Page 171 of Conquered (Highgate Preparatory Academ:y Compendium)
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LILLY
T he next morning passes by in a blur, the guys cocooning me in their loving embrace that a week ago felt stifling, but now feels like a warm security blanket, protecting me from the harshness of life.
I’m snuggled on the sofa with Loki and Jax, the latter massaging my feet which feels like utter fucking bliss as he rubs the tension away, when a frantic knocking sounds at the door. My heart leaps, and I sit up, pulse pounding until I hear Willow’s voice on the other side.
“Stop fucking those hotties and open up! I know you’re back, Lilly!”
A small laugh barks out of me as Ash strides over to the door, opening it with a scowl. Willow, bloody awesome bitch that she is, just brushes past him without so much as a pause in her step and stops when she sees me, her eyes welling up.
“Hunter told me what happened, and–shit. I’m so glad you’re back, babe,” she hiccups before bursting into tears, and I rush to get up and get my arse over to her, wrapping her now sobbing, fairy form up in a tight hug.
“I missed your crazy, lovely,” I tell her, my own voice thick with tears.
We hold each other for a few beats, and it dawns on me how much I needed her these past few weeks, my new bestie. And also how much I might owe her and her brother. Pulling away, I look into her crystal eyes, the tears on her lashes making them shine like diamonds.
“Willow, your brother. I owe you all so fucking much,” I say, sincerity in my tone. I definitely would have gone mad without the twins and Mai. She scoffs at my words.
“You don’t owe anyone shit, babe,” she tells me, her blonde curls bouncing as she shakes her head. “You’re family, Lilly, and family helps each other, no questions asked or debts owed.”
It’s Ash’s turn to snort at that, and we both look over to him, a question in my expression, but Willow beats me to it.
“Something to say, Vanderbilt?” she sasses him, and I love her for it. I think even Ash approves as I see a hint of a smile on his gorgeous lips.
“We are clearly not family as the Knights owe the Shadows a favour, according to your brother,” he states, crossing his arms and levelling her with his stern, grey eyes. I can’t say that I’m all that surprised, isn’t this how gangs work after all?
“Please,” Willow says, rolling her eyes and turning back to me. “It won’t be something that you’re not willing to do. The Shadows aren’t those kinds of monsters.”
There’s a darkness in her eyes at the end, like clouds that sweep over the sun, leaving you shivering, and I’m reminded that Willow has her own past, her own tale of woe that she’s yet to share. I won’t push her though. She’ll tell me when she’s good and ready.
“How about a movie?” I suggest, grabbing her hand and leading her to the sofa, making scooting motions with my other hand at Loki and Jax so they give us some space.
“I’ll make some popcorn,” Kai offers, putting down his iPad and getting up to go over to the kitchen.
“Sweet and salty?” I ask, giving him pleading eyes, and he chuckles, placing a kiss on my lips as he passes.
“Of course, darling,” he replies softly, and I beam at him.
“Urgh, you’re all so in love it’s almost sickening,” Willow mock-scoffs, and I stick out my tongue, knowing that she doesn’t mean it.
“So, tell me all the gossip that I’ve missed out on,” I command her, and she wrinkles her nose as she thinks for a moment.
“Honestly? Not much happened,” she says, and then her eyebrows lift as she clearly thinks of something.
“Oh! There was one thing now that I think about it.” She leans closer.
“The ex-Governor’s daughter has gone missing, presumed kidnapped but no one knows for sure.
Apparently, his son, R-something, used to go here but left shortly after Halloween last year, no one knows why. ”
“Robert?” I ask, my heart beating fast at the mention of my would-be rapist.
“Yes! That’s the one! His sister went missing as it’s been all over the local news. She’s just vanished without a trace, kinda like you.” She winces as she says the last part. “Soz, babe.”
“It’s okay,” I reply absently, looking up at Ash whose jaw is clenched. “Did you know?”
“Of course,” he answers, arching one perfect brow in that way of his. “It wasn’t important, given the circumstances.”
Oh yeah, given my abduction he means. Fair point.
“Well, I hope that they find her soon,” I say to the room.
“I hope that they don’t,” Kai murmurs as he walks back, carrying drinks while the popcorn begins to ping in the pan. I look at him.
“Why?”
“The shit that we planted on the Governor’s laptop was nothing compared to the rumours of what he’d planned to do to his daughter.
Word was that he’d put her virginity up for sale to the highest bidder, so long as they had good connections,” he sneers, and suddenly I feel sick, taking my iced tea from him but not wanting to take a sip after that.
“What?! But he went to prison, didn’t he?” I ask him, a coldness spreading across my limbs.
“Twelve-month suspended sentence provided he undertook psychiatric treatment,” Kai practically spits out, his nostrils flared. “He argued that he wasn’t well and needed help.”
“Plus, the Benjamins helped,” Loki adds, his upper lip curled in a sneer.
“Why is it always the rich ones? Why does their money make them untouchable?” I ask, my eyes stinging as I think about the things that I—and my mother—have had to suffer at the hands of these corrupt, despicable men.
No one can give me an answer, and we sit in silence for a few moments, each lost in our own morbid thoughts.
“So, how’s the baby?” Willow finally asks, and I give her a grateful smile.
We spend the rest of the afternoon catching up a little—though Willow is careful not to ask about my time in England and mostly regales me with all the latest Highgate gossip—and watching terrible rom-coms on the massive TV.
It’s so normal that my skin begins to itch, and I fake exhaustion to go upstairs to Loki’s room, well, my room too, as I don’t want Luc’s old room now even though Ash did offer it to me.
I need some time alone, still not used to so much contact with different people.
I get jittery seeing the tightness in Willow’s and the guys’ eyes as they glance at me.
We all know something is up, I’m not the same girl as I was before, and I hate that they might think it’s them that’s the issue. It’s not, it’s me. I’m…broken.
And that pisses me off. The fact that cuntbag, Adrian, has made me feel uncomfortable with the people that I love. Has changed me irrevocably that I feel like I no longer know myself.
Isn’t the princess meant to live happily ever after once the bad guy has been slain by her Knights?
Yet, he isn't—wasn’t—the only villain of my story, was he? I only have to think of Julian cuntish Vanderbilt’s wicked smile and lingering touch, Rafe Griffith’s lecherous gaze, and Stephen Matthews’— fucking paedo prick —cruel words.
No, Adrian Ramsey was not the only evil that needed to be eradicated. There are still yet more waiting for their karma.
Sunday night rolls around and I can’t sleep, slipping out from between Ash and Kai who did their best to exhaust my body with so many orgasms I lost count.
But my mind won’t settle, the sticky dread of what tomorrow morning will bring occupying my jumbled thoughts.
It’s the first day back in class, and I don’t know how I’m meant to function, how I’m meant to be after all this time of being away.
I quietly pad downstairs and hook my phone up to the speakers, turning the volume down but needing the noise after the silence of my confinement.
I pause as I realise with a start that I am now more like the guys than I was before.
We can’t stand the silence, needing music to drown out the demons that threaten to take over and pull us under.
How fucked up is it that it’s our trauma that binds us?
That the people who were meant to take care of us scarred us instead so badly that we had to take refuge in each other, our broken pieces fitting together far better than our whole selves ever could.
Far From Home by Sam Tinnesz begins to play, the song expressing how I felt for all those weeks, trapped and unable to escape my beautiful prison.
“Can’t sleep?” I hear from behind me, and I turn to see Kai standing there limned in the silvery moonlight that’s filtering in from the window.
I asked them not to draw the curtains, needing to see the glittering night sky of Colorado to remind myself that I wasn’t in Wiltshire at my, I mean, Adrian's house.
“No, my mind is racing,” I confess in a whisper, wrapping my arms around myself even though the air is warm. I’ve a feeling that this isn’t the kind of cold that a warm jumper will be able to fix.
“A wise and beautiful, young woman once convinced me that keeping things bottled up would only allow them to fester,” Kai says, his lips tipped up in a soft smile, and he steps towards me until his fresh woods after the rain scent caresses my nostrils.
“Talk to me, darling.” The end of his words lilts up so that it’s almost a question, as if he doesn’t want to push me but knows that I need to spill out my troubles.
I sigh, closing my eyes briefly. It makes the words easier to say somehow.
“I’m so fucking angry, Kai,” I grit out, my jaw tight and fists curled.
I feel the flood of rage flow through my blood, making my heart pound like the sound of war drums. My eyes snap open, looking up into his eyes.
“I’m spitting mad that all these men think that they can just do as they damn well please, taking and taking and never thinking about their own fucking evil.
That what they are doing is wrong on so many bloody levels it’s obscene. ”
My chest heaves, the frustration at everything and feeling so fucking powerless spilling over, sitting like oil on water coating everything in its path and suffocating all that is pure and good.