Page 74 of Conquered (Highgate Preparatory Academ:y Compendium)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

LILLY

I wake up sandwiched between two hot bodies, surrounded by the smell of vanilla cookies, lemon drizzle cake, and musky man.

God, I've missed this!

I lie there for a few moments, eyes blinking, as I recall all of the events of the past few days and nights. I feel at peace, like I'm exactly where I need to be, with exactly who I need to be with. I should feel all kinds of fucked up, but I don't. Not anymore.

Gently extracting myself, a girl has to pee , I elicit a small grunt from Jax as I climb over him. Grabbing a t-shirt from the floor, Jax's by the size and smell, I throw it on and head out of the door, padding down the hallway.

The delicious smell of bacon wafts up the stairs, and walking down them, I see that Kai is making breakfast. Or I guess, brunch.

He turns and smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. He's not necessarily as devastatingly beautiful as the others, but he's got that Disney prince look down. You know, the geeky one with the boy next door charm who is an animal in bed.

“Good morning,” he says as I walk up to him. He’s making pancakes by the looks of it, one hand holding a whisk and the other a bowl of pale batter.

“Good morning, Kai,” I say, leaning in and kissing him full on the lips.

I think I take him by surprise as his own lips don't move for a second, then I hear the clatter of the whisk and bowl dropping on the countertop, right before his hands come up either side of my face, deepening the kiss. His tongue demands entrance, which I give willingly, morning breath be damned!

Pulling back slightly, he looks deep into my eyes, his honey brown ones full of lust, longing, and a touch of relief.

“Thank you for not giving up on us,” he whispers whilst his thumb strokes my face.

“Thank you for not giving up on me either,” I say softly back, and we both smile, sharing this sweet moment.

The smell of slightly burning bacon has Kai leaping towards the hob, pulling the pan off before cursing, and I giggle. He ends up laughing too, and it's such a wonderfully free sound, I wish I could bottle it up and listen to it whenever I was feeling down.

“Come for a hike with me today, Lilly? I'd like to show you something,” he asks, looking into my eyes once again.

“I'd love nothing more,” I beam at him, and it's true. A hike sounds perfect. “Just let me grab a shower, and I'll be good to go.”

“No rush,” he says ruefully, indicating the pan of charred meat. “I'll make us breakfast to go.”

H alf an hour or so later, I'm ready to go, Ash, Loki and Jax still fast asleep upstairs.

As Kai and I walk out of the Academy’s back doors, the warm sunshine hits my face, and I pause, closing my eyes and soaking it in. There's a definite chill in the air, but the sun goes some way to make up for it. A smile lifts my lips, this truly is a remarkable place.

Opening my eyelids, I find Kai standing in front of me, a look of almost wonder in his gaze.

“What?” I ask, smiling up at him. My lips seem to be permanently tilted upwards today, I can't stop the expression.

He reaches out, cupping my jaw in his warm, dry palm. I nuzzle in, loving the feel of it.

“You have no idea how precious you are, Lilly,” he says, his voice melodic and soft. “You are full of a light that draws us in like moths to a flame, and we would willingly burn in the depths just for a single taste.”

His words send my pulse skyrocketing, and I melt in his hands as his thumb traces my lips before he leans in, placing a gentle kiss on them. He pulls back before it can get deeper, giving me a knowing smile that's more suited to Loki.

“Let's go,” he says, taking my hand in his.

We head off campus into the surrounding woods, the calm and tranquillity just what I needed after the last couple of days. Hell, the last couple of weeks have been crazy, and my hand tightens on Kai's, thinking about that dark time when I was all alone without their comfort.

A thought occurs to me then, and although I hate to break the peace that surrounds us, it won't go away, buzzing in my head like a wasp.

“Kai?” I ask tentatively as he leads me up the trail. He's slightly ahead of me, but still has a firm grip on my hand.

“Yes, Lilly?” he says, looking back at me.

“Can I ask you a question? About you guys and...the cabin?” I see his shoulders stiffen slightly, and his steps slow so that he’s by my side.

He sighs. “I will answer anything you want to know, Lilly. If it's in my power to do so, and if it's my story to tell,” he replies.

I take a deep breath. “Last night, you all acted so in tune with each other, like you've done that sort of thing a million times before…” I taper off when I see the pained look in his eyes, his hand now gripping my own tightly.

“That's because we have done that sort of thing before. We've done terrible things, Lilly,” he tells me, his tone weary. “But we've had little choice,” he adds quietly, and I stop us, turning to face him. I use my hand to bring his face up so that he is once more looking at me.

His eyes are full of pain, and shadows of a past that have left scars on his soul. I know in another life, a kinder life, Kai would be the same gentle soul he is, just without the nightmares in his eyes.

“Hey, I know you guys had no choice. That you still don't have much of a choice. I don't blame you for what you've been forced to do, Kai,” I say, and a flicker of hope and relief enters his gaze.

“You are too good for us, Lilly,” he breathes.

“No, I think we're just right for each other,” I say with a gentle expression, and the smile that lights up his face causes fireworks to explode in my heart.

We stay staring into each other's eyes until Kai breaks the contact, resuming our walk and tugging me gently along with him.

“How...how did you learn how to do it?” I ask, needing to understand more of how they came to be the guys I see today.

Another sigh leaves his lips. “That night, when Loki turned fourteen…” he begins, but I interrupt him.

“It was Loki's birthday?!” I exclaim. I know he's referring to the night their fathers and his uncle took them to the cabin.

“He's the youngest of us and turned fourteen that day,” Kai says sadly, and my eyes fill with tears, my heart breaking once again for what these boys have been through.

“Well, think of that night as the kick start of our training,” Kai continues.

“After that, we were expected to learn our various roles and crafts.” Kai's nose wrinkles at this.

“We would be taken to the training camp, which is at the back of the cabin, every weekend and school holidays and put through our paces both physically and mentally. Jax even spent time in South Africa learning how to be a medic so that he could keep people alive while he...” he trails off, but I know what he is referring to.

So Jax could torture people better, longer.

“Mentally?” I ask, dreading the answer.

“Have you noticed how the others are always playing music?” he queries, turning to look at me.

I nod. It was definitely something I'd spotted, but not thought too much about, as I love listening to music too.

“One of the ways we were conditioned was to be put in isolation.

A white, padded, soundproof room with no windows.

We'd be kept in there for hours, sometimes days. Poor Loki was once in there for over a week when his parents went abroad and forgot about him.” Kai's eyes are full of anger as he recalls the memory.

“The guys were left in utter silence the whole time, so now they can't bear it.”

My soul aches at hearing this. How can their parents be so cruel?

“And you?” I ask softly as we make our way along the path, still side by side. “You don't listen to music as much as they do.”

“My uncle went the opposite way with me and played only very loud thrash metal,” he says with a shiver. “I still can't listen to it after all of this time.”

Suddenly, I feel freezing, as if the sun is no longer in the sky. I can see it shining through gaps in the trees, but this is a cold that is on the inside, and I'm not sure it'll ever warm up.

“Oh, Kai,” I say in a choked voice. My heart bleeds for them all.

“Hey,” he says, stopping and taking my other hand in his. “It's okay, Lilly.”

“It's not okay. How can it be okay?” I almost sob, and I feel hot tears tracking down my face.

His thumbs come to brush them away, then he pulls me in close, surrounding me with his fresh woodsy scent. It's different from the forest that surrounds us. He smells like grass and leaves after the rain, and it soothes me, despite my heart still hurting.

“I wish I could get you away from them,” I murmur into his chest, my hands grasping his thick padded jacket.

“You don't need to worry about that, Lilly,” Kai says. “We won't be under their rule forever. Trust me.” And I look up into his eyes, realising that I do trust him. I trust them all unequivocally.

I nod, too full of sadness for the boys that lost their early teens to monsters, to be able to speak.

We head off again, and soon approach a clearing in the trees. My mouth hangs open as we get nearer. Surrounded by trees all around is a rocky pool that looks like it's steaming.

I look at Kai who's smiling broadly now, his gaze on me.

“Welcome to Highgate Springs,” he tells me, dropping his backpack and undoing his jacket.

“Kai! What are you doing?” I ask. I mean, I know what it looks like he's doing. It looks like he's taking his clothes off.

“Getting in, of course,” he says with a boyish grin, laying his jacket on a large rock.

“Kai, it's fucking freezing!” I say, pointing to our feet. “And there's snow on the ground!” We had a small flurry last night that was melted by the Academy, but obviously, the sun hasn't reached it here in the middle of the forest.

“Yes, there is,” he agrees calmly as he pulls off his black jumper. He's still in his jeans, hiking boots, and a grey t-shirt, which he pulls off next, in that sexy guy way, and my breath hitches.