Page 6 of Double Dirty

His suggestions gave me something to focus on, practical strategies to protect myself next time. Even though I couldn’t take his advice.

“Lexi, I don’t know you well enough to have any right to give you advice, but you can’t go back there. Get reassigned, demand that your supervisor sends someone else. Refuse to go there. It’s the only choice here. Nothing I can teach you is going to protect you 100% with this guy. Jesus, he said he was going to beat your ass. You have to take this seriously. Nothing against my classes, but they’re not enough, not when you’re already in danger.”

I had thanked him for his concern, but I’d told him the truth when I said there was no other way. Janet was busy with her managerial duties and still recovering from knee replacement. There was no way she was going out there. And Brody wouldn’t trade me cases or do anything resembling a favor for me in this lifetime. I didn’t tell Rafe why. He had already been compassionate enough to find out why I wanted to learn self-defense. He’d listened to me while I explained the threat against me, the impossibility of being reassigned. He didn’t need to hear the details of every unfortunate thing that ever happened at work.

Part of me didn’t want the guy to think I was a whiner. I already felt weak, cornered in my situation. It would help somehow if he thought I was brave, if he thought I could find the good in things. So, I told him I wished things were different, but mainly I wished they were different for thelittle Watts girl. She deserved better than this. She deserved a parent who fought to make things right and get her home, not one who made threats and neglected her and took no responsibility for the problems.

“It breaks my heart every day,” I told Rafe honestly, “That these babies deserve so much better. The worst thing about today wasn’t that I was scared. The worst part was knowing that this is all that his little girl has to hope for. That going home to a father like that is the outcome we’re hoping for.”

Again, I had wanted to curl up in his arms. There was something about him, about that man I’d just met. He had a burly, powerful body—I should have shrunk away from him. All that muscle could have been punishing. His sheer size could have been intimidating. Instead, because of the way he carried himself, because of his demeanor, he seemed confident and strong, not menacing. Rafe seemed like the kind of man who would put his arm around me on the couch, let me snuggle against his broad, muscular chest, and he’d hold me tight. I’d never had that; never known a man or anyone at all who held me, but I yearned for it. And my body or my hormones or something seemed to recognize him, to register his protectiveness, his innate goodness.

I trusted him. I never trusted easily, not after the way I grew up. But something in Rafe called out to me, made me feel safer. It was a wonder I didn’t burst into tears. The only thing that really stopped me from crying was the fact that I didn’t want to flat out horrify him.

When I got home and locked my new deadbolt, I distracted my worried mind with thoughts of what I’d like to do with Rafe Sullivan. Horrifying him wasn’t even on the list.

4

Leo

Igot a kick out of making Rafe squirm. We grew up together. We’d always been like brothers, and I never missed a chance to give him crap whenever I could. He was level-headed most of the time, so I didn’t get as many opportunities as I did in high school when he chased after the head cheerleader for an entire year. To be honest, I hadn’t seen him that stupid over a girl since then. Until Lexi came into the picture.

I could tell from day one that she was different. Rafe clammed up and didn’t want to spill details. If it was just some girl he met at a club, he’d talk about how they met and where they went for a late-night snack and what music she liked and if she had a crazy family. We never trash talked our dates, but we shared funny stories and kept each other in the loop. So when he wouldn’t talk about this one, it was pretty obvious that he wanted to keep things private for a reason.

Rafe saying it was only professional concern was total bullshit. I knew my friend too well for that. He might not dip his pen in the office ink, but he sure as hell didn’t actlike it was the nineteenth century and avoid all the women who ever went to that gym. He closed ranks, acted like he needed to protect her. He only gave me the bare minimum of information when I asked. He never offered information freely.

The thing was, I knew he’d been seeing her for weeks. I knew because instead of coming home to shower and have a few beers after his self-defense classes twice a week, he always rolled in about three hours later than usual. I’d ask if she had come to class, and he’d say yes. They’d go to Lacy’s afterward for a bite to eat.

His face when he talked about her—it was hilarious and pathetic at the same time. What little he’d ever say was said with a serious expression like he was talking about church or the Constitution or something else extremely important.

“Does she have a key to the apartment yet?” I asked him once, and he gave me the finger.

I was just talking shit, but I was concerned for the guy. He was in deep and didn’t even know it. He hadn’t brought her around the house yet, so I hadn’t seen her, although he had finally showed me a picture on his phone. She had sent it to him from work one day, a selfie with a bakery bag and the caption, ‘wish you were here but I wouldn’t share my bagel’. He had grinned when he showed it to me, like it was something really clever and adorable. He had it bad, and I told him so.

I’d just come off a fire call, showered, and went to Lacy’s. I figured I’d meet the girl he hadn’t told me much about. When I walked in the diner, I saw Rafe sitting in a booth, a dark-haired girl across from him. I went to their table to sit down with them.

Rafe took one look at me, stood up and moved to sitbeside Lexi, “Come on and have a seat, man. We got room,” he said, indicating the empty side of the booth.

“You must be Leo,” she said, smiling at me.

I’d seen a picture of her. I knew what she’d look like, but I wasn’t prepared for how little justice the picture had done her. Her smile was enough to knock me on my ass.

“Hey. I thought I might get a chance to meet you if I dropped by. Since my boy here is ashamed of our house.”

“No way, we have a great house. You can see the house anytime. It’s this jackass I didn’t want you to meet. Thought he’d scare you off,” Rafe said to Lexi.

“I don’t scare off that easily, do I? I’ve been wanting to meet the hero fireman. Save any kittens from any trees today?” she asked me.

I had to laugh. I liked her humor. “Not today. I did slay a few dragons and stopped some old wiring from smoldering in an attic,” I said modestly.

“How many dragons?” she said, “I always thought a few meant three, like a couple is two, but I’m not sure about that.”

“At least five,” I said, boasting of my imaginary dragons.

“See, I think five would be several, not a few. That’s the problem with the English language as far as I’m concerned. We don’t have enough specific words.”

“I see your point,” I said, “but I think we have some great specific words. Like beer, for example. Nachos, there’s a good one.”

She laughed. Lexi had a great laugh. I had gone to the diner to meet the girl and have more ammunition to tease Rafe. But I liked her already. What was more, I could see how he felt about her. He didn’t have his arm around her, but he kept looking at her, then shredding his paper napkinor picking at his pie, like he was really busy tryingnotto put his arm around her.