Page 35 of Coming Clean

“I love this house too and I… I love you,” Connor said.

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. “Y-you do? I didn’t think… I mean, I knew you cared but… Oh God, I think I’ve loved you since the day you first touched me. The day you were…”

“Freaking out?”

“Struggling with your past. Connor, I’ve never thought?—”

He held up his hand. “I made an appointment for next week with the therapist Sabrina recommended. The one who inspired her to become a therapist too.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“So you’re really going to stay? You really turned the job down?”

I nodded. “I did. And now that I know you feel as strongly about me as I do about you, I’m going to stay right here. I’ll write my book and then… I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. I’ll still make some travel plans, but maybe you could come too and… No, that’s crazy.”

“What is?”

“I was about to ask you to move in, but you?—”

Connor

I couldn’t wait for Jeremy to finish his sentence. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Jeremy’s stunned expression made me laugh.

“Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

“Really?” He beamed, looking so boyish and adorable.

I started to pull him into a kiss, but my phone chimed, ruining the moment. “That’s Mario’s ring. I’m sorry, but I have to answer.”

Jeremy nodded as I pulled the phone from my pocket. “Hello.”

“Don’t ever hide anything from me again, you got that?” Mario said.

“I—”

“I’m so pissed at you right now, but I couldn’t… Fucking hell, I couldn’t leave without calling you back, you bastard.”

Mario hadn’t expressed that much emotion since he’d rescued me. “Wait, you’re mad at me because I hid that I was gay, not because?—”

“I hate that you like dick. I wish… Are you sure you don’t like women, not even a little?”

I grinned. He wasn’t going to stop talking to me. He wasn’t shutting me out. “I’m sure.”

Mario snorted with disgust. “I don’t get it, but you fucking saved me, man, and I… I can’t hate you, no matter what you put in your ass.”

“Wait. You think I’m a bottom?”

He started laughing. “I bet you love it.”

“What the fuck? I—” I glanced at Jeremy. I had loved it, but I loved fucking him too. “I like a lot of things.”

“Gross,” Mario declared.

“You don’t have to like it, but you can’t talk shit about gay guys in front of me if we’re going to stay friends.”

He huffed. “I still don’t think it’s right, but goddamn it, I want you to be happy.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I want you to be happy too.”

Mario laughed, but he didn’t sound amused. “I don’t think that’s likely, but at least there’s hope for one of us.”

“I love you. You know that, right?” I asked.

“You too.” He ended the call then, obviously not willing to talk any more about himself.

“Everything okay?” Jeremy asked as I put my phone away.

“Yeah, I think it is. Fuck. I can’t believe it. He was angrier that I’d hidden it from him than anything else. He’s not happy, but he’s not going to push me away.” I pulled Jeremy to me, and we held each other, soaking in the comfort we’d missed.

“I love you,” he said, his breath warm against my neck.

“I love you too, and I’m so glad you didn’t give up on me.”

I took his face in my hands and kissed him, gentle at first, pouring love into him, then harder, holding him still while I thrust my tongue into his mouth. Part of me was ashamed of the way I’d treated him the night of the awards dinner, but my cock wanted more hard, rough fucking.

Jeremy pulled away, his breath ragged. “Connor?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to fuck like we did the other night… when you were mad at me.” His cheeks were bright pink, but his voice didn’t falter.

“Really?” My pulse sped up.

He nodded. “I’ve always fantasized about sex like that but I’ve never… It was so fucking hot.”

I’d held myself back every time we’d fucked because he was too precious for me to harm. And all this time, he’d wanted it like that? “I was afraid you’d hate me for treating you like that.”

“I was hurt and angry, but so were you, and the way you held me down, fucked me so hard—I loved it.”

“I loved it too.”

“I’m not that fragile, you know?”

I smiled, because now, I did know that. “Okay, but promise me this?—”

He grinned. “Anything. Well, maybe not quite, but close.”

“I won’t treat you like you’re fragile as long as you promise to top me some of the time.”

“I like that plan. A lot.”

I felt like the luckiest man in the world. “Perfect.”

I backed Jeremy up until he hit the wall, then kissed him again, letting desire take over, finally ready to let myself believe this could work. He reached between us, opening my pants and his own. I took both our cocks in my hand and stroked.

“Arms up,” I ordered.

He obeyed, groaning when I captured both his wrists with one hand. I tightened my grip on our shafts, and he bucked against me, driving his cock through my fist.

“Like that, do you? Being held down?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Good,” I whispered against his ear before kissing my way down his neck. “I like it too.” I fucking loved it, knowing I affected him that much.

“Upstairs?” he asked, his voice scratchy with need.

“Yes! Hurry!” I let him go and stepped back.

He ran up the stairs, and I followed close behind. When we reached the bedroom—our bedroom?—I had the same worry he’d had earlier. “Is this a dream?”

“I hope not, because then I’d have to ask you to move in with me all over again and I might not have the nerve.”

I tackled him and we both fell onto the bed. “You’d better ask me later if we’re dreaming, because I’m liking the idea of you and me sharing a bed every night more and more.”

He nodded frantically. “Me too.”

I loved him in this mood. “We’ll be together a lot. Any idea how we’ll fill all that time?”

“Oh, yes, but right now you’ve got something else to fill.”

“Damn right, I do.” I grabbed his boxers and pulled them off.

Then I looked down at his body stretched out for me to explore, all mine with no need to rush or stop or hide what I wanted.

The knowledge filled me with a warmth that had nothing to do with animal lust and everything to do with love. “Thank you,” I said.

He looked puzzled. “For what?”

“For being patient with me.”

“I’ve not been any more patient than you have. I was an idiot to hide the job offer from you.”

“You were, but I get why you did it. I might have done the same thing. Fear fucks with your thinking.”

He nodded. “It does.”

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

He reached up and stroked my cheek. “You don’t have to be. I’m right here.”

I kissed my way up his torso and just before capturing his lips again, I said, “If this is a dream, I hope we sleep for a long time.”

He pinched my ass so hard I nearly fell off the bed. “What the hell was that for?”

“Now you know. It’s not a dream.”

I rubbed my ass. “You didn’t have to pinch me that hard.”

“Awww. Did I hurt the tough, wittle mawine?”

I glared at him. “You’re asking for it.”

“I sure as hell hope so.”

We both laughed, and I stretched out over him. We kissed until neither of us was capable of thinking about anything but how much we needed each other.