Page 19 of Coming Clean

Connor

I pushed Jeremy’s hands out of the way. “I got this.”

He started to protest, but I shut him up with my teeth on the muscle where his neck met his shoulder. He shuddered and gave in. Good. I couldn’t wait any longer.

In seconds, I had both our cocks in my hand.

I stroked them slowly, savoring the sensation of him rubbing against me.

I’d done this with men before, always in some dark, hidden spot, half-waiting for someone to catch us.

It had always been a rush—fast, impersonal, desperate.

But this? This was different. This was real. This was pleasure.

Jeremy clung to my shoulder, neck tilted just right, making it easy for me to lick and suck at his skin. God, I wanted to mark him. I hadn’t dared to do that with anyone before, but now I craved it.

“Please,” he whispered, his voice wrecked with need.

“Please what?” I growled. “Tell me.”

“Suck my neck. I fucking love that.”

I did. Hard. Deep. I breathed him in, his scent, his heat—everything. He was leaking like crazy now, his precum slicking my hand and making everything feel even hotter. I was close too, but I was determined to get him there first.

Jeremy writhed in my arms, hips jerking forward, fucking into my fist. Then he clamped his hand over mine, urging me faster.

“Right there. So good, so… Fuck!”

He nearly collapsed, and I tightened my arm around his waist, holding him up. I was right there with him, my balls tight, fire licking up my spine. No. Not yet. I didn’t want it to end.

Then he slipped his hand into the back of my pants, fingers sliding along the crease of my ass. “More,” I begged, voice hoarse, desperate. When he pressed against my hole, I couldn’t stop the gasp. I’d never wanted anything like I wanted this.

He must’ve sensed it, because he pushed harder, one finger slipping inside. That was it. I was done. I hovered on the edge, and then I came, hard, my orgasm crashing through me like a wave that threatened to drown me. I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began.

“Holy fuck!” Jeremy shouted, his body shaking as he came. His cum spilled over our joined hands, hot and messy and perfect

Even as we softened, I didn’t let go. I couldn’t. I didn’t want this to be over.

Jeremy touched my arm. “Are you okay?”

Was I? I wasn’t sure. But I wasn’t going to freak out—not again. This wasn’t just about sex. This was about Jeremy.

“I’m fine,” I said, hoping it sounded convincing.

He grabbed a dishcloth, cleaned himself off, and then took care of me. I stood there, watching him like it was all happening to someone else. I had to say something. Anything. “I don’t want to leave.”

His eyes lit up. “Good. I don’t want you to.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Really. Now tell me what else you want.”

I didn’t hesitate. “I want to do that again. Maybe not that exactly , but?—”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Jesus.” My cock twitched to life. Again. Just hearing those words from him…

Jeremy laughed. “I like you like this.”

“Stunned? Horny?”

“Uncertain. This is the real you, isn’t it? Not the tough guy you pretend to be.”

I bristled—briefly, but I wanted to be honest with Jeremy. “Maybe. I think so.”

He nodded, accepting the words like they were enough. I looked away, unable to take the kindness in his expression. How the hell could it be so hard to let someone care about me? I didn’t even know who I was half the time—Marine, scared kid, lost civilian…

Jeremy tucked himself back in but didn’t fasten his jeans. “Let’s go upstairs for more privacy.”

I glanced around, finally realizing we were in the damn kitchen with the windows wide open. What the hell was wrong with me?

“I should’ve thought about that.”

Jeremy waved it off. “If someone’s spying, they get what they deserve.”

God. This man. I pulled my pants up enough to follow him up the stairs.

Once we were in his bedroom, he started stripping. I barely managed to pull off my shirt because I couldn’t stop staring. His skin, smooth and pale, those lean lines—I couldn’t believe I was about to be naked with him. In a real bed with clean sheets.

All the sex I’d had was rushed and impersonal. This wasn’t going to be like that. The thought of sliding slowly into Jeremy made my cock throb.

He turned and caught me staring. “You look… predatory.”

“I want you. You’re… fuck, you’re beautiful.” I’d never thought I’d be into someone like him—refined, elegant—but now he was the only thing I wanted.

Jeremy grinned. “The first day I met you, I couldn’t stop staring at your ass.”

I felt heat rise to my cheeks. “I wanted you the second I saw you, but I didn’t think someone like you would want me.”

“You mean a nerd like me?”

“No. You’re smart, put together…”

He shook his head. “I’m a mess. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing in three months. I love this house, but it doesn’t make sense to keep it.”

I pressed a finger to his lips. “To me, you’re perfect.”

He made this soft, broken sound, like he didn’t believe me, so I kissed him. His lips were exactly how I imagined—soft, giving, mine . I licked his bottom lip. He moaned, and I felt him pressed against me—warm, hard, real.

We stumbled toward the bed. He landed on his back, stroking himself, waiting for me. My mouth went dry.

“I’ve never… sucked a guy off before,” I admitted, heart hammering. “But I want to try.”

His throat bobbed. “Please. I want you to try everything with me.”

I knelt, took his cock in my hand, and inhaled deeply. Spring. Clean sweat. Jeremy. I licked the tip, surprised by the taste—sharp but not unpleasant. I pressed my tongue into the slit, then took him in, just a few inches.

Jeremy gasped. “Fuck, you’re killing me.”

I teased him, licking, kissing, tasting every inch. When I nibbled his balls, he made a noise that made my dick twitch. I took him deeper, needing to see him come undone. He pushed at my shoulders.

“You gotta stop. I’m gonna come. I can’t?—”

I hesitated. I wanted to make him come like that, but I wanted to fuck him more, so I pulled back.

He stared at me, eyes wide. “You really hadn’t… done that before?”

I shook my head, lips tingling, and he sighed.

“You are so fucking hot.”

“You still want me to fuck you?”

His whole body shivered. “God, yes. Please.”

He rolled over, digging through the nightstand. He tossed me lube and a condom and shoved the covers down. I helped him kick them to the foot of the bed, then he spread his legs and stroked himself. “Don’t make me wait. I’ve already waited too long.”

I wanted to fuck him right then, but I also wanted to take my time. My hands were shaking.

“You have done this before, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Yes. But I’ve never had the chance to enjoy it. Not like this.”

“Never?”

“Even after the Marines, I was still hiding. But with you… I can’t hide anymore.”

“I’m glad.”

No one had ever looked at me the way Jeremy did, like being touched by me was a privilege. Most of the guys I’d been with probably wouldn’t have cared if it had been someone else. But Jeremy wanted me .

“Now. Please.” His voice was raw, desperate. I wrapped a hand around his cock, and he bucked into it. “Don’t stop.”

“I’m not going to. I’m going to give you exactly what you want. I’m going to watch you come.”

“You’re amazing,” he panted. “So fucking real.”

I froze. “I’m not. I’ve been faking everything. Pretending to be brave. Pretending to be straight.”

Jeremy shook his head. “You had reasons. But the real you—the one I see—is open, trusting, honorable.”

How the hell did he see something in me I couldn’t even find myself?

Jeremy

I reached up and traced Connor’s cheekbone. “Don’t hold back on me this time,” I said, my voice lower, surer than I felt. “I want you to say all the things, do all the things you didn’t the other night. I want you to be fully here with me.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft but weighted. “I was there before, when you… I wanted to tell you, but I was trapped inside myself. I let fear win. But you… You were perfect.”

I tugged him down to kiss him. God, I needed him. “There’ll be time for us to explore each other, lots of time,” I whispered against his lips. “But right now I need you. This is kind of new for me too.”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, not new really—just unusual. It’s been a long time since I bottomed.”

His eyes widened. I could tell he hadn’t expected that. Most people took one look at me and made assumptions.

“If you don’t want—” he started.

“No! The thing is, I love to be fucked, but I don’t trust easily, and I won’t let anyone inside me if I don’t trust them.”

“But with me…” He gave me that look again—the one that said he didn’t know how to take praise. It broke my heart and made me ache for him all at once.

“I trust you, Connor. I don’t know why. I just do.”

He kissed me again, softer this time. “Thank you. I know I hurt you yesterday. I’m going to try not to do that again. I can’t promise I’ll get it right, but I’ll go as slow as you need me to.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to be too gentle. I love the power in you, the aggression, the hunger I see on your face when you look at me.”

His face flushed, jaw tense. “Fuck.”

“Yes,” I urged him on, my voice dropping lower. “I want you to fuck me. Do you understand? You’ve wanted a man like this—one who’s all yours, no reason to rush. Make that wish come true.”

He looked stunned, vulnerable. “I’ve never even been fully naked in bed with anyone.”

“Then we have a lot of catching up to do,” I said, though the ache in my chest wasn’t only for his past. It was for me, too—for the honor of being his first real taste of this kind of freedom.

I watched him grab the lube, watched as he slicked his fingers and circled my entrance. I groaned, my body already greedy for him. When he pushed in just a little, I tried to rock back, but he steadied me with one hand on my hip.

He teased me for a few seconds that felt like a lifetime before pushing a finger, then a second, inside. He moved slowly, deliberately, until I couldn’t take it anymore.