friend’s sad eyes and know he’s already dreading when I have to leave. I am too, for that matter.

“We need to make plans to hang out more,” I say to him as we arrive at his dorm.

“Yeah?” He looks way too happy about that, but honestly... same.

“Yeah. I didn’t go to KU to get away from you. I don’t want that, Vaughn. I just needed new experiences. Further from home.”

“Yeah.” He sits down on his bed, and I follow. “I get that, I guess. Kind of.”

I chuckle. “But I do think you should talk to more people here. Let them see the real Vaughn. I have no doubt they’ll love you.”

“Like you love me?” His question takes me by surprise, and I want to joke about him being a dick, but I can’t seem to.

“No, asshole.”

“Because no one will love me like you love me.” He says it matter-of-factly, and I’m not sure where he’s going with this.

“Are you still drunk?”

He rolls his eyes at that, but I can’t help but notice he’s staring at my lips. That can’t be right. His eyes move back up to meet mine, and I see a question there. What it is, I’m not sure, but he’s curious about something.

“No.” His voice is quiet. “I’ve really missed you.”

I release a quick breath. “I’ve missed you too.”

He licks his dry lips and then is looking at mine again. I shift uncomfortably on the bed, not sure what caused this little bout of staring. I want to know what he’s thinking right now, but I’m also terrified.

He’s never looked at me like this. Sure, we cuddle, and we’re close, but his gaze is... intense. He’s breathing hard, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he was about to lean in and kiss me.

I stand up quickly, even though I’m sure I read all that wrong. He just broke up with his girlfriend. He’s lonely and confused.

No way in hell am I taking advantage of that. It’s clear my quick move away from him startled him as he looks over at where I’m now standing by the window, looking down at the campus below.

“What’s for dinner? I’m starving.” I’m really not, but our breakfast was more lunchtime, and we did walk around for quite a while.

He’s still watching me carefully, but thankfully, he seems to shake it off long enough to get up and suggest we go check it out.

I can’t help but think something weird just happened, but I’m trying not to think too hard about it.

But I still wonder if he felt it too.